This really sucks.

monster · 03-23-2018, 12:19 PM

that is all.

Clodfobble · 03-23-2018, 12:25 PM

It does. And will.

But you don't. You will take this thing and spit in its face and stomp on its attempts to hurt you. The battle is long, but my money's on you.

Griff · 03-23-2018, 02:33 PM

subscribed

fargon · 03-23-2018, 03:21 PM

ditto.

Pico and ME · 03-23-2018, 03:45 PM

It's so hard, I know. My divorce felt like a death and not just of him. It impacts EVERYTHING. I can still feel what that dark fog felt like. I wish you sunshine soon.

Glinda · 03-23-2018, 04:00 PM

I sympathise. Ever since my folks passed last summer, I've been slogging through all manner of fuckery trying to get all their accounts/memberships/etc., settled, closed, paid, reimbursed, renamed, re-addressed, and any other frickity-frickin' stupid thing you can think of (and a million more you wouldn't come up with).

Living in the aftermath does officially suck.

Word to the wise: do everything you possibly can right now to get your shit lined up and prepared for whomever follows you. Handling the minutiae of someone else's life is never easy (fuck bureaucracy and red tape!), but the more you can do now, the better.

limey · 03-23-2018, 07:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by monster

that is all.

Yes. It does. But you will get through it. But fuckit, it certainly sucks right now. X

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

BigV · 03-25-2018, 01:28 AM

Sorry monster

You're right, it really sucks.

monster · 05-01-2018, 09:49 PM

and crash...... this is so stupid. I loved the movie Ghost (who didn't). Unchained Melody was one of the songs at our wedding. That neato priest I found on Youtube singing Every body hurts carried on autoplaying in the background into two contestants singing the same song I had never heard of before but the lyrics caught my attention.

It's from the musical of Ghost (didn't even know there was one). This is how I feel. I keep finding things of his and deal with them like he was still here. Because. I don't know. It's not like I haven't thrown stuff of his away. but most is still here

lumberjim · 05-02-2018, 06:00 AM

Sorry, buddy. The shock is wearing off. The permanace sets in. I can't offer any useful advice because I haven't gone through what you're going through. Wish I could, glad I can't.

Only thing I can say is sorry. Wish I could offer a hug....

limey · 05-02-2018, 07:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by monster

and crash...... I keep finding things of his and deal with them like he was still here. Because. I don't know. It's not like I haven't thrown stuff of his away. but most is still here

Keep the stuff you want to keep. Get rid of the stuff you want to get rid of. If you have any doubts keep it for now. It's a long, l-o-o-o-ng process, I'm afraid. When we'd just lost my brother there were all sorts of things we just couldn't imagine getting rid of because well, just because (and we didn't even live with him and his stuff at the time). As time passed we have begun to feel we can let some of it go, but some still stays. Is used. Or just looked at now and again.
Hugs to you xxx

Griff · 05-02-2018, 07:06 AM

This does suck.

Flint · 05-02-2018, 01:09 PM

It sucks HARD. Like smashing your face into a solid slab of concrete. It's that immovable. My advice is, learn to enjoy having your face smashed into a solid slab of concrete. It's not working for me, but I don't have any better ideas.

monster · 05-02-2018, 06:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by limey

Keep the stuff you want to keep. Get rid of the stuff you want to get rid of. If you have any doubts keep it for now. It's a long, l-o-o-o-ng process, I'm afraid. When we'd just lost my brother there were all sorts of things we just couldn't imagine getting rid of because well, just because (and we didn't even live with him and his stuff at the time). As time passed we have begun to feel we can let some of it go, but some still stays. Is used. Or just looked at now and again.
Hugs to you xxx

Yeah, I'm just doing it as I can be bothered/the mood takes me. But I occasionally find myself just dealing with things as if he'll use them again rather than deciding whether I want to toss it now or leave it for another day.

I miss him.

limey · 05-03-2018, 12:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by monster

... But I occasionally find myself just dealing with things as if he'll use them again rather than deciding whether I want to toss it now or leave it for another day.

But that's fine. You can't keep on making big decisions about this stuff all the time. Just putting things away without deciding anything is also good.

Quote:

Originally Posted by monster

I miss him.

Yes. x

03-23-2018, 12:19 PM	#1
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	This really sucks. that is all. __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

03-23-2018, 12:25 PM	#2
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	It does. And will. But you don't. You will take this thing and spit in its face and stomp on its attempts to hurt you. The battle is long, but my money's on you. __________________ My book My other book My spirit animal

03-23-2018, 02:33 PM	#3
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	subscribed __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

03-23-2018, 03:21 PM	#4
fargon Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: La Crosse, WI Posts: 8,924	ditto. __________________ Annoy the ones that ignore you!!! I live a blessed life I Love my Country, I Fear the Government!!! Heavily medicated for the good of mankind.

03-23-2018, 03:45 PM	#5
Pico and ME Are you knock-kneed? Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Middle Hoosierland Posts: 3,549	It's so hard, I know. My divorce felt like a death and not just of him. It impacts EVERYTHING. I can still feel what that dark fog felt like. I wish you sunshine soon. __________________ Jesse LaGreca in 2012 “Seven Deadly Sins: Wealth without work, Pleasure without conscience, Science without humanity, Knowledge without character, Politics without principle, Commerce without morality, Worship without sacrifice.” – Mahatma Gandhi

03-23-2018, 04:00 PM	#6
Glinda Fucktard Resistance League Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: 1.14 acres of heaven Posts: 1,512	I sympathise. Ever since my folks passed last summer, I've been slogging through all manner of fuckery trying to get all their accounts/memberships/etc., settled, closed, paid, reimbursed, renamed, re-addressed, and any other frickity-frickin' stupid thing you can think of (and a million more you wouldn't come up with). Living in the aftermath does officially suck. *Word to the wise:* do everything you possibly can right now to get your shit lined up and prepared for whomever follows you. Handling the minutiae of someone else's life is never easy (fuck bureaucracy and red tape!), but the more you can do now, the better. {{monster}}

03-25-2018, 01:28 AM	#8
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	Sorry monster You're right, it really sucks. __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.

05-01-2018, 09:49 PM	#9
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	and crash...... this is so stupid. I loved the movie Ghost (who didn't). Unchained Melody was one of the songs at our wedding. That neato priest I found on Youtube singing Every body hurts carried on autoplaying in the background into two contestants singing the same song I had never heard of before but the lyrics caught my attention. It's from the musical of Ghost (didn't even know there was one). This is how I feel. I keep finding things of his and deal with them like he was still here. Because. I don't know. It's not like I haven't thrown stuff of his away. but most is still here __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

05-02-2018, 06:00 AM	#10
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	Sorry, buddy. The shock is wearing off. The permanace sets in. I can't offer any useful advice because I haven't gone through what you're going through. Wish I could, glad I can't. Only thing I can say is sorry. Wish I could offer a hug.... __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

05-02-2018, 07:06 AM	#12
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	This does suck. __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

05-02-2018, 01:09 PM	#13
Flint Snowflake Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Dystopia Posts: 13,136	It sucks HARD. Like smashing your face into a solid slab of concrete. It's that immovable. My advice is, learn to enjoy having your face smashed into a solid slab of concrete. It's not working for me, but I don't have any better ideas. __________________ **************** There's a level of facility that everyone needs to accomplish, and from there it's a matter of deciding for yourself how important ultra-facility is to your expression. ... I found, like Joseph Campbell said, if you just follow whatever gives you a little joy or excitement or awe, then you're on the right track. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Terry Bozzio**

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)