the lie thread

plthijinx · 02-05-2011, 02:10 AM

ok here's a fun game....

I want you to comment on this thread about how you met the previous poster. But, I want you to lie. That's right. Just make stuff up. I know how many creative people are here so come on, make us laugh! Or else...!

(for example: from drfroth and my facebook page: It was that day a few years ago when the gigantic turtle towing the trailer filled with rancid mashed potatoes and rhino eggs crawled out from under the bridge at the track. You had just escaped from the institute for the insane and sexualy malfuntioned. You tried to run, but the turtle was on you in a flash and begin knawing at your legs. The turtle was soon joined by a carnivours cow named Moolie who galloped over and took a big bite out of your crotch. We heard your screams even though they hit octaves usually reserved for small members of the animal kingdom. After saving you...we gave you a job. I'll never forget that day.)

sooooo.....guess i get to get slammed first...errrr second. no wait first here. ummm.....

Sundae · 02-05-2011, 06:59 AM

I met plthijinx on a steamy August afternoon. I couldn't even tell you what the humidity level was, but his shirt was sticking to him in a very becoming manner, and even from across the lawn I guessed the sweat was running down his bak into his buttcrack and pooling in his pants.

I know he was trying to look manly, posing by the barbecue, sipping continental lager and sword swallowing sausages, but there was something about the way he was wearing those Hello Kitty sandals that spoke of an interesting duality in his nature.

I sashayed across, vodka and diet coke in a long glass sweating cool into my hand, and eyed him up and down from close range. I was freshly washed and powdered in my cream linen dress and straw hat, barefoot on the fast dying lawn. "I'm Cherry" I murmered seductively, "and you look hot."

What happened next came like a thunderclap. Well, it was a thunderclap. The two of us were soaked to the skin by the sudden onslaught of hot summer rain, warm as blood on my shoulders and on my emotions.

I can't remember too much more. Suffice to say that as they pulled me out of the oxygen tent, I asked for the latest party.

plthijinx · 02-07-2011, 10:05 PM

that's the spirit! (good one too i might add!!) but i cannot double post soooo....come on someone! how did you meet (or meat) SG??

SamIam · 02-07-2011, 10:58 PM

I first met Sundae Girl at a post deconstructionalist/MaryKay party and tent revival. She demonstrated for us the new and startling depths to which the Brits have taken the MaryKay (originally from Texas) look and lifestyle. Keeping to her satirical commentary on the American South (with typical understated British humor), she pulled a large boa constrictor from her pink MaryKay case and allowed the giant snake to writhe around her pink poka dotted bikini clad body while she spoke in tongues or maybe she was just talking with her cool British accent.

Although Sundae's mother seemed faintly disapproving of this display, the rest of the crowd roared its approval - especially the male part of the crowd - and demanded that Sundae wash away their sins by immersing them in MaryKay Sensual Bath Oil.

I still have the pix and Sundae can pm me if she wants to find out my blackmail plans.

plthijinx · 02-09-2011, 03:27 AM

samiam came up to me one day at the airport. wanted to join the mile high club with sheldon. all the while thinking that "Thinks Dr. Seuss is not a REAL doctor" so i'm like "what the fuck" i'll fly this mission. as long as shel isn't focused on me. way to go sam!! i appreciate that! anyway while on climb out sam pushed shel out the door then begged me to let sam fly the plane. errrr ok i'll letcha. hell if zip can fly anyone can. only thing is when we landed? was it back at the home airport?? neeeeooooowwww!!! it was vegas. so we post drunk and rich. we hit the progressive.

Gravdigr · 02-09-2011, 04:01 PM

I first met plthijinx when he and Sam came into my wedding chapel in Vegas. The ceremony was almost over, when Sheldon came in and started coming on to me (something about fingers). Then he started baggi--ragging me about my Elvis lambchop sideburns. Then Sam, who had previously complimented me on my sideburns, hit Shel with her purse, then he hit her with his, and shit just kinda went downhill from there.

We wound up in jail, but, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, right?

toranokaze · 02-12-2011, 09:52 PM

I first met Gravedigr in Mount Carmel Cemetery at 2am. He was neck deep in an open grave when I asked, " Are you putting on in or taking one out? " He looked up in an award silence. Then I notice it 1kg of uncut Colombian cocaine. Needless to say the rest of the night was kind of burly, but I would up in the Nevada desert

plthijinx · 02-17-2011, 06:25 PM

toranokaze showed up at the airport with this white substance in a bag and i asked him if it was cocaine. the answer was no, it;s doggie flea powder. doggie flea powder??

well where did you get that? i asked. answer? beh, i dug it up someplace. can you give me a ride back to little mexico? looking at the white substance i said, no, no i can;t. i;ve got an angel flight i have to do with a patient seeking medical care back in houston for herpegonnasyphilaids. then tora walked off mumbling something about a grave digger....huh. imagine that.

kerosene · 02-17-2011, 06:40 PM

Plt was the pilot of a plane I was on going from Australia to LA. Somehow, a strange magnetic anomaly caused the plane to crash near an island in the pacific. Many people died, but many of us survived for several months on the island. I did not see plt again, until one night when a band of "others" tried to steal a pregnant woman from my camp. He was the one with the needle. We became reacquainted again one day when we were individually both asked to return to reality by some psycho. We both boarded a plane, though I believe he got to fly again ...not sure why they let him since the last one he flew crashed. He resumed his former life in Texas and I resumed mine in Colorado.

How original, huh?

Gravdigr · 02-19-2011, 05:14 PM

You're dead! I'm dead!! We're all dead here!!!

Gravdigr · 02-19-2011, 05:25 PM

I first met kero when he and plt were doing some court ordered re-hab. I wasn't in re-hab. I was on the corner slinging dope to the freshly fiending addicts. Plt was off pretty quick as he had to go, uh, "work out" with a prison buddy. (?) Last time I saw, kero was crawling around on the sidewalk scrutinizing every pebble and piece of lint mumbling "Is this flea powder? Wait, is that flea powder? Ooh, flea powder??"

It was sad.

I sold kero some ground up tic tacs...

Sundae · 02-20-2011, 07:42 AM

I first met Gravdigr when he was receiving an honorary doctorate in Chemical Pharmacology from St Cross College, Oxford. He was being recognised for his work in drug discovery and delivered an introduction to his groundbreaking paper comparing and contrasting developments in both the American and Afghan fields, sponsored by Dunkin Donuts.

Obviously he was mobbed by both Fellows and Dons at the reception held afterwards, and which I admit I actually gatecrashed. Well, crashed into really. I managed to recognise him too, and we had a spirited discussion about whether he had any further ground that need breaking, and where I might discover some available grass in the field.

I separated him from the mob, for which he showed great appreciation, and also provided him with paper during a sticky situation in the Gents. He decided to blow that buffet, although I think that might have been the vol-au-vents. As a result the evening ended with both of us being pulled from the bed of Isis, whence we had descended via the Bird and Baby.

His connections had him released hours before me, so it was a sodden and stumbling Sundae mourning. I hope to see him again, from the moment of our separation I missed his gravity, his grace and the grand I lent him to further his studies into pharmacology.

kerosene · 02-21-2011, 04:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gravdigr

I sold kero some ground up tic tacs...

And that was how I became a girl.

plthijinx · 02-22-2011, 06:56 PM

sundae that was awesome!

and kero? big grin just big griiiiin!

but really how kerosene and i met was this:

she was on a date with gravedgr at the go kart track. they were swerving, bumping, slamming just being downright wreckless and careless! i got on them for their antics but not before gravedgr sucker punched me in the nose. so what did i do? i wiped my bloody nose on grave;s pants leg and told an 8 year old girl to take out kero, which she did mind you. little did kero know that the little girl was already a black belt in aikido! so since then we have become friends to this day. although i think i met kero on a flight i had that was zapped by a UFO and caused us to crash in the pacific but maybe that was a dream.....hmmmm.

Gravdigr · 02-23-2011, 08:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kerosene

And that was how I became a girl.

I told you not to rub that tic-tac powder on your hoohoo...

Sorry about the "he" thing. I had a feeling when I posted that...I thought it was gas.

02-05-2011, 02:10 AM	#1
plthijinx Master Dwellar Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 4,197	the lie thread ok here's a fun game.... I want you to comment on this thread about how you met the previous poster. But, I want you to lie. That's right. Just make stuff up. I know how many creative people are here so come on, make us laugh! Or else...! (for example: from drfroth and my facebook page: It was that day a few years ago when the gigantic turtle towing the trailer filled with rancid mashed potatoes and rhino eggs crawled out from under the bridge at the track. You had just escaped from the institute for the insane and sexualy malfuntioned. You tried to run, but the turtle was on you in a flash and begin knawing at your legs. The turtle was soon joined by a carnivours cow named Moolie who galloped over and took a big bite out of your crotch. We heard your screams even though they hit octaves usually reserved for small members of the animal kingdom. After saving you...we gave you a job. I'll never forget that day.) sooooo.....guess i get to get slammed first...errrr second. no wait first here. ummm..... __________________ For your dreams to come true, you must first have a dream.

02-05-2011, 06:59 AM	#2
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	I met plthijinx on a steamy August afternoon. I couldn't even tell you what the humidity level was, but his shirt was sticking to him in a very becoming manner, and even from across the lawn I guessed the sweat was running down his bak into his buttcrack and pooling in his pants. I know he was trying to look manly, posing by the barbecue, sipping continental lager and sword swallowing sausages, but there was something about the way he was wearing those Hello Kitty sandals that spoke of an interesting duality in his nature. I sashayed across, vodka and diet coke in a long glass sweating cool into my hand, and eyed him up and down from close range. I was freshly washed and powdered in my cream linen dress and straw hat, barefoot on the fast dying lawn. "I'm Cherry" I murmered seductively, "and you look hot." What happened next came like a thunderclap. Well, it was a thunderclap. The two of us were soaked to the skin by the sudden onslaught of hot summer rain, warm as blood on my shoulders and on my emotions. I can't remember too much more. Suffice to say that as they pulled me out of the oxygen tent, I asked for the latest party. __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

02-07-2011, 10:05 PM	#3
plthijinx Master Dwellar Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 4,197	that's the spirit! (good one too i might add!!) but i cannot double post soooo....come on someone! how did you meet (or meat) SG?? __________________ For your dreams to come true, you must first have a dream.

02-09-2011, 03:27 AM	#5
plthijinx Master Dwellar Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 4,197	samiam came up to me one day at the airport. wanted to join the mile high club with sheldon. all the while thinking that "Thinks Dr. Seuss is not a REAL doctor" so i'm like "what the fuck" i'll fly this mission. as long as shel isn't focused on me. way to go sam!! i appreciate that! anyway while on climb out sam pushed shel out the door then begged me to let sam fly the plane. errrr ok i'll letcha. hell if zip can fly anyone can. only thing is when we landed? was it back at the home airport?? neeeeooooowwww!!! it was vegas. so we post drunk and rich. we hit the progressive. __________________ For your dreams to come true, you must first have a dream.

02-09-2011, 04:01 PM	#6
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	I first met plthijinx when he and Sam came into my wedding chapel in Vegas. The ceremony was almost over, when Sheldon came in and started coming on to me (something about fingers). Then he started baggi--ragging me about my Elvis lambchop sideburns. Then Sam, who had previously complimented me on my sideburns, hit Shel with her purse, then he hit her with his, and shit just kinda went downhill from there. We wound up in jail, but, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, right? __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

02-07-2011, 10:58 PM	#4
SamIam Registered User Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Not here Posts: 2,655	I first met Sundae Girl at a post deconstructionalist/MaryKay party and tent revival. She demonstrated for us the new and startling depths to which the Brits have taken the MaryKay (originally from Texas) look and lifestyle. Keeping to her satirical commentary on the American South (with typical understated British humor), she pulled a large boa constrictor from her pink MaryKay case and allowed the giant snake to writhe around her pink poka dotted bikini clad body while she spoke in tongues or maybe she was just talking with her cool British accent. Although Sundae's mother seemed faintly disapproving of this display, the rest of the crowd roared its approval - especially the male part of the crowd - and demanded that Sundae wash away their sins by immersing them in MaryKay Sensual Bath Oil. I still have the pix and Sundae can pm me if she wants to find out my blackmail plans.

02-12-2011, 09:52 PM	#7
toranokaze I'm still a jerk Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Little Mexico Posts: 1,817	I first met Gravedigr in Mount Carmel Cemetery at 2am. He was neck deep in an open grave when I asked, " Are you putting on in or taking one out? " He looked up in an award silence. Then I notice it 1kg of uncut Colombian cocaine. Needless to say the rest of the night was kind of burly, but I would up in the Nevada desert __________________ "Without deviation from the norm progress is not possible." - Frank Zappa It is the ignorance of ignorance that lead to the death of knowledge The Virgin Mary does not weep for her son, for he is in paradise. She weeps for the world , for we are in suffering.

02-17-2011, 06:25 PM	#8
plthijinx Master Dwellar Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 4,197	toranokaze showed up at the airport with this white substance in a bag and i asked him if it was cocaine. the answer was no, it;s doggie flea powder. doggie flea powder?? well where did you get that? i asked. answer? beh, i dug it up someplace. can you give me a ride back to little mexico? looking at the white substance i said, no, no i can;t. i;ve got an angel flight i have to do with a patient seeking medical care back in houston for herpegonnasyphilaids. then tora walked off mumbling something about a grave digger....huh. imagine that. __________________ For your dreams to come true, you must first have a dream.

02-17-2011, 06:40 PM	#9
kerosene Touring the facilities Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: The plains of Colorado Posts: 3,476	Plt was the pilot of a plane I was on going from Australia to LA. Somehow, a strange magnetic anomaly caused the plane to crash near an island in the pacific. Many people died, but many of us survived for several months on the island. I did not see plt again, until one night when a band of "others" tried to steal a pregnant woman from my camp. He was the one with the needle. We became reacquainted again one day when we were individually both asked to return to reality by some psycho. We both boarded a plane, though I believe he got to fly again ...not sure why they let him since the last one he flew crashed. He resumed his former life in Texas and I resumed mine in Colorado. How original, huh?

02-19-2011, 05:14 PM	#10
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	You're dead! I'm dead!! We're all dead here!!! __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

02-19-2011, 05:25 PM	#11
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	I first met kero when he and plt were doing some court ordered re-hab. I wasn't in re-hab. I was on the corner slinging dope to the freshly fiending addicts. Plt was off pretty quick as he had to go, uh, "work out" with a prison buddy. (?) Last time I saw, kero was crawling around on the sidewalk scrutinizing every pebble and piece of lint mumbling "Is this flea powder? Wait, is that flea powder? Ooh, flea powder??" It was sad. I sold kero some ground up tic tacs... __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

02-20-2011, 07:42 AM	#12
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	I first met Gravdigr when he was receiving an honorary doctorate in Chemical Pharmacology from St Cross College, Oxford. He was being recognised for his work in drug discovery and delivered an introduction to his groundbreaking paper comparing and contrasting developments in both the American and Afghan fields, sponsored by Dunkin Donuts. Obviously he was mobbed by both Fellows and Dons at the reception held afterwards, and which I admit I actually gatecrashed. Well, crashed into really. I managed to recognise him too, and we had a spirited discussion about whether he had any further ground that need breaking, and where I might discover some available grass in the field. I separated him from the mob, for which he showed great appreciation, and also provided him with paper during a sticky situation in the Gents. He decided to blow that buffet, although I think that might have been the vol-au-vents. As a result the evening ended with both of us being pulled from the bed of Isis, whence we had descended via the Bird and Baby. His connections had him released hours before me, so it was a sodden and stumbling Sundae mourning. I hope to see him again, from the moment of our separation I missed his gravity, his grace and the grand I lent him to further his studies into pharmacology. Last edited by Sundae; 02-20-2011 at 08:01 AM.

02-22-2011, 06:56 PM	#14
plthijinx Master Dwellar Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 4,197	sundae that was awesome! and kero? big grin just big griiiiin! but really how kerosene and i met was this: she was on a date with gravedgr at the go kart track. they were swerving, bumping, slamming just being downright wreckless and careless! i got on them for their antics but not before gravedgr sucker punched me in the nose. so what did i do? i wiped my bloody nose on grave;s pants leg and told an 8 year old girl to take out kero, which she did mind you. little did kero know that the little girl was already a black belt in aikido! so since then we have become friends to this day. although i think i met kero on a flight i had that was zapped by a UFO and caused us to crash in the pacific but maybe that was a dream.....hmmmm. __________________ For your dreams to come true, you must first have a dream.

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)