Job interviews

Nothing But Net · 08-16-2004, 09:17 PM

I know a lot of you are in flux with job situations these days. I'm pretty secure in my position at the time, but you never know. I'm about ready to move on after 14 years.

I haven't been on a job interview in a long time, but I do remember the frustration, humiliation, and heartache that goes along. There always comes that time when you know the job isn't going to be yours.

May I suggest some parting gifts for the hiring authority for when that happens?

CorpMoFo: We feel you may be overqualified for this position.
You: What if I had a partial lobotomy?

CorpMoFo: We really want someone with a college diploma.
You: Why, are you running out of toilet paper?

CorpMoFo: You failed the drug screen.
You: Sorry, man. It fell out of the pipe in the car.

You guys should know what to do.

SteveDallas · 08-17-2004, 02:09 AM

Well my favorite was (and this was real)

~1 hour phone interview, which I didn't think had gone badly, then,
CorpMoFo: OK we'll be in touch. But I have to tell you I don't usually hire people out of higher education jobs. They just don't understand business.
Me: Then wasn't it a waste of your valuable business time to sit there and talk to me for an hour?

Needless to say I didn't get the job but also needless to say I don't think I was going to anyway!

russotto · 08-17-2004, 01:03 PM

Female CorpMoFo: I'm sorry, but we will not be extending you an offer at this time
You: Oh, in that case, NICE TITS!

CorpMoFo: After asking you for a paper copy of your resume because he couldn't print one out because his computer was down -- "I'm sorry, but we need someone with more Microsoft/.NET experience."
You: Why, don't you think experience with computers that WORK is relevant?

Trilby · 08-17-2004, 01:16 PM

Nurse recruiter: PLEASE come and work for us! We offer terrible hours, supervisors who believe in their own divinity, nasty doctors who get to say all kinds of things to you with impunity and hardly any pay for your sweat and blood! It's an ADVENTURE! And we CARE about our patients here! Not like those other hospitals!

Me: runs away

wolf · 08-17-2004, 01:20 PM

Yeah, but did they offer you the $1000 signing bonus? (lots of the general hospitals around here are doing that ... if the specialty is one where folks don't want to work because of the stress or liability insurance issue, like maternity, the signing bonus can go as high as $2K).

Trilby · 08-17-2004, 01:29 PM

yeah, wolf, they did. When I worked for the State Psych. Hospt I got a 5K sign-on bonus...of course, I also got to rub elbows with NGRI (Not Guilty Reason Insanity) folks----wow. THAT was fun. I am toooo much an emotional sponge to hang out in that kind of atmosphere. I don't have any emotional protection. Three years of psych and I was cooked. I don't know how you do it.

wolf · 08-17-2004, 01:36 PM

I leave my work at work. I also don't have any illusions about my ability to actually help people. They either help themselves or they don't. I came to psych later than a lot of the people that work with me. They went in straight out of college or nursing school. I kind of eased into it. Beyond that, I'm not sure.

Trilby · 08-17-2004, 01:45 PM

[quote=wolf]I leave my work at work. [quote]

I tried very hard to do that but I failed misreably. I was overwhelmed by the sheer need and depth of illness. Some of these people had NO living skills. NONE. I know you know.

The sociopaths and the borderline personalities really got to me. I'd always try to look at them compassionately, humanize them. I was always sorry that I did. I was becoming so hard, cynical and bitter. It was either quit or become a typical state employee-!

wolf · 08-17-2004, 01:56 PM

See, there's the problem. You tried to humanize them. You can't euthanize the puppies if you think they're cute.

Borderlines suck the life out of you, if you let them. Even if you don't, they are exhausting to deal with.

Troubleshooter · 08-17-2004, 02:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wolf

See, there's the problem. You tried to humanize them. You can't euthanize the puppies if you think they're cute.

Borderlines suck the life out of you, if you let them. Even if you don't, they are exhausting to deal with.

*insert personality disorder here*s all suck the life out of you if you let them.

Isolating them from society doesn't leave them in the school that will teach them best.

Trilby · 08-17-2004, 02:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Troubleshooter

*insert personality disorder here*s all suck the life out of you if you let them.

Isolating them from society doesn't leave them in the school that will teach them best.

Believe me when I say--society does NOT want them. That has been demonstrated to me again and again. NOBODY wants them. I am not talking about people who can be rehabilitated or "cured" or even "better"--I am talking about completely dysfunctional, unwanted, scary people. Child molesters, murderers, public masturbators, arsonists, people who REALLY< REALLY think they are divine. And some of them work out.

Troubleshooter · 08-17-2004, 03:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brianna

Believe me when I say--society does NOT want them. That has been demonstrated to me again and again. NOBODY wants them. I am not talking about people who can be rehabilitated or "cured" or even "better"--I am talking about completely dysfunctional, unwanted, scary people. Child molesters, murderers, public masturbators, arsonists, people who REALLY< REALLY think they are divine. And some of them work out.

That's why I specified Personality Disorders. The only thing they lack is motivation sufficient to behave in a way that is tolerable in society.

And I used the word tolerable specifically as well. Nobody really wants to live next to a guy who hangs by his balls from a tree and flagelates himself, but is he really harming anyone?

That being said, anti-socials should, in general, be shot for being a danger to others.

As an alternative to prison, we could do Borderline Personality TV. Build a small apartment complex where the only requirement is to have BPD. You couldn't write a script that would compare with what happened in there.

lookout123 · 08-17-2004, 03:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Troubleshooter

As an alternative to prison, we could do Borderline Personality TV. Build a small apartment complex where the only requirement is to have BPD. You couldn't write a script that would compare with what happened in there.

been there, done that - CSpan has been on for a very long time.

Troubleshooter · 08-17-2004, 03:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lookout123

been there, done that - CSpan has been on for a very long time.

Oh damn man...

lookout123 · 08-17-2004, 03:36 PM

i couldn't resist.

08-16-2004, 09:17 PM	#1
Nothing But Net Professor Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Spring, Texas Posts: 1,481	Job interviews I know a lot of you are in flux with job situations these days. I'm pretty secure in my position at the time, but you never know. I'm about ready to move on after 14 years. I haven't been on a job interview in a long time, but I do remember the frustration, humiliation, and heartache that goes along. There always comes that time when you know the job isn't going to be yours. May I suggest some parting gifts for the hiring authority for when that happens? CorpMoFo: We feel you may be overqualified for this position. You: What if I had a partial lobotomy? CorpMoFo: We really want someone with a college diploma. You: Why, are you running out of toilet paper? CorpMoFo: You failed the drug screen. You: Sorry, man. It fell out of the pipe in the car. You guys should know what to do.

08-17-2004, 01:03 PM	#3
russotto Professor Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 1,788	I'm never gonna get a new job Female CorpMoFo: I'm sorry, but we will not be extending you an offer at this time You: Oh, in that case, NICE TITS! CorpMoFo: After asking you for a paper copy of your resume because he couldn't print one out because his computer was down -- "I'm sorry, but we need someone with more Microsoft/.NET experience." You: Why, don't you think experience with computers that WORK is relevant?

08-17-2004, 01:20 PM	#5
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	Yeah, but did they offer you the $1000 signing bonus? (lots of the general hospitals around here are doing that ... if the specialty is one where folks don't want to work because of the stress or liability insurance issue, like maternity, the signing bonus can go as high as $2K). __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

08-17-2004, 01:36 PM	#7
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	I leave my work at work. I also don't have any illusions about my ability to actually help people. They either help themselves or they don't. I came to psych later than a lot of the people that work with me. They went in straight out of college or nursing school. I kind of eased into it. Beyond that, I'm not sure. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

08-17-2004, 01:56 PM	#9
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	See, there's the problem. You tried to humanize them. You can't euthanize the puppies if you think they're cute. Borderlines suck the life out of you, if you let them. Even if you don't, they are exhausting to deal with. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

08-17-2004, 02:09 AM	#2
SteveDallas Your Bartender Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Philly Burbs, PA Posts: 7,651	Well my favorite was (and this was real) ~1 hour phone interview, which I didn't think had gone badly, then, CorpMoFo: OK we'll be in touch. But I have to tell you I don't usually hire people out of higher education jobs. They just don't understand business. Me: Then wasn't it a waste of your valuable business time to sit there and talk to me for an hour? Needless to say I didn't get the job but also needless to say I don't think I was going to anyway!

08-17-2004, 01:16 PM	#4
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	Nurse recruiter: PLEASE come and work for us! We offer terrible hours, supervisors who believe in their own divinity, nasty doctors who get to say all kinds of things to you with impunity and hardly any pay for your sweat and blood! It's an ADVENTURE! And we CARE about our patients here! Not like those other hospitals! Me: runs away

08-17-2004, 01:29 PM	#6
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	yeah, wolf, they did. When I worked for the State Psych. Hospt I got a 5K sign-on bonus...of course, I also got to rub elbows with NGRI (Not Guilty Reason Insanity) folks----wow. THAT was fun. I am toooo much an emotional sponge to hang out in that kind of atmosphere. I don't have any emotional protection. Three years of psych and I was cooked. I don't know how you do it.

08-17-2004, 01:45 PM	#8
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	[quote=wolf]I leave my work at work. [quote] I tried very hard to do that but I failed misreably. I was overwhelmed by the sheer need and depth of illness. Some of these people had NO living skills. NONE. I know you know. The sociopaths and the borderline personalities really got to me. I'd always try to look at them compassionately, humanize them. I was always sorry that I did. I was becoming so hard, cynical and bitter. It was either quit or become a typical state employee-!

08-17-2004, 03:36 PM	#15
lookout123 changed his status to single Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Right behind you. No, the other side. Posts: 10,308	i couldn't resist. __________________ Getting knocked down is no sin, it's not getting back up that's the sin

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