09-03-2009, 07:55 AM | #2866 |
Blatantly Homosapien
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 6,200
|
The lord giveth and the lord taketh away.
Doesn't this make him an indian giver?
__________________
Please type slowly. I can't read very fast............... and no holy water, please. |
09-03-2009, 10:34 AM | #2867 |
dar512 is now Pete Zicato
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Chicago suburb
Posts: 4,968
|
That's "Native American giver" you insensitive bastard.
__________________
"Against stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain." -- Friedrich Schiller |
09-04-2009, 08:14 AM | #2868 |
Blatantly Homosapien
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 6,200
|
My native-american giver was waterboarded on 9/11 so I get a free pass. Carry on.
__________________
Please type slowly. I can't read very fast............... and no holy water, please. |
09-04-2009, 02:22 PM | #2869 | |
Snowflake
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Dystopia
Posts: 13,136
|
Quote:
(comment elicited a slight, under-the-breath chuckle at my desk)
__________________
****************** There's a level of facility that everyone needs to accomplish, and from there it's a matter of deciding for yourself how important ultra-facility is to your expression. ... I found, like Joseph Campbell said, if you just follow whatever gives you a little joy or excitement or awe, then you're on the right track. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Terry Bozzio |
|
09-04-2009, 02:29 PM | #2870 | |
dar512 is now Pete Zicato
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Chicago suburb
Posts: 4,968
|
Quote:
Kids these days. In my day we had to pay for a pass. And we liked it. </grumbles>
__________________
"Against stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain." -- Friedrich Schiller |
|
09-04-2009, 02:50 PM | #2871 |
is fleeing the scene
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Beautiful CO
Posts: 1,510
|
AND we had to walk barefoot through the snow uphill both ways to get it.
__________________
Once, in an interview, Chuck Norris admitted that he was not the most awesome thing ever. He declined to elaborate; but I believe we all know that he was referring to the existence of chocolate covered bacon. I'd rather be judged by twelve than carried by six. |
09-04-2009, 03:45 PM | #2872 |
dar512 is now Pete Zicato
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Chicago suburb
Posts: 4,968
|
Damn straight.
__________________
"Against stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain." -- Friedrich Schiller |
09-04-2009, 03:59 PM | #2873 |
is fleeing the scene
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Beautiful CO
Posts: 1,510
|
Lawn. Off. Now.
__________________
Once, in an interview, Chuck Norris admitted that he was not the most awesome thing ever. He declined to elaborate; but I believe we all know that he was referring to the existence of chocolate covered bacon. I'd rather be judged by twelve than carried by six. |
09-08-2009, 08:36 AM | #2874 |
barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy.
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 23,401
|
A WOMAN'S POEM:
Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man who's not a creep, One who's handsome, smart and strong. One who loves to listen long, One who thinks before he speaks, One who'll call, not wait for weeks. I pray he's rich and self-employed, And when I spend, won't be annoyed. Pull out my chair and hold my hand. Massage my feet and help me stand. Oh send a king to make me queen. A man who loves to cook and clean. I pray this man will love no other. And relish visits with my mother. A MAN'S POEM: I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac with big tits who owns a bar on a golf course, and loves to send me fishing and drinking. This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit.
__________________
"like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt |
09-08-2009, 10:18 AM | #2875 |
“Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo”
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Savannah, Georgia
Posts: 21,393
|
That was great.
__________________
Anyone but the this most fuked up President in History in 2012! |
09-08-2009, 03:38 PM | #2876 |
Constitutional Scholar
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Ocala, FL
Posts: 4,006
|
Classic, you forgot independently wealthy, bi-sexual, gourmet chef, who loves threesomes and is turned on by jobless men with beer guts who play video games all day.
__________________
"I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death." - George Carlin |
09-08-2009, 03:47 PM | #2877 |
Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya?
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 21,206
|
What's really funny about it:
Even with those crazy crazy grandiose things you men are asking for, you STILL have a better chance of finding one of those women than any woman has of finding that guy in the woman's poem. Oh, I'm sorry, now who is the joke on?
__________________
A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby |
09-08-2009, 03:51 PM | #2878 |
barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy.
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 23,401
|
Personally, I already found the woman of my dreams and she is nothing short of amazing! No joke. <pbbbbllllltttttt>
__________________
"like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt |
09-08-2009, 03:54 PM | #2879 |
Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya?
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 21,206
|
Yeah, so?
What's that got to do with the price of eggs in the Cellar?
__________________
A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby |
Tags |
humor |
Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 25 (0 members and 25 guests) | |
|
|