I think somebody needs a nap.

juju · 02-13-2004, 07:56 AM

When I was a kid, and had some problem I was upset about, I would inevitably recieve the comment, "Ohhh, i think somebody needs a nap!"

This comment enrages me so much. Here I have a geniune complaint, and I am told that I am only upset because I am tired. When I get tired, I fucking go to sleep. I don't run around the house screaming because of it. This comment is so dehumanizing that it drives me crazy. I mean, what if we were in a vegan debate, Quzah makes his arguments, and somebody says, "Quzah, I think somebody needs a nap." That's fucking bullshit! What a copout.

Beestie · 02-13-2004, 08:11 AM

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm. I think somebody needs a nap.

dar512 · 02-13-2004, 09:33 AM

First let me say that it is obvious that Quzah does need to get more sleep. Either that or he's naturally cranky.

Second. I know my kids. I know them better than I know anyone else [even my wife] because I'm in the business of helping them become the best people they can be.

There are situations where they start complaining about stuff that I know would not bother them if they were not tired. Often it's stuff they know better than to complain about in the first place - chores, homework, etc. When they were younger and this happened, I sent them to their rooms for a nap.

Now that they are older, I tell them I won't discuss the issue until they get more rest and that they will be going to bed early that night.

BTW, I have been in situations with my kids where I was the one that was tired and cranky. I apologized to my kids and sent myself to bed for a nap.

Third. As I recall you have a baby in the house. Yes? I am already getting enjoyment out of visualizing you handling this situation with your own child.

Fourth. The way you write it, it sounds like your parents were sneering or making fun of you when they said it. That might be what is really bothering you. I never talk down to my kids and didn't even when they were toddlers. Children are not tiny adults, but they do deserve to be treated with respect.

perth · 02-13-2004, 09:41 AM

I'm with Dar. When my son starts crying at the suggestion of getting out the colouring books and crayons, it's time for a nap. Sometimes, what's wrong is simply that he is tired. But of course, there is no way he will ever admit that to me. Naptime is not fun (although it doesn't have to be torture), but still something that needs to be done with young children. My son gets a 2-hour nap most every day, and if he doesn't get that, starts acting fussy and rubbing his eyes, you can be pretty certain that yes, someone needs a nap.

But I do agree that more than a few parents use this as a copout. But the times I've seen it, its been used by parents who never learned how to discipline their children in the first place. Naptime should never be used as punishment, a parent should do their best to make it as positive an experience as possible.

lumberjim · 02-13-2004, 10:04 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by juju
When I was a kid, and had some problem I was upset about, I would inevitably recieve the comment, "Ohhh, i think somebody needs a nap!"

This comment enrages me so much. Here I have a geniune complaint, and I am told that I am only upset because I am tired. When I get tired, I fucking go to sleep. I don't run around the house screaming because of it. This comment is so dehumanizing that it drives me crazy. I mean, what if we were in a vegan debate, Quzah makes his arguments, and somebody says, "Quzah, I think somebody needs a nap." That's fucking bullshit! What a copout.

man, you whine a lot. take the friggin dress off, nancy.

I don't think you need a nap, I think you need an enema.

Griff · 02-13-2004, 10:10 AM

Just lay down and close your eyes for a minute. I promise you'll feel better.

juju · 02-13-2004, 10:17 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by dar512
Fourth. The way you write it, it sounds like your parents were sneering or making fun of you when they said it. That might be what is really bothering you. I never talk down to my kids and didn't even when they were toddlers. Children are not tiny adults, but they do deserve to be treated with respect.

I think you're probably right with this. Man, this is becoming a serious issue with me, isn't it?

So many parenting things cause me blind rage. But at their core, they're probably the right thing to do -- it's just the immense lack of respect when they're executed that ends up pissing me off. Except I end up blaming the surface action instead?

Quote:

Originally posted by dar512
Third. As I recall you have a baby in the house. Yes? I am already getting enjoyment out of visualizing you handling this situation with your own child.

Yeah, that's why I'm trying to figure this shit out. If have insecurities, I need to figure out what they are and get over them so I can do this stuff the right way (whatever that is).

juju · 02-13-2004, 10:20 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by lumberjim
man, you whine a lot. take the friggin dress off, nancy.

What should I do, bottle it up? That doesn't solve anything!

juju · 02-13-2004, 10:22 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by perth
I'm with Dar. When my son starts crying at the suggestion of getting out the colouring books and crayons, it's time for a nap. Sometimes, what's wrong is simply that he is tired. But of course, there is no way he will ever admit that to me. Naptime is not fun (although it doesn't have to be torture), but still something that needs to be done with young children. My son gets a 2-hour nap most every day, and if he doesn't get that, starts acting fussy and rubbing his eyes, you can be pretty certain that yes, someone needs a nap.

But I do agree that more than a few parents use this as a copout. But the times I've seen it, its been used by parents who never learned how to discipline their children in the first place. Naptime should never be used as punishment, a parent should do their best to make it as positive an experience as possible.

Well, thanks for this Perth. Perhaps when my child gets older I will see this. On the other hand, it's nice to know that perhaps both sides could be true at the same time.

juju · 02-13-2004, 10:30 AM

I think that if instead, when I had a complaint, people said to me, "No, dude, you're just a fucking moron", that it would elicit the exact same response in me.

Like I don't know what <b>I'm</b> feeling!

"Hey, this irritates me"

"No it doesn't. You're an idiot. You don't even know what you're feeling. I know what you're feeling better than you".

Auuughh!

-------------

My apologies.. I still felt like venting.

perth · 02-13-2004, 10:56 AM

I think I misunderstood you. I was defending the place of naptime in the life of a parent. Sorry.

I think parents often make assumptions about what is bothering a child; I've done it myself on more than on occasion. Yeah, to tell a child what is wrong with them rather than to let them tell you is an invalidation of their feelings, whether intentional or not. The best I can really do when I catch myself doing it is to stop, apologise to my son, ask him what is wrong, and then help him correct it.

kerosene · 02-13-2004, 11:07 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by perth
I think I misunderstood you. I was defending the place of naptime in the life of a parent. Sorry.

In the life of a child, too...you and I both know how miserable a 2 year old is if he doesn't get a nap one day.

juju · 02-13-2004, 11:14 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by jinx
juju, do you have sand in your vagina? does it itch?

oops...that was posted by Ljim

Dude, if you want to repress your emotions because of some outdated sense of masculinity, that's fine. It's unlikely to phase me, though.

lumberjim · 02-13-2004, 11:36 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by juju
Dude, if you want to repress your emotions because of some outdated sense of masculinity, that's fine. It's unlikely to phase me, though.

i was just commenting on my opinion that you tend to overreact and take things personally....

who says a sense of masculinity is outdated. just because you're in touch with your feminine side, doesn;t mean you have to ignore your masculine side.

dave would be kicking your ass all over the cellar by now over this.

juju · 02-13-2004, 11:55 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by lumberjim
i was just commenting on my opinion that you tend to overreact and take things personally....

Maybe, maybe not. I'm open to the idea, but I'm not sure it's true.

Quote:

Originally posted by lumberjim
who says a sense of masculinity is outdated. just because you're in touch with your feminine side, doesn;t mean you have to ignore your masculine side.

I'm not sure I understand what you mean?

Quote:

Originally posted by lumberjim
dave would be kicking your ass all over the cellar by now over this.

Dave attempts to control people by hurting their feelings, which is evil. If you think this a good way to "keep people in line", then you need help.

I don't mean to be argumentative, though. I'm open to any suggestion of change. That's why I voice my frustrations in the first place. I think that I have to figure myself out if I'm going to be a good parent. Is the anger I hold for the things my mom did valid, or am I just misunderstanding her difficult position? I think this is really important for me to figure out.

02-13-2004, 07:56 AM	#1
juju no one of consequence Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Arkansas Posts: 2,839	I think somebody needs a nap. When I was a kid, and had some problem I was upset about, I would inevitably recieve the comment, "Ohhh, i think somebody needs a nap!" This comment enrages me so much. Here I have a geniune complaint, and I am told that I am only upset because I am tired. When I get tired, I fucking go to sleep. I don't run around the house screaming because of it. This comment is so dehumanizing that it drives me crazy. I mean, what if we were in a vegan debate, Quzah makes his arguments, and somebody says, "Quzah, I think somebody needs a nap." That's fucking bullshit! What a copout.

02-13-2004, 08:11 AM	#2
Beestie -◊\|≡·∙■·∙≡\|◊- Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Parts unknown. Posts: 4,081	Hmmmmmmmmmmmm. I think somebody needs a nap. __________________ ♠ ♥ ♣ ♦

02-13-2004, 10:10 AM	#6
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	Just lay down and close your eyes for a minute. I promise you'll feel better. __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

02-13-2004, 09:33 AM	#3
dar512 dar512 is now Pete Zicato Join Date: May 2003 Location: Chicago suburb Posts: 4,968	First let me say that it is obvious that Quzah does need to get more sleep. Either that or he's naturally cranky. Second. I know my kids. I know them better than I know anyone else [even my wife] because I'm in the business of helping them become the best people they can be. There are situations where they start complaining about stuff that I know would not bother them if they were not tired. Often it's stuff they know better than to complain about in the first place - chores, homework, etc. When they were younger and this happened, I sent them to their rooms for a nap. Now that they are older, I tell them I won't discuss the issue until they get more rest and that they will be going to bed early that night. BTW, I have been in situations with my kids where I was the one that was tired and cranky. I apologized to my kids and sent myself to bed for a nap. Third. As I recall you have a baby in the house. Yes? I am already getting enjoyment out of visualizing you handling this situation with your own child. Fourth. The way you write it, it sounds like your parents were sneering or making fun of you when they said it. That might be what is really bothering you. I never talk down to my kids and didn't even when they were toddlers. Children are not tiny adults, but they do deserve to be treated with respect.

02-13-2004, 09:41 AM	#4
perth Strong Silent Type Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Fort Collins, CO Posts: 1,949	I'm with Dar. When my son starts crying at the suggestion of getting out the colouring books and crayons, it's time for a nap. Sometimes, what's wrong is simply that he is tired. But of course, there is no way he will ever admit that to me. Naptime is not fun (although it doesn't have to be torture), but still something that needs to be done with young children. My son gets a 2-hour nap most every day, and if he doesn't get that, starts acting fussy and rubbing his eyes, you can be pretty certain that yes, someone needs a nap. But I do agree that more than a few parents use this as a copout. But the times I've seen it, its been used by parents who never learned how to discipline their children in the first place. Naptime should never be used as punishment, a parent should do their best to make it as positive an experience as possible.

02-13-2004, 10:30 AM	#10
juju no one of consequence Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Arkansas Posts: 2,839	I think that if instead, when I had a complaint, people said to me, "No, dude, you're just a fucking moron", that it would elicit the exact same response in me. Like I don't know what <b>I'm</b> feeling! "Hey, this irritates me" "No it doesn't. You're an idiot. You don't even know what you're feeling. I know what you're feeling better than you". Auuughh! ------------- My apologies.. I still felt like venting.

02-13-2004, 10:56 AM	#11
perth Strong Silent Type Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Fort Collins, CO Posts: 1,949	I think I misunderstood you. I was defending the place of naptime in the life of a parent. Sorry. I think parents often make assumptions about what is bothering a child; I've done it myself on more than on occasion. Yeah, to tell a child what is wrong with them rather than to let them tell you is an invalidation of their feelings, whether intentional or not. The best I can really do when I catch myself doing it is to stop, apologise to my son, ask him what is wrong, and then help him correct it.

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