There is Something Wrong with My Chinese Delivery Place

wolf · 07-25-2007, 02:40 AM

I got this fortune cookie tonight. It didn't have the usual fortune cookie platitudes about long voyages or obscure Confucian wisdom type stuff.

It said "Stay away from the opposite sex."

It was not a specialty comedy cookie. Actually, they've been on a run of soppy positive self esteem cookies.

I thought about it awhile and realized that I must have gotten someone else's cookie, so I gave it to the homosexual when he got back into the office.

xoxoxoBruce · 07-25-2007, 02:50 AM

A queer cookie?

bluecuracao · 07-25-2007, 03:13 AM

Well, shit--you've turned someone else's cookie for you into a paradox for him.

07-25-2007, 04:31 AM

It sounds like a derivation of the general advice to stay away from temptation (e.g. advice to recovering alcoholics is to stay away from alcohol and bars, advice to adulterers is to stay away from the opposite sex. Perhaps they fancy themselves Chinese deliverers from evil.

DucksNuts · 07-25-2007, 06:04 AM

Damn good advice that, I wish I got that one wolf.

Griff · 07-25-2007, 07:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wolf

I thought about it awhile and realized that I must have gotten someone else's cookie, so I gave it to the homosexual when he got back into the office.

Well played.

Shawnee123 · 07-25-2007, 08:30 AM

Wow. They don't even try to be subtle. Just "STAY AWAY." Not avoid, not "be cautious."

That's really funny.

freshnesschronic · 07-25-2007, 09:44 AM

Two woks don't make a right.

smurfalicious · 07-25-2007, 11:56 AM

Wow. Nice encouragement to go asexual. Or homosexual. Nun or shun.

Shawnee123 · 07-25-2007, 12:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by freshnesschronic

Two woks don't make a right.

THAT was a good one!

Uisge Beatha · 07-25-2007, 12:45 PM

You know, it could have been a typo; maybe it was supposed to say "Stay away from the opposite of sex." As in, having no sex. Ah, who am I kidding? That's just a messed up cookie.

Perhaps the strangest fortune I ever received simply said "Made in the USA." I'm not joking here. That was the fortune, not some legal production ID business.

BigV · 07-25-2007, 01:03 PM

Perhaps you got one intended for domestic consumption, and not intended for export. I say it's legit. Very topical, current events-fresh.

Quote:

Citizens told to quit bad habits before Beijing Olympics
Wed Jul 25, 2007 1:54PM BST

By Nick Mulvenney

BEIJING (Reuters) - The people of Beijing have been asked to rid themselves of bad habits and clean up their language as part of improving the city's environment ahead of next year's Olympic Games.

Addressing the "ceremony of mobilisation and pledging of the people from all circles for Olympic one-year countdown", Beijing Olympic chief Liu Qi stressed it was up to individuals to ensure the city was ready to host the Games in a year and two weeks' time.

"Every citizen should behave in a civilised manner, cast away ugly habits, clean up their language, clean the environment and clean the air," Liu, president of the Beijing Organising Committee for the Olympic Games (BOCOG), said on Wednesday.

Shawnee123 · 07-25-2007, 01:06 PM

That edict should have a big impact on the monkey-riding-goat concession. Those things poo, you know.

Elspode · 07-25-2007, 01:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DucksNuts

Damn good advice that, I wish I got that one wolf.

Pish tosh. Just hang out with more worthy members of the opposite sex. Start with me.

DucksNuts · 07-25-2007, 07:39 PM

I'm going with not hanging out with any at the moment 'spode.

I'm hanging the old CFM's up for a well deserved break, but you are at the top of my list when I am...well.....back on the horse, so to speak

07-25-2007, 02:40 AM	#1
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	There is Something Wrong with My Chinese Delivery Place I got this fortune cookie tonight. It didn't have the usual fortune cookie platitudes about long voyages or obscure Confucian wisdom type stuff. It said "Stay away from the opposite sex." It was not a specialty comedy cookie. Actually, they've been on a run of soppy positive self esteem cookies. I thought about it awhile and realized that I must have gotten someone else's cookie, so I gave it to the homosexual when he got back into the office. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

07-25-2007, 02:50 AM	#2
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	A queer cookie? __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

07-25-2007, 08:30 AM	#7
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	Wow. They don't even try to be subtle. Just "STAY AWAY." Not avoid, not "be cautious." That's really funny. __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

07-25-2007, 11:56 AM	#9
smurfalicious Tool. Not the band - you are one. Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: 501 Northlake Blvd., North Palm Beach FL Posts: 329	Wow. Nice encouragement to go asexual. Or homosexual. Nun or shun. __________________

07-25-2007, 01:06 PM	#13
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	That edict should have a big impact on the monkey-riding-goat concession. Those things poo, you know. __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

07-25-2007, 03:13 AM	#3
bluecuracao in a mood, not cupcake Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Philadelphia Posts: 3,034	Well, shit--you've turned someone else's cookie for you into a paradox for him.

07-25-2007, 04:31 AM	#4
NoBoxes Guest Posts: n/a	It sounds like a derivation of the general advice to stay away from temptation (e.g. advice to recovering alcoholics is to stay away from alcohol and bars, advice to adulterers is to stay away from the opposite sex. Perhaps they fancy themselves Chinese deliverers from evil.

07-25-2007, 06:04 AM	#5
DucksNuts Bitchy Little Brat Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Queensland, Australia Posts: 5,067	Damn good advice that, I wish I got that one wolf.

07-25-2007, 09:44 AM	#8
freshnesschronic Professor Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 1,555	Two woks don't make a right.

07-25-2007, 12:45 PM	#11
Uisge Beatha Lecturer Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 945	You know, it could have been a typo; maybe it was supposed to say "Stay away from the opposite of sex." As in, having no sex. Ah, who am I kidding? That's just a messed up cookie. Perhaps the strangest fortune I ever received simply said "Made in the USA." I'm not joking here. That was the fortune, not some legal production ID business.

07-25-2007, 07:39 PM	#15
DucksNuts Bitchy Little Brat Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Queensland, Australia Posts: 5,067	I'm going with not hanging out with any at the moment 'spode. I'm hanging the old CFM's up for a well deserved break, but you are at the top of my list when I am...well.....back on the horse, so to speak Last edited by DucksNuts; 07-25-2007 at 09:13 PM. Reason: my brain wasnt working in the spelling department

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