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05-25-2010, 02:34 AM
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#376 |
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Pithy Euphemist
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 19
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Marriage quotes
Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence--a life sentence. Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters. Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the man's eyes. Marriage certificate is just another word for a work permit. Marriage is not just a having a wife, but also worries inherited forever. Marriage requires a man to prepare 4 types of "rings": * The Engagement Ring * The Wedding Ring * The Suffe-Ring * The Endu-Ring |
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05-25-2010, 10:36 AM
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#377 |
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Professor
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Brest (FRANCE)
Posts: 1,837
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A man walks into a sex shop and tells the woman behind the counter he's looking for a blow up doll.
The woman asks "Would you like a christian or muslim doll?" Confused the man says "What's the difference?" "Well," replies the woman, "the muslim one blows herself up!"
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"War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." - Ambrose Bierce |
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05-26-2010, 07:42 AM
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#378 |
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The Un-Tuckian
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: South Central...KY that is
Posts: 39,517
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Mommy, Mommy, what happened to all your scabs?
Shut up, and eat your corn flakes.
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 These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off. |
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05-26-2010, 10:28 AM
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#379 |
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Professor
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Brest (FRANCE)
Posts: 1,837
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Who were the world's fastest readers?
The World Trade Center employees. Reason: They can go through dozens of stories in less than 10 seconds.
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"War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." - Ambrose Bierce |
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05-27-2010, 09:19 AM
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#380 |
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Master of the Domain
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 225
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On one fine night, Charlie Chaplin went to fancy dress competition............He won seventh prize!!!
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smoke on the water |
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05-28-2010, 05:49 AM
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#381 |
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Professor
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Brest (FRANCE)
Posts: 1,837
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Daddy, I need to poo.
NO Daddy, I need to poo. NO Daddy, I need to poo. OK, I'll take my dick out.
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"War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." - Ambrose Bierce |
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05-28-2010, 06:13 AM
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#382 |
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The Un-Tuckian
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: South Central...KY that is
Posts: 39,517
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Well, it did say tasteless jokes.
__________________
These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off. |
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05-28-2010, 06:41 AM
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#383 |
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Professor
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Brest (FRANCE)
Posts: 1,837
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That's why I posted it here.
And although it's tasteless, I dare say it leaves a shitty taste in the mouth.
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"War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." - Ambrose Bierce |
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05-28-2010, 10:17 AM
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#384 | |
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Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya?
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 21,206
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Quote:
I think you won the thread! 
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A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby |
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05-28-2010, 10:49 AM
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#385 |
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Professor
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Brest (FRANCE)
Posts: 1,837
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I'm happy to have brought you a bit of fun.
I'm usually a winner when it comes to tasteless jokes  even at my own expense
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"War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." - Ambrose Bierce |
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05-30-2010, 09:37 AM
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#386 |
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Professor
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Brest (FRANCE)
Posts: 1,837
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Daddy,Daddy,why is Mummy running right and left through the garden?
Shut the fuck up and give me another magazine!
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"War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." - Ambrose Bierce |
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05-31-2010, 03:06 AM
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#387 |
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Pithy Euphemist
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 19
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A Chew Toy For The First Dog
Among those who will receive gifts from the Obamas this Christmas is Bo, the First Dog. The Obamas will give Bo a chew toy. Coincidentally, this is also the same present they will give Joe Biden. |
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06-01-2010, 12:53 AM
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#388 |
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Master Locutor
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Iowa
Posts: 155
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Whats the difference between pink and purple? Your grip.
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06-01-2010, 03:13 AM
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#389 |
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Professor
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Brest (FRANCE)
Posts: 1,837
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A young boy comes to his father:
"Daddy, I've just made love!" "Oh! Really?! And when will you do it again?" "Well, I don't really know, my asshole is very sore..."
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"War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." - Ambrose Bierce |
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06-01-2010, 11:19 AM
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#390 |
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Professor
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Brest (FRANCE)
Posts: 1,837
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Q: What do you do after shaking the hand of a leper?
A: You give it back
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"War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." - Ambrose Bierce |
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