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#1 | ||||||||
We have to go back, Kate!
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Yorkshire
Posts: 25,964
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'Nick Ross and the myth of the self-guiding penis'
Saw this interesting little comment piece in the Guardian today. It caught my eye, partly because I've been following the whole Nick Ross rape comments controversy, and partly because it resonated with a documentary I saw recently about attitudes towards women and rape in Delhi.
For background: Nick Ross hosted the popular and long running Crimewatch series, in which ongoing criminal investigations are discussed; re-enacted as part of a call for new information, and run phone banks to take viewer calls etc. The police come on and put out calls for info and warnings about dangerous indivuals, or con gangs known to be working an area and so on. Ross has recently published a book, one chapter of which is being serialised in a national newspaper. In said chapter he makes some dubious comments about rape, and whether or not all rape is the same and whether or not women and particularly victims of unwanted or coerced sex see all rape as the same. Having read some of the chapter it's not as bad as it has been made out, at leat I don't think it is. But the debate it has provoked is an interesting and perennial one. Quote:
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Rest of article here: http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/th...atell-rape-men
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#2 |
polaroid of perfection
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: West Yorkshire
Posts: 24,185
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Another Nicky, well Nicky Campbell, picked up one of his contributors on 5 Live the other morning for using the term "child porn."
He said that whether we like it or not, pornography as defined by sexual images is part of our lives. Child pornography, however, is simply abuse. That was something I had never heard before and I have to agree with him. Back to the case in point. I abhor Ross's suggestion that the way a woman is dressed makes her a target for sexual penetration against her will and with the threat of violence. Ditto her actions - having the temerity to get drunk and maybe flirt. He made some hideous comment about shops not having high-value items right by the exit because if they were snatched (my deliberate choice of words) then the shops only had themselves to blame. Being liberal, I do try to see the other point of view in case I can learn something from it. And I admit that I have previously been in a compromising position, which I shouldn't have put myself in, didn't really feel I wanted to be in, and just did what I thought would cause the least problems. And yes, that included penetration, but only with someone I had already had sex with. I did give more than one blow-job which was a "Maybe now I can sleep" compromise. I did not consider any of these assault. No violence or threats were involved. I had been an interested participant right up until I wasn't, and I compromised. And I have friends who were in the same situation. We shared our reactions which were a slight distaste, like realising you've started your period in a nightclub and the FHP machine has been smashed in. BUT I have also known women who were thoroughly manipulated. None of them virgins, but cornered into situations they could not control. With people and in places they realised were scary. One who was an occasional smoker who was deliberately offered a very heavy form of skunk until she did not know what she was doing and ended up with two very, bury nice Oxbridge types. Her fault? Nick Ross would say-so. She was just too sweet and trusting, and honestly felt violated the next day. Did she report them? As if. Intentions, meanings, outcomes, they are on a sliding scale. That much I give Ross. But he married it up with the idea that some woen are asking for it. And that I can never accept.
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Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac |
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#3 |
I'm still a jerk
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Little Mexico
Posts: 1,817
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I have been in a few situations and have had things done and asked to do things by women that I was not 100% on board with but when along with because that is what my partner wanted.
Domestic abuse and rape for men have no services or centers we are on our own. And in most case of men who are abused by women the male victim is arrested because the idea the men as victims is such an anathema. I have a friend in a situation, the mother of his child physically abuses him. She knocked his teeth out and there is no help, no centers, no support groups, and especially not from the police; she was never charge and he barley made got off from being charged himself. This is wrong on a fundamental level and we do need to change how male victims of abuse are treated. The whole concept of "self-guided penis" is heterophobic and misandric; that men are violent ravishing beasts upon the mere sight of flesh doesn't demonize women it demonizes men and male sexuality.
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"Without deviation from the norm progress is not possible." - Frank Zappa It is the ignorance of ignorance that lead to the death of knowledge The Virgin Mary does not weep for her son, for he is in paradise. She weeps for the world , for we are in suffering. |
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#4 | |
Glutton for Gluttony
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Tampa, FL
Posts: 1,409
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It's interesting to me that, in order to try to cope with some of the ugly realities of our lives, of the pain we inflict on each other, of the troubles our societies have wrought purposefully or by accident, we conflate different problems and simplify causal relationships. "Rape happens because the woman invites it" for example, being a gross reduction of a complicated web of gender roles, views of sexuality (both male and female), psychological manipulation, and misunderstood scientific fact (like the infamous "the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.") It brings to mind the view that some have that "the poor are poor because they're lazy," which ignores matters of access to opportunity, support for education, generational poverty, racism, etc. As if big problems could have such simple answers. |
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#5 | |
We have to go back, Kate!
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Yorkshire
Posts: 25,964
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As the article says: 'The myth is as offensive to men as it's dangerous for women'.
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#6 |
Doctor Wtf
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Badelaide, Baustralia
Posts: 12,861
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If you are genuinely incapable of controlling your sexual urges, you are by my definition criminally insane and should be locked up for the safety of the general public.
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Shut up and hug. MoreThanPretty, Nov 5, 2008. Just because I'm nominally polite, does not make me a pussy. Sundae Girl. |
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#7 |
I'm still a jerk
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Little Mexico
Posts: 1,817
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Well if you have that level of impulse control issues there should be a long laundry list of crimes attached to you.
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"Without deviation from the norm progress is not possible." - Frank Zappa It is the ignorance of ignorance that lead to the death of knowledge The Virgin Mary does not weep for her son, for he is in paradise. She weeps for the world , for we are in suffering. |
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#8 |
Snowflake
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Dystopia
Posts: 13,136
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A couple of thoughts that occasionally trouble me:
1) The brain regions that regulate impules and correlate actions to consequences are not fully developed until somewhere in a person's twenties !!! You can form an abstract association in a child's mind between what they are / are not supposed to do, or have them internalize a rules set, but unless they fall way outside the bell curve of Piaget's developmental stages, they aren't going to fully grasp these things in a larger context. 2) Our impulse control, etc. (and basically everything about us) is genetically coded to a great extent... making us all automatons, right? I cannot validate a good argument for 'free will' unless the laws of physics are not obeyed. So... we may as well just go ahead and lock certain people up, right? Or kill them at birth, if they fail a genetic test for social adaptability to a predetermined standard. Catching them after they do stuff and putting them in jail sure as hell isn't going to change their brain chemistry.
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****************** There's a level of facility that everyone needs to accomplish, and from there it's a matter of deciding for yourself how important ultra-facility is to your expression. ... I found, like Joseph Campbell said, if you just follow whatever gives you a little joy or excitement or awe, then you're on the right track. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Terry Bozzio |
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#9 | |||
Doctor Wtf
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Badelaide, Baustralia
Posts: 12,861
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People's behaviour is guided partly by their genetics, but also very much by their upbringing and recent and current environment. However, each action (for responsible adults) is chosen with knowledge of the potential consequences, and so social punishment like imprisonment is a reasonable penalty provided the laws were known in advance to the wrongdoer. Quote:
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Shut up and hug. MoreThanPretty, Nov 5, 2008. Just because I'm nominally polite, does not make me a pussy. Sundae Girl. |
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#10 | |
Snowflake
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Dystopia
Posts: 13,136
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And it doesn't matter why (nature vs. nurture)--unless we are aiming at root causes, not reacting as an afterthought.
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****************** There's a level of facility that everyone needs to accomplish, and from there it's a matter of deciding for yourself how important ultra-facility is to your expression. ... I found, like Joseph Campbell said, if you just follow whatever gives you a little joy or excitement or awe, then you're on the right track. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Terry Bozzio |
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#11 |
polaroid of perfection
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: West Yorkshire
Posts: 24,185
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Not strictly relevant, but interesting.
A retiring Judge, Alan Goldsack QC, recently opined that children from "criminal" families should have their children removed at birth to prevent them continuing the cycle of crime. Because he is now sitting on judgement in cases where he has previously convicted the parents or even grandparents from the same family. Interesting group on which to base your opinion; people who end up in court. Of course our childcare, fostering and adopting system is the envy of the world and no child who enters the state system ever suffers ![]()
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Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac |
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#12 | |
We have to go back, Kate!
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Yorkshire
Posts: 25,964
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Not to mention that those families don't have any other pressures on them beyond the innate criminality of the parents.
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#13 |
polaroid of perfection
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: West Yorkshire
Posts: 24,185
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No. They just like it.
I never picked up my parents' love for cauliflower or brussel sprouts, but had they been crims I'd have gobbled it down that propensity wholesale.
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#14 |
Person who doesn't update the user title
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 13,002
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I wouldn't walk around South Central at 2 in the morning, flipping gang signs and yelling obscenities.
I wouldn't traipse around the Serengeti with a meat necklace on. I wouldn't dive into the ocean then cut a gash in my leg with a shard of glass. What i'm saying is there ARE predators and we do have to burden a certain level of personal responsibility to not get into situations where we're likely to be victims of some ne'er-do-well with shenanigans on its mind. I don't hide in the house. I don't hide my face or slink around. I would, and do, however, carry myself in such a way that I don't look like some injured bunny who will cry about the mean old lion who eated me when I wasn't doin' nuthin'. I also won't pull the mask off the old lone ranger, nor will I mess around with jim. Jus' sayin'. Last edited by infinite monkey; 06-06-2013 at 10:36 AM. |
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#15 |
is a beach
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: One step back from the end of the world
Posts: 245
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