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04-22-2009, 05:36 PM
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#2671 |
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Makes some feel uncomfortable
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 10,346
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Why is George W. Bush's semen white and his urine yellow?
So he can tell if he's coming or going.
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 "I'm certainly free, nay compelled, to spread the gospel of Spex. " - xoxoxoBruce
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04-22-2009, 09:10 PM
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#2672 |
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Blatantly Homosapien
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 6,200
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Men's underwear come with built-in indicators.
Brown on the back: CHANGE Yellow on the front: CHECK BACK Pink: NEVER MIND
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Please type slowly. I can't read very fast............... and no holy water, please. |
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04-23-2009, 12:14 AM
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#2673 |
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barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy.
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 23,401
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Subject: FW: HOT AIR BALLOON EXPERIENCE
A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am." The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude. She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a Republican." "I am," replied the man. "How did you know?" "Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct. But I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me." The man smiled and responded, "You must be an Obama Democrat." "I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?" "Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You've risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it's my fault."
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"like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt |
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04-23-2009, 07:49 AM
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#2674 |
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Blatantly Homosapien
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 6,200
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Very good. I'll rip and use that today. thnx.
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Please type slowly. I can't read very fast............... and no holy water, please. |
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04-23-2009, 08:32 AM
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#2675 |
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Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya?
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 21,206
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Oh classic classic classic...that is the worst recycled really old joke rendition I've ever read. It doesn't even make sense.
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A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby |
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04-23-2009, 09:30 AM
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#2676 |
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barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy.
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 23,401
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sorry mom sent it to me and thought.... yeh she did that thinkin thing again. IT was late and I was tired and and and...
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"like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt |
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04-23-2009, 09:33 AM
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#2677 |
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Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya?
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 21,206
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Awww, it's alright...just giving you the business. [/beavercleaver]
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A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby |
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04-23-2009, 09:34 AM
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#2678 |
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The future is unwritten
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 71,105
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You're a beaver cleaver?
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The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump. |
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04-23-2009, 09:52 AM
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#2679 |
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Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya?
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 21,206
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No, that's you. They don't call you Hatchet Cock for nothing.
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A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby |
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04-23-2009, 09:56 PM
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#2680 |
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Blatantly Homosapien
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 6,200
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....oooohhhh.... she said hatchet.
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Please type slowly. I can't read very fast............... and no holy water, please. |
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04-23-2009, 10:13 PM
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#2681 | |
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Master Dwellar
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 4,412
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Quote:
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Laugh and the world laughs with you; cry and the world laughs AT you. |
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04-23-2009, 11:59 PM
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#2682 |
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When Do I Get Virtual Unreality?
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Raytown, Missouri
Posts: 12,719
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I wish I could talk Shaw into harvesting *my* wood.
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"To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog |
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04-24-2009, 02:59 AM
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#2683 | |
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The Un-Tuckian
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: South Central...KY that is
Posts: 39,517
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Quote:
Little Johnny said "Gee, he got ya right in the cunt didn't he?"
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 These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off. |
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04-24-2009, 07:28 AM
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#2684 |
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Blatantly Homosapien
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 6,200
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__________________
Please type slowly. I can't read very fast............... and no holy water, please. |
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04-24-2009, 09:41 AM
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#2685 | |
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Master Dwellar
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 4,412
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Quote:
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Laugh and the world laughs with you; cry and the world laughs AT you. |
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