I need advice...Quick!

Aliantha · 11-12-2007, 04:25 PM

Here's the back story:

My neighbour had two huskies (dogs) who don't bark, which was great. We never heard a peep out of them. They were locked under the house most of the time (which I personally don't approve of but that's not the issue really).

Recently (about 3 weeks ago) one of the dogs died. They don't really know why. That left one lonely Husky.

Now, every day when they go off to work and school, leaving the dog alone it howls. Pretty much constantly. I'm talking probably 6 out of the 9 or so hours it's alone for. Please keep in mind as you read this that I also work from home so this affects my ability to concentrate.

A couple of weeks ago I called her at work to tell her and she was quite good about it. Glad I'd let her know etc. She suggested she might leave the dog in the house with the cats while they're all gone or some such thing. Anyway, something must have not worked out with that because the dog was back downstairs again pretty quickly (after 1 day). Howling.

I tried to be patient and haven't said anything else till last week (when I was really sick and all I wanted to do was rest...of course this was difficult when there's a howling dog a few metres away). Anyway, because I had no voice, I sent her a text message simply saying, 'the dog is still howling. Thought you'd want to know.' I got no response, and there has been no change.

So this morning I decided to go talk to her before she left for work. First of all I saw them all look at each other before rolling down the window of the car. There were no smiles or good mornings. Only attitude. Lines like, "what do you want me to do", "we've just lost one dog", "we're trying to fix it", "we're not going to get rid of the dog", all of which I already knew and was not suggesting anyway.

The issue is, I'm a pet owner and realize that other people's pets can be a nuisance sometimes, but usually it's fairly short lived. This has been going on for several weeks now, with no end in sight from what I can tell.

I'm really pissed off after the way she spoke to me this morning when I consider myself to be a pretty considerate neighbour and I was not mean to her in my tone or words at all. I understand she probably does feel bad about it, so goes on the defensive, but that's not solving the problem, or helping me feel any sort of compassion towards her.

What would you do if you were me?

Sundae · 11-12-2007, 04:33 PM

Really hard to say, you've already been far braver than I would in the same circumstances (I am such a coward re confrontation).

Personally, I'd buy earplugs, but I don't think that's a solution you'll go for

Check out the laws in your area re noise pollution I guess.
Then write her a letter stating the facts as you've laid them out above - you work from home, you understand the circumstances but this has become a longer term problem now, you don't want to take it any further but they need to come up with a solution.

That way they can't brush you off the way they did in the car. They're just being defensive, but the truth is, it isn't up to you to come up with a solution for them - this is their problem.

Good luck & keep us updated.

Sundae · 11-12-2007, 04:35 PM

Another idea - tape or video it.
No commentary needed.
Then ask your neighbours to watch/ listen to it.
They might think you're overplaying the nuisance value otherwise.

Pie · 11-12-2007, 04:41 PM

Perhaps get her some valium/prozac?

(for the dog, I mean.)

Aliantha · 11-12-2007, 04:42 PM

Yeah, I thought about taping it, and I've just been writing a letter to stick in her mailbox today. This is what it says:

Donna,
I’m writing this letter to you because I didn’t get to tell you something important this morning. Aside from Keto (sorry if I’m not spelling her name correctly) howling all day, she’s scratching at the doors etc trying to get out. The dog is obviously very distressed, and aside from me being bothered by the howling, the dog is getting more and more aggressive in her attempts to escape. (she’s doing it right now as I type this letter)

With regard to our conversation this morning, I’d like you to consider that I’ve always tried to be a good neighbour and to communicate any issues I have to you directly rather than stewing on them and creating an unpleasant situation for all of us. I don’t think I’ve been unreasonable with you about this issue either. Over the course of three weeks I have made one phone call and sent one text message aside from our conversation this morning (aside from the day I first mentioned it to Ashleigh, which was when I found out about Wikka). Please try to consider how this situation affects my ability to concentrate when I’m working, aside from the fact that I was very sick last week and could not get the rest I needed because of the howling.

I don’t know what the answer to this problem is. It’s not for me to decide. What I can tell you is that I do have compassion for you over losing your pet that you loved. I love my pets too and would be devastated if I lost one, so please believe me when I say that. I also want you to know that I truly do not want you to have to lose another of the pets you love so dearly. All I need is for you to find a way to create some happiness for your puppy dog so that we can all have some peace once more.

I would like to think that if you had an issue with me or anyone in my family, you would try and discuss it with me in a reasonable manner so that a solution could be found.

Trish.

Aliantha · 11-12-2007, 04:44 PM

Hmmmm...maybe I'll slip the dog some doggy valium. I know my brother has some of that for when he needs to take his dog to the vet. Knowing my luck I'd kill the dog though.

binky · 11-12-2007, 04:45 PM

I agree with SG about the noise pollutions laws, and the taping of the issue-good luck with this- I am not a dog person so it would drive me especially crazy

jester · 11-12-2007, 04:47 PM

Sounds like the dog is in "mourning" over the loss. If the neighbors would consider getting another dog, it would probably help with the situation, sounds like he needs a companion. Obviously, this is not something you can do for them, but maybe as a suggestion.

binky · 11-12-2007, 04:48 PM

Maybe if they can afford it, consider a dog sitter until they are ready to get another dog to keep the lonely one company

bluecuracao · 11-12-2007, 04:53 PM

The letter sounds good. Also, how about suggesting a time to meet face-to-face to discuss solutions?

The dog just may need another companion.

Drax · 11-12-2007, 05:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by binky

I agree with SG about the noise pollutions laws,

I'm also in agreement with SGs assessment, and if necessary, get the police involved.

Aliantha · 11-12-2007, 05:08 PM

blue, I think you're right about the dog needing some company. Dogs are pack animals. Of course it's going to be sad when it's pack is all gone.

I don't know if they're considering that as an option, but my personal opinion is that it is the only solution.

I know money is tight for my neighbours though, so maybe buying another pet is out of the question at this stage.

I'm hoping that Donna will have a change of heart (attitude) and come and talk to me after she reads the letter.

Aliantha · 11-12-2007, 05:08 PM

Drax, I'd rather keep the cops and any other agencies out of it if possible. I have to live next door to these people for the for-seeable future.

HungLikeJesus · 11-12-2007, 05:18 PM

Aliantha - we've been going through a somewhat similar situation with our neighbor for the last several years. She has three dogs that constantly bark; whenever a fox or a bicycle or another dog goes by, they bark. If I go out in the yard or on the deck they bark, and continue to bark as long as I'm out there.

I've talked to her about it, and she's made some efforts, but I still think it would be nice if they all just disappeared one night.

Because of that, I don't work from home as often as I could.

Aliantha · 11-12-2007, 05:20 PM

That situation sux HLJ. Is she at home when they're barking?

This is a PS I decided to put on the bottom of the letter:

Ps. I’d really like to discuss these issues with you if you think there’s any way I can help. What about getting a friend for Keto? Is that an option? Maybe I can help with that.

11-12-2007, 04:25 PM	#1
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	I need advice...Quick! Here's the back story: My neighbour had two huskies (dogs) who don't bark, which was great. We never heard a peep out of them. They were locked under the house most of the time (which I personally don't approve of but that's not the issue really). Recently (about 3 weeks ago) one of the dogs died. They don't really know why. That left one lonely Husky. Now, every day when they go off to work and school, leaving the dog alone it howls. Pretty much constantly. I'm talking probably 6 out of the 9 or so hours it's alone for. Please keep in mind as you read this that I also work from home so this affects my ability to concentrate. A couple of weeks ago I called her at work to tell her and she was quite good about it. Glad I'd let her know etc. She suggested she might leave the dog in the house with the cats while they're all gone or some such thing. Anyway, something must have not worked out with that because the dog was back downstairs again pretty quickly (after 1 day). Howling. I tried to be patient and haven't said anything else till last week (when I was really sick and all I wanted to do was rest...of course this was difficult when there's a howling dog a few metres away). Anyway, because I had no voice, I sent her a text message simply saying, 'the dog is still howling. Thought you'd want to know.' I got no response, and there has been no change. So this morning I decided to go talk to her before she left for work. First of all I saw them all look at each other before rolling down the window of the car. There were no smiles or good mornings. Only attitude. Lines like, "what do you want me to do", "we've just lost one dog", "we're trying to fix it", "we're not going to get rid of the dog", all of which I already knew and was not suggesting anyway. The issue is, I'm a pet owner and realize that other people's pets can be a nuisance sometimes, but usually it's fairly short lived. This has been going on for several weeks now, with no end in sight from what I can tell. I'm really pissed off after the way she spoke to me this morning when I consider myself to be a pretty considerate neighbour and I was not mean to her in my tone or words at all. I understand she probably does feel bad about it, so goes on the defensive, but that's not solving the problem, or helping me feel any sort of compassion towards her. What would you do if you were me? __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

11-12-2007, 04:33 PM	#2
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	Really hard to say, you've already been far braver than I would in the same circumstances (I am such a coward re confrontation). Personally, I'd buy earplugs, but I don't think that's a solution you'll go for Check out the laws in your area re noise pollution I guess. Then write her a letter stating the facts as you've laid them out above - you work from home, you understand the circumstances but this has become a longer term problem now, you don't want to take it any further but they need to come up with a solution. That way they can't brush you off the way they did in the car. They're just being defensive, but the truth is, it isn't up to you to come up with a solution for them - this is their problem. Good luck & keep us updated. __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

11-12-2007, 04:35 PM	#3
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	Another idea - tape or video it. No commentary needed. Then ask your neighbours to watch/ listen to it. They might think you're overplaying the nuisance value otherwise. __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

11-12-2007, 04:41 PM	#4
Pie Gone and done Join Date: Sep 2001 Posts: 4,808	Perhaps get her some valium/prozac? (for the dog, I mean.) __________________ per·son \ˈpər-sən\ (noun) - an ephemeral collection of small, irrational decisions The fun thing about evolution (and science in general) is that it happens whether you believe in it or not.

11-12-2007, 04:42 PM	#5
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	Yeah, I thought about taping it, and I've just been writing a letter to stick in her mailbox today. This is what it says: Donna, I’m writing this letter to you because I didn’t get to tell you something important this morning. Aside from Keto (sorry if I’m not spelling her name correctly) howling all day, she’s scratching at the doors etc trying to get out. The dog is obviously very distressed, and aside from me being bothered by the howling, the dog is getting more and more aggressive in her attempts to escape. (she’s doing it right now as I type this letter) With regard to our conversation this morning, I’d like you to consider that I’ve always tried to be a good neighbour and to communicate any issues I have to you directly rather than stewing on them and creating an unpleasant situation for all of us. I don’t think I’ve been unreasonable with you about this issue either. Over the course of three weeks I have made one phone call and sent one text message aside from our conversation this morning (aside from the day I first mentioned it to Ashleigh, which was when I found out about Wikka). Please try to consider how this situation affects my ability to concentrate when I’m working, aside from the fact that I was very sick last week and could not get the rest I needed because of the howling. I don’t know what the answer to this problem is. It’s not for me to decide. What I can tell you is that I do have compassion for you over losing your pet that you loved. I love my pets too and would be devastated if I lost one, so please believe me when I say that. I also want you to know that I truly do not want you to have to lose another of the pets you love so dearly. All I need is for you to find a way to create some happiness for your puppy dog so that we can all have some peace once more. I would like to think that if you had an issue with me or anyone in my family, you would try and discuss it with me in a reasonable manner so that a solution could be found. Trish. __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

11-12-2007, 04:44 PM	#6
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	Hmmmm...maybe I'll slip the dog some doggy valium. I know my brother has some of that for when he needs to take his dog to the vet. Knowing my luck I'd kill the dog though. __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

11-12-2007, 04:45 PM	#7
binky all hollowed out Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Ridgecrest, CA Posts: 982	I agree with SG about the noise pollutions laws, and the taping of the issue-good luck with this- I am not a dog person so it would drive me especially crazy __________________ The meanest Mom EVER!!!!

11-12-2007, 04:47 PM	#8
jester why so serious Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 1,712	Sounds like the dog is in "mourning" over the loss. If the neighbors would consider getting another dog, it would probably help with the situation, sounds like he needs a companion. Obviously, this is not something you can do for them, but maybe as a suggestion.

11-12-2007, 04:48 PM	#9
binky all hollowed out Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Ridgecrest, CA Posts: 982	Maybe if they can afford it, consider a dog sitter until they are ready to get another dog to keep the lonely one company __________________ The meanest Mom EVER!!!!

11-12-2007, 04:53 PM	#10
bluecuracao in a mood, not cupcake Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Philadelphia Posts: 3,034	The letter sounds good. Also, how about suggesting a time to meet face-to-face to discuss solutions? The dog just may need another companion.

11-12-2007, 05:08 PM	#12
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	blue, I think you're right about the dog needing some company. Dogs are pack animals. Of course it's going to be sad when it's pack is all gone. I don't know if they're considering that as an option, but my personal opinion is that it is the only solution. I know money is tight for my neighbours though, so maybe buying another pet is out of the question at this stage. I'm hoping that Donna will have a change of heart (attitude) and come and talk to me after she reads the letter. __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

11-12-2007, 05:18 PM	#14
HungLikeJesus Only looks like a disaster tourist Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: above 7,000 feet Posts: 7,208	Aliantha - we've been going through a somewhat similar situation with our neighbor for the last several years. She has three dogs that constantly bark; whenever a fox or a bicycle or another dog goes by, they bark. If I go out in the yard or on the deck they bark, and continue to bark as long as I'm out there. I've talked to her about it, and she's made some efforts, but I still think it would be nice if they all just disappeared one night. Because of that, I don't work from home as often as I could. __________________ Keep Your Bodies Off My Lawn SteveDallas's Random Thread Picker.

11-12-2007, 05:20 PM	#15
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	That situation sux HLJ. Is she at home when they're barking? This is a PS I decided to put on the bottom of the letter: Ps. I’d really like to discuss these issues with you if you think there’s any way I can help. What about getting a friend for Keto? Is that an option? Maybe I can help with that. __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

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