Merry F'in Christmas - I want a divorce. - Page 10

lookout123 · 01-10-2006, 08:50 PM

our travel schedule last year included New Orleans, San Diego, Las Vegas, Flagstaff, Mexico (multiple times), 2 cruises, spain, italy, and france. yesterday she let me know that those would have been fun with someone she loved. 10 minutes later she apologized and was the girl i walked through Rome with. Today she says that she has never loved me.

oh, yeah, our itinerary for '06 was Disney, San Diego, Vegas, West Indies, Virgin Islands, Cabo San Lucas, another cruise, and strangely enough... a week in Paris.

i don't think that being stuck at home is the real problem.

01-10-2006, 08:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brianna

I am not assessing anyone via the cellar via second hand information. I am simply responding to what lookout has posted and trying to be supportive...

Actually, I think Bri has a good point. Its pretty hard to diagnose someone third hand via the Internet, and the two people here most qualified to make a real diagnosis have been wise enough not to.

I've thrown out some ideas trying to be helpful, Lookout, but you need the advise of a professional in 3D land. From what you describe, you are currently the only actual grown-up in the scenario. Good thing for your son that he has you. Please don't let anything change that and good luck whatever you ultimately decide to do!

WabUfvot5 · 01-10-2006, 10:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clodfobble

For what it's worth, I strongly agree with your move to get the alcohol out. My stepmother's condition would get much more frequent and unpredictable when she would occasionally decide to step off the wagon for a few weeks.

Interesting. Usually bipolars drink a lot because it smooths out the highs and lows they experience. Of course anybody can get really sloshed, which is what Mrs. lookout could be doing.

The others are right that you can't diagnose over this medium but it would be wise to note if her moods are cycling faster or slower when she doesn't have access to alcohol.

lookout123 · 01-10-2006, 11:17 PM

she seems to be cycling slower but going more deeply negative and her highs aren't as high since she isn't drinking - only 3 days at this point.

wolf · 01-11-2006, 01:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lookout123

i don't think that being stuck at home is the real problem.

If you're having relationship problems at home, they remain with you on the road.

Having them in a country where relatively few people speak English has the potential to magnify rather than reduce the problems.

WabUfvot5 · 01-11-2006, 06:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lookout123

she seems to be cycling slower but going more deeply negative and her highs aren't as high since she isn't drinking - only 3 days at this point.

Can you be sure she isn't drinking? I mean you can't watch her all the time, but would you know if she did drink via signs?

There are many different types of bipolar disorder and sometimes they can be combined with other issues. In short you need a professional diagnosis and even then who knows if it's really BPD.

Quote:

Originally Posted by lookout123

one of her sisters has been diagnosed and prescribed for chemical imbalance issues, the other has the same issues, but undiagnosed. (or so the family whispers) we don't live anywhere near them though, so i don't know what their everyday behavior looks like.

This would certainly fit especially since BPD is more common in women and seems to be a genetic thing. I'm no shrink but nobody here can tell me there isn't something off-kilter in her head. That quote of yours is the key to all this from where I sit (in a cushy blue chair).

Griff · 01-11-2006, 08:38 PM

Is there no way to let her out of the cage for a while, let her see the wide world can be pretty sucky, and reel her back in wiser?

lookout123 · 01-11-2006, 08:46 PM

very very low likelihood that she will come back. she is a very attractive, successful woman with an outgoing personality. if she is out on the prowl, the "i can have him anytime i want guy", isn't likely to entice her.

i'm pretty down right now. i deserve to have someone love me. i firmly believe she has a chemical problem, but she is convinced she doesn't so there isn't really anything i can do.

Griff · 01-11-2006, 08:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lookout123

i deserve to have someone love me.

You are damn right! Don't forget that.

WabUfvot5 · 01-11-2006, 09:10 PM

Well shit, if you think the court would hand her the kid then you have an obligation to raise the issue she is unfit unless she gets evaluated.

lookout123 · 01-11-2006, 09:16 PM

other than me complaining to you all, there is no documented (or documentable) evidence of her being unfit. she has never had legal problems,etc.

WabUfvot5 · 01-12-2006, 12:17 AM

Find out what her sister was diagnosed with and if any others in the family had similar problems. That could be enough to get the ball rolling if an objection was raised in court. If it comes to that (and I hope it doesn't) what have you got to lose?

01-12-2006, 01:04 AM

Well, Lookout, you have this entire thread which has been going on since December 9th. You have documentation of your bewilderment and grief over Mrs. L's actions. You have documentation of drinking episodes. You have all our concerned replies. I never thought stuff like this had much meaning, but when I posted on my internet support group about some tricks the ax murderer was playing, I was told to print out my post and the replies and show it all to the authorities. The authorities actually gave it all consideration, much to my surprise. I would again suggest that you make an appointment to see a professional, even if Mrs. L won't go. You will be able to document your concern about her actions and also show any court that you were trying to work things through and behave in a responsible fashion.

You DO deserve to be with a woman who loves you, dammit!

lookout123 · 01-13-2006, 04:54 PM

divorce.

now on to custody, property, and money arguments.

Trilby · 01-13-2006, 05:23 PM

I am so very sorry, lookout.

01-11-2006, 08:38 PM	#142
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	Is there no way to let her out of the cage for a while, let her see the wide world can be pretty sucky, and reel her back in wiser? __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

01-13-2006, 05:23 PM	#150
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	I am so very sorry, lookout. __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

01-10-2006, 08:50 PM	#136
lookout123 changed his status to single Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Right behind you. No, the other side. Posts: 10,308	our travel schedule last year included New Orleans, San Diego, Las Vegas, Flagstaff, Mexico (multiple times), 2 cruises, spain, italy, and france. yesterday she let me know that those would have been fun with someone she loved. 10 minutes later she apologized and was the girl i walked through Rome with. Today she says that she has never loved me. oh, yeah, our itinerary for '06 was Disney, San Diego, Vegas, West Indies, Virgin Islands, Cabo San Lucas, another cruise, and strangely enough... a week in Paris. i don't think that being stuck at home is the real problem.

01-10-2006, 11:17 PM	#139
lookout123 changed his status to single Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Right behind you. No, the other side. Posts: 10,308	she seems to be cycling slower but going more deeply negative and her highs aren't as high since she isn't drinking - only 3 days at this point.

01-11-2006, 08:46 PM	#143
lookout123 changed his status to single Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Right behind you. No, the other side. Posts: 10,308	very very low likelihood that she will come back. she is a very attractive, successful woman with an outgoing personality. if she is out on the prowl, the "i can have him anytime i want guy", isn't likely to entice her. i'm pretty down right now. i deserve to have someone love me. i firmly believe she has a chemical problem, but she is convinced she doesn't so there isn't really anything i can do.

01-11-2006, 09:10 PM	#145
WabUfvot5 Operations Operative Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 634	Well shit, if you think the court would hand her the kid then you have an obligation to raise the issue she is unfit unless she gets evaluated.

01-11-2006, 09:16 PM	#146
lookout123 changed his status to single Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Right behind you. No, the other side. Posts: 10,308	other than me complaining to you all, there is no documented (or documentable) evidence of her being unfit. she has never had legal problems,etc.

01-12-2006, 12:17 AM	#147
WabUfvot5 Operations Operative Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 634	Find out what her sister was diagnosed with and if any others in the family had similar problems. That could be enough to get the ball rolling if an objection was raised in court. If it comes to that (and I hope it doesn't) what have you got to lose?

01-12-2006, 01:04 AM	#148
marichiko Guest Posts: n/a	Well, Lookout, you have this entire thread which has been going on since December 9th. You have documentation of your bewilderment and grief over Mrs. L's actions. You have documentation of drinking episodes. You have all our concerned replies. I never thought stuff like this had much meaning, but when I posted on my internet support group about some tricks the ax murderer was playing, I was told to print out my post and the replies and show it all to the authorities. The authorities actually gave it all consideration, much to my surprise. I would again suggest that you make an appointment to see a professional, even if Mrs. L won't go. You will be able to document your concern about her actions and also show any court that you were trying to work things through and behave in a responsible fashion. You DO deserve to be with a woman who loves you, dammit!

01-13-2006, 04:54 PM	#149
lookout123 changed his status to single Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Right behind you. No, the other side. Posts: 10,308	divorce. now on to custody, property, and money arguments.

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