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10-20-2010, 05:18 AM
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#3721 |
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Professor
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Brest (FRANCE)
Posts: 1,837
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I was reading in the paper today about this midget that got pickpocketed.
How could anyone stoop so low?
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"War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." - Ambrose Bierce |
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10-20-2010, 07:19 AM
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#3722 | |
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Master Dwellar
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 4,412
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Quote:
The headline read "Small Medium at Large.".
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Laugh and the world laughs with you; cry and the world laughs AT you. |
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10-20-2010, 08:33 AM
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#3723 |
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Professor
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Brest (FRANCE)
Posts: 1,837
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The Top 10 reasons why a handgun is better than a woman
#10 - You can trade an old .44 for two new .22s. #9 - You can keep one handgun at home and have another for when you're on the road. #8 - If you admire a friend's handgun, and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times. #7 - Your primary handgun doesn't mind if you have a backup. #6 - Your handgun will stay with you even if you're out of ammo. #5 - A handgun doesn't take up a lot of closet space. #4 - Handguns function normally every day of the month. #3 - A handgun doesn't ask "Do these new grips make me look fat?" #2 - A handgun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it. AND THE NUMBER ONE WAY THAT A HANDGUN IS BETTER THAN A WOMAN . . . #1 - You can buy a silencer for a handgun.
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"War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." - Ambrose Bierce |
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10-20-2010, 09:15 PM
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#3724 |
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I hear them call the tide
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Perpetual Chaos
Posts: 30,852
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The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart |
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10-21-2010, 08:55 PM
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#3725 |
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Back in 10
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 3,684
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NSFW
*
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Speaking simply... do not confuse this with having a simple mind. |
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10-21-2010, 09:32 PM
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#3726 |
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I'm still a jerk
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Little Mexico
Posts: 1,817
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"Without deviation from the norm progress is not possible." - Frank Zappa It is the ignorance of ignorance that lead to the death of knowledge The Virgin Mary does not weep for her son, for he is in paradise. She weeps for the world , for we are in suffering. |
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10-22-2010, 03:01 PM
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#3727 |
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Master Dwellar
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 4,412
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A man is walking home alone late one foggy Halloween night, when behind him he hears:
BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him. BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him. FASTER... FASTER... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP..... He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him. However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping. clappity-BUMP... clappity-BUMP... clappity-BUMP... on his heels, as the terrified man runs. Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, he locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps. With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door. Bumping and clapping toward him. The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup! Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket... and, (hopefully you're ready for this!!!) The coffin stops.
__________________
Laugh and the world laughs with you; cry and the world laughs AT you. |
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10-22-2010, 03:05 PM
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#3728 |
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Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya?
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 21,206
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Oldie but goodie, Sheldon!
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A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby |
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10-24-2010, 09:56 PM
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#3729 |
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To shreds, you say?
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet!
Posts: 18,449
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For The Grammar Nazis
This shit makes me laugh
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The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs |
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10-24-2010, 09:57 PM
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#3730 |
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To shreds, you say?
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet!
Posts: 18,449
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.
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The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs |
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10-24-2010, 09:59 PM
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#3731 |
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To shreds, you say?
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet!
Posts: 18,449
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.,
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The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs |
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10-24-2010, 10:00 PM
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#3732 |
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To shreds, you say?
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet!
Posts: 18,449
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,,
__________________
The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs |
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10-24-2010, 10:00 PM
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#3733 |
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To shreds, you say?
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet!
Posts: 18,449
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.,.
__________________
The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs |
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10-25-2010, 05:44 AM
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#3734 |
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Professor
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Brest (FRANCE)
Posts: 1,837
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It seems to me that English has the same problems as French.
More and more people loose their spelling because they're lazy and refuse to exert themselves. I once saw the French word "orthographe" ("spelling" in English) spelled "ortograf". the writer was a French student in French literature. Not so funny...
__________________
"War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." - Ambrose Bierce |
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10-25-2010, 09:42 AM
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#3735 |
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™
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 27,717
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My 3rd grade son is learning the its, it's, your, you're rules this week. He mostly gets them. This is 3rd grade stuff.
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