About at my journey's end - Page 2

Trilby · 05-23-2011, 07:47 AM

oh, my. I'm sorry to hear it.

I like you, footy. I think you're swell. Take some time and think and breathe and de-compress. Divorce isn't the heaven some people think it is....get some time and space.

classicman · 05-23-2011, 08:42 AM

Take a deep breath. . . then a few more. There is so much to think about before going there. Bri has it right - it is not the heaven some think it is. It creates a whole new host of problems - just a couple -2 households, double all bills -split time with/without kids, parenting...

jimhelm · 05-23-2011, 09:06 AM

aw fuck, bro.

I should have a bunch of advice for you, but I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing or why anymore. Would not go back if given the chance at this point, but if I could go back in time and fix it before the damage was irreparable, I'd do that foshizzle. Whatever you decide to do, and if you want to, count on me when you need to talk to someone. I'll email my cell #, call me anytime.

Undertoad · 05-23-2011, 12:05 PM

Quote:

I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing or why anymore

Good times is what! You have teh skillz to find somebody who actually likes you and stuff. Your time is now if it isn't already. So it will be with footer, after a time.

skysidhe · 05-23-2011, 12:28 PM

for the pains.

That's all I know.

Spexxvet · 05-23-2011, 12:37 PM

I wonder if she does something at her mother's which she is ashamed of. Causing an argument with you may justify her behavior at her mother's. Or perhaps she is upset that you all get along well without her. Just thinking.

Gravdigr · 05-23-2011, 12:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by footfootfoot

Every time homegirl comes back from a visit with her mom she is a mental wreck AND a total bitch to me and the kids. I've tried talking with her about this many many times. Denial is not just a river in Africa.

Ready to throw in the towel today...

Quote:

Originally Posted by footfootfoot

like get divorced and break up.

Dr. Gravdigr prescribes weed. In copious quantities.

Maybe you could try giving her some alone-time when she returns from MIL's? You know give her time to unwind, decompress?

BigV · 05-23-2011, 01:49 PM

I don't know what to say, brother.

There is real pain in your voice and that hurts me to hear it. Not like your shoulder which was painful but had a "solution". Part of me wants (urgently) to *fix* this for you and yours. Ha... I know I can't fix it. Furthermore, you know how to "fix" it, if it is "fixable" at all. Buddy, you've put me in a difficult position here!

So, I'll listen instead. That I can do and do well. Talk on, and if you accidentally say a question I *can* answer, my inner fixer will leap at the opportunity. He knows a lot about this stuff. For now, he's safely gagged. Please, continue.

Stormieweather · 05-23-2011, 02:20 PM

Is she aware that this is a 'dealbreaker'? Have any solutions been discussed or thrown out there?

glatt · 05-23-2011, 02:24 PM

I'm sorry foot. You are a good guy, and don't deserve this. I don't have any advice for you. I just hope it all works out and you can avoid the divorce. I've seen people manage divorce well, and come out the other side much better off and happier. I've also seen people really get destroyed by it. The financial side of divorce can be absolutely devastating for everyone involved, especially when kids are involved. I'm not saying you should stay in a bad marriage to save a buck, but you should try everything to save it before you cross that bridge.

footfootfoot · 05-23-2011, 02:30 PM

Hey, thanks everyone for the outpouring of love and empathy.

I talked to my brain tightener today about it and have some strategies in place. Need some more time to cool off and clarify before I can talk about it.

The only Q I can get to right now is that this lasts for a few days, varies in severity and has been going on for as long as I've known her.

There are mitigating circumstances, and countless promises to deal with it and a belief that she is dealing with it, but I think it is not enough.

more later.

monster · 05-23-2011, 02:34 PM

good luck, yard.

HungLikeJesus · 05-23-2011, 02:37 PM

I recently heard about an elderly couple that were getting a divorce. He's 99 and she's 95.

Someone asked them why they want to get a divorce after being married so long.

They said, "We wanted to wait until the kids were dead."

footfootfoot · 05-23-2011, 03:57 PM

@ glatt: I once asked a lawyer why is divorce so expensive? Ha answered, Because it's worth it.

and then I laughed.

and HLJ, that is one of my favorite jokes

Gravdigr · 05-23-2011, 05:02 PM

Love is grand.

Divorce is ten grand.

05-23-2011, 07:47 AM	#16
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	oh, my. I'm sorry to hear it. I like you, footy. I think you're swell. Take some time and think and breathe and de-compress. Divorce isn't the heaven some people think it is....get some time and space. __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

05-23-2011, 08:42 AM	#17
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	Take a deep breath. . . then a few more. There is so much to think about before going there. Bri has it right - it is not the heaven some think it is. It creates a whole new host of problems - just a couple -2 households, double all bills -split time with/without kids, parenting... __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

05-23-2011, 09:06 AM	#18
jimhelm a beautiful fool Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: 39.939705 Posts: 4,504	aw fuck, bro. I should have a bunch of advice for you, but I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing or why anymore. Would not go back if given the chance at this point, but if I could go back in time and fix it before the damage was irreparable, I'd do that foshizzle. Whatever you decide to do, and if you want to, count on me when you need to talk to someone. I'll email my cell #, call me anytime. __________________ There's a Shadow just behind me. Shrouding every step I take. Making every promise empty, pointing every finger at me. _tool

05-23-2011, 12:37 PM	#21
Spexxvet Makes some feel uncomfortable Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 10,346	I wonder if she does something at her mother's which she is ashamed of. Causing an argument with you may justify her behavior at her mother's. Or perhaps she is upset that you all get along well without her. Just thinking. __________________ "I'm certainly free, nay compelled, to spread the gospel of Spex. " - xoxoxoBruce

05-23-2011, 01:49 PM	#23
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	I don't know what to say, brother. There is real pain in your voice and that hurts me to hear it. Not like your shoulder which was painful but had a "solution". Part of me wants (urgently) to fix this for you and yours. Ha... I know I can't fix it. Furthermore, you know how to "fix" it, if it is "fixable" at all. Buddy, you've put me in a difficult position here! So, I'll listen instead. That I can do and do well. Talk on, and if you accidentally say a question I can answer, my inner fixer will leap at the opportunity. He knows a lot about this stuff. For now, he's safely gagged. Please, continue. __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.

05-23-2011, 12:28 PM	#20
skysidhe ~~Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.~~ Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 6,828	for the pains. That's all I know.

05-23-2011, 02:20 PM	#24
Stormieweather Wearing her bitch boots Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Floriduh Posts: 1,181	Is she aware that this is a 'dealbreaker'? Have any solutions been discussed or thrown out there? __________________ "First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then you win." - Mahatma Gandhi

05-23-2011, 02:24 PM	#25
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	I'm sorry foot. You are a good guy, and don't deserve this. I don't have any advice for you. I just hope it all works out and you can avoid the divorce. I've seen people manage divorce well, and come out the other side much better off and happier. I've also seen people really get destroyed by it. The financial side of divorce can be absolutely devastating for everyone involved, especially when kids are involved. I'm not saying you should stay in a bad marriage to save a buck, but you should try everything to save it before you cross that bridge.

05-23-2011, 02:30 PM	#26
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	Hey, thanks everyone for the outpouring of love and empathy. I talked to my brain tightener today about it and have some strategies in place. Need some more time to cool off and clarify before I can talk about it. The only Q I can get to right now is that this lasts for a few days, varies in severity and has been going on for as long as I've known her. There are mitigating circumstances, and countless promises to deal with it and a belief that she is dealing with it, but I think it is not enough. more later. __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

05-23-2011, 02:34 PM	#27
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	good luck, yard. __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

05-23-2011, 02:37 PM	#28
HungLikeJesus Only looks like a disaster tourist Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: above 7,000 feet Posts: 7,208	I recently heard about an elderly couple that were getting a divorce. He's 99 and she's 95. Someone asked them why they want to get a divorce after being married so long. They said, "We wanted to wait until the kids were dead." __________________ Keep Your Bodies Off My Lawn SteveDallas's Random Thread Picker.

05-23-2011, 03:57 PM	#29
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	@ glatt: I once asked a lawyer why is divorce so expensive? Ha answered, Because it's worth it. and then I laughed. and HLJ, that is one of my favorite jokes __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

05-23-2011, 05:02 PM	#30
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	Love is grand. Divorce is ten grand. __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

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