Funny/Embarrassing things they say - Page 19

lumberjim · 11-01-2007, 04:33 PM

i knew you were going to call me predictable. REAL mature, rob.....REAL Mature.

SteveDallas · 11-01-2007, 06:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Undertoad

The smoke didn't kill it? What kinda car?

1995 Ford Escort Wagon (aka Sycamoremobile)

R I P

Undertoad · 11-01-2007, 07:33 PM

What are the "related issues" and how much you want fer it?

ViennaWaits · 11-05-2007, 11:18 PM

First let me say that Ifound this thread just tonight and have read every single post. Hugely amusing! I love it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jinx

Last night, a ghoul in the haunted house jumped out and scared the crap out of my nephew (7)... so he gave him the finger.

When my ex's youngest was appx 2 years old, I took her into work with me one day to pick up my check. I sat her in the dispatcher's window and introduced her with a huge so-proud-I-could-puke grin. The dispatcher reached out her hand and sweetly said "So nice to meet you, BethAnn." To which my beautiful step-daughter replied with a raised middle finger.

I could have killed the ex. In hindsight, I shoulda.

Another night, we were having dinner with his parents at a nice restaurant in our "Sunday Best" to celebrate someone's birthday. It was a Friday night and the place was PACKED - we had waited over an hour because he forgot to make a reservation. When the waitress got to her and said "What can I get for you, Sweetie?" BethAnn said, in what seemed to be her loudest possible voice, "I HAVE TO POOP!!!!"

SteveDallas · 11-06-2007, 01:06 AM

Heh. When my daughter had just finished kindergarten, we were signing her up for a summer day camp. There was a small mountain of paperwork to complete, and one of items was a list of camp rules that we were supposed to go over with the kid. So I dutifully sat her down and explained "Listen to the counselors", "Don't steal stuff from other kids", etc. Then: "Swearing will not be tolerated." "Dad? What does swearing mean?" "Ummm well, swearing is when you say bad words you're not supposed to say." "Oh. <pause> Well, I guess that includes swear word fingers too." And she pointed her middle finger straight at me. I couldn't decide whether to laugh or to explain that tradition demnaded a vertical presentation.

binky · 11-08-2007, 07:15 PM

My 11 yr old has taken to wearing her bra to bed at night because one of her aunts told her she would get boobs faster that way

binky · 11-08-2007, 07:17 PM

I told her be careful what you wish for 'cause once you get them you've got them for life

Griff · 11-08-2007, 07:20 PM

A lad in one of my classes had this gem last week. "My teacher has cajunkinhereye." That is 4 year old for conjunctivitus (pink eye) if you can't put it together.

SteveDallas · 11-08-2007, 11:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by binky

My 11 yr old has taken to wearing her bra to bed at night because one of her aunts told her she would get boobs faster that way

Oh, good job aunt!!

monster · 11-08-2007, 11:54 PM

Selling Scrip* tonight, my friend buys some "Chicken Jesus" cards for the babysitter to use when entertaining the brat.

ChuckECheese's.

---visions of Bob Evans menu including "chicken-fried Jesus"---

*Scrip = gift cards bought at a discount by school, sold at face value = fundraiser

SteveDallas · 11-09-2007, 09:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by monster

---visions of Bob Evans menu including "chicken-fried Jesus"---

Does that come with sausage gravy??

monster · 11-09-2007, 09:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SteveDallas

Does that come with sausage gravy??

I'd rather not speculate....

Shawnee123 · 11-09-2007, 09:43 AM

Only if it's kosher sausage.

ZenGum · 11-09-2007, 10:05 AM

And snipped.

Aliantha · 11-25-2007, 09:45 PM

My kids have their swimming carnival on this Wednesday. We were talking about what strokes they're entered in. turns out it's everything for both of them. They're both going to try for age champion.

anyway, my youngest was talking about butterfly, and he said, "I'm the best in my class, but I still suck".

11-01-2007, 04:33 PM	#271
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	i knew you were going to call me predictable. REAL mature, rob.....REAL Mature. __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

11-08-2007, 07:15 PM	#276
binky all hollowed out Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Ridgecrest, CA Posts: 982	My 11 yr old has taken to wearing her bra to bed at night because one of her aunts told her she would get boobs faster that way __________________ The meanest Mom EVER!!!!

11-08-2007, 07:17 PM	#277
binky all hollowed out Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Ridgecrest, CA Posts: 982	I told her be careful what you wish for 'cause once you get them you've got them for life __________________ The meanest Mom EVER!!!!

11-08-2007, 07:20 PM	#278
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	A lad in one of my classes had this gem last week. "My teacher has cajunkinhereye." That is 4 year old for conjunctivitus (pink eye) if you can't put it together. __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

11-08-2007, 11:54 PM	#280
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	Selling Scrip* tonight, my friend buys some "Chicken Jesus" cards for the babysitter to use when entertaining the brat. ChuckECheese's. ---visions of Bob Evans menu including "chicken-fried Jesus"--- Scrip = gift cards bought at a discount by school, sold at face value = fundraiser __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart*

11-01-2007, 07:33 PM	#273
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	What are the "related issues" and how much you want fer it?

11-06-2007, 01:06 AM	#275
SteveDallas Your Bartender Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Philly Burbs, PA Posts: 7,651	Heh. When my daughter had just finished kindergarten, we were signing her up for a summer day camp. There was a small mountain of paperwork to complete, and one of items was a list of camp rules that we were supposed to go over with the kid. So I dutifully sat her down and explained "Listen to the counselors", "Don't steal stuff from other kids", etc. Then: "Swearing will not be tolerated." "Dad? What does swearing mean?" "Ummm well, swearing is when you say bad words you're not supposed to say." "Oh. <pause> Well, I guess that includes swear word fingers too." And she pointed her middle finger straight at me. I couldn't decide whether to laugh or to explain that tradition demnaded a vertical presentation.

11-09-2007, 09:43 AM	#283
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	Only if it's kosher sausage.

11-09-2007, 10:05 AM	#284
ZenGum Doctor Wtf Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Badelaide, Baustralia Posts: 12,861	And snipped. __________________ Shut up and hug. MoreThanPretty, Nov 5, 2008. Just because I'm nominally polite, does not make me a pussy. Sundae Girl.

11-25-2007, 09:45 PM	#285
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	My kids have their swimming carnival on this Wednesday. We were talking about what strokes they're entered in. turns out it's everything for both of them. They're both going to try for age champion. anyway, my youngest was talking about butterfly, and he said, "I'm the best in my class, but I still suck". __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

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