Humor...I Need Humor... - Page 313

ZenGum · 10-10-2012, 03:43 AM

If life gives you melons, get checked for dyslexia.

toranokaze · 10-12-2012, 01:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by monster

I didn't like to point out Bullfart's typo, though...

I'm blaming auto correct

Gravdigr · 10-16-2012, 01:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ZenGum

If life gives you melons,...

If life gives you melons...

...motorboat them puppies!!

regular.joe · 10-24-2012, 07:04 AM

And I grabbed this off of the internet a few moments ago....maybe this goes in the sometimes the stars align thread?

Lamplighter · 10-24-2012, 10:32 AM

The story behind that headline is appalling.... a government official doing a CYOA.

Time World
Stephan Faris
Oct. 24, 2012

ITALY: The Aquila Earthquake Verdict: Where the Guilt May Really Lie

Quote:

When a judge in Italy ruled Monday that seven experts were guilty of manslaughter
for having failed to adequately warn citizens in the city of Aquila of a major earthquake,
the verdict was met in the courtroom by stunned silence.

Internationally, it was greeted with outrage.
Scientists claimed that science itself was on trial.
Columnists compared the conviction, in which each man was
sentenced to six years in prison, to the persecution of Galileo.

In Italy, on Tuesday, the head of the country’s disaster management agency resigned in protest.
But whatever one thinks of the judgment–and there are more reasons than not
to be concerned–the greatest danger may lie elsewhere: that anger over the verdict
will distract from the very real lessons the case has to offer.

At issue is a meeting of the seven defendants, then members of a board called the
National Commission for the Forecast and Prevention of Major Risks, in Aquila on March 31, 2009.
Small tremors had been rocking the area for months, light shocks
that rattled buildings and sent frightened citizens into the streets.
To make matters worse, a local resident who wasn’t a scientist was using
an unproved method of earthquake prediction, analyzing concentrations of radon gas
to forecast the time and place of tremors.
His findings–which proved unfounded–were being picked up by the local media, adding to the sense of panic.

It was into this environment that the Italian government called the seven defendants,
top men in their field, to a rare meeting outside of Rome.
It was to all appearances more of a publicity move than a real scientific evaluation.
Later, the Italian Daily La Repubblica would publish a wiretap transcript
in which top government official can be heard describing the meeting as a “media operation.”
We want “to calm down the public,” he says, speaking the day before the gathering.
“And instead of you and me…we’ll have the top scientists in the field of seismology talking.”

After the meeting, the government official on the commission gave a statement to the media.

Quote:

“The scientific community tells me there is no danger,
because there is an ongoing discharge of energy,” he said.

“The situation looks favorable.”

Six days later, the city was struck by a magnitude 6.3 earthquake.
The shaking was felt in Rome, a two-hour drive away.
Aquila’s historic city center–one of Italy’s largest–was devastated.
More than 300 people were killed. Another 1,600 were injured.
Thousands were left homeless.

<snip>

regular.joe · 10-24-2012, 04:28 PM

Yea, but, you got the joke right?

Sent from my ASUS Transformer Pad TF300T using Tapatalk 2

Lamplighter · 10-24-2012, 05:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by regular.joe

Yea, but, you got the joke right?

Sent from my ASUS Transformer Pad TF300T using Tapatalk 2

Ummm, I guess so; but knowing the background of the headline, I also got the irony.
Without the background, it was (for me) just another PR ad by another oil company.

toranokaze · 11-17-2012, 09:24 PM

My girlfriend asked me to treat her like a princess; so I locked her in a tower

Gravdigr · 11-20-2012, 04:58 AM

...so I crashed her car in a tunnel.

What?

footfootfoot · 11-20-2012, 07:34 PM

Did you hear Princess Diana was on the radio?

and on the dashboard and on the windshield, and ...

Lola Bunny · 11-20-2012, 07:39 PM

You guys are so bad.....funny, but bad. :p

Spexxvet · 11-21-2012, 08:46 AM

Right about the time Rock Hudson died, Philadelphia Flyers ice hockey goalie Pelle Lindberg died in a car accident. My brother in law, a huge Flyers fan, told me the "Rock Hudson died of botulism - he got bad meat in his can" joke. I asked him if he knew how they determined it was Pelle in the smashed car. He didn't. I told him it because there was a face off in the front seat. He didn't like that. Didn't think it was funny.

infinite monkey · 11-21-2012, 08:55 AM

When Sonny Bono and Michael Kennedy died in skiing accidents, within like 5 days of each other, there was something going around to the effect:

If you do not stop irresponsible logging we will continue to kill one celebrity a week.

Signed,

The Trees

Trilby · 11-21-2012, 09:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by infinite monkey

When Sonny Bono and Michael Kennedy died in skiing accidents, within like 5 days of each other, there was something going around to the effect:

If you do not stop irresponsible logging we will continue to kill one celebrity a week.

Signed,

The Trees

that one is funneh.

Crimson Ghost · 11-21-2012, 04:59 PM

The Lorax co-wrote it.

10-10-2012, 03:43 AM	#4681
ZenGum Doctor Wtf Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Badelaide, Baustralia Posts: 12,861	If life gives you melons, get checked for dyslexia. __________________ Shut up and hug. MoreThanPretty, Nov 5, 2008. Just because I'm nominally polite, does not make me a pussy. Sundae Girl.

10-24-2012, 07:04 AM	#4684
regular.joe Старый сержант Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: NC, dreaming of large Russian women. Posts: 1,464	And I grabbed this off of the internet a few moments ago....maybe this goes in the sometimes the stars align thread? Attached Images __________________ Birth, wealth, and position are valueless during wartime. Man is only judged by his character --Soldier's Testament. Death, like birth, is a secret of Nature. - Marcus Aurelius.

10-24-2012, 04:28 PM	#4686
regular.joe Старый сержант Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: NC, dreaming of large Russian women. Posts: 1,464	Yea, but, you got the joke right? Sent from my ASUS Transformer Pad TF300T using Tapatalk 2 __________________ Birth, wealth, and position are valueless during wartime. Man is only judged by his character --Soldier's Testament. Death, like birth, is a secret of Nature. - Marcus Aurelius.

11-17-2012, 09:24 PM	#4688
toranokaze I'm still a jerk Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Little Mexico Posts: 1,817	My girlfriend asked me to treat her like a princess; so I locked her in a tower __________________ "Without deviation from the norm progress is not possible." - Frank Zappa It is the ignorance of ignorance that lead to the death of knowledge The Virgin Mary does not weep for her son, for he is in paradise. She weeps for the world , for we are in suffering.

11-20-2012, 04:58 AM	#4689
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	...so I crashed her car in a tunnel. What? __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

11-20-2012, 07:34 PM	#4690
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	Did you hear Princess Diana was on the radio? and on the dashboard and on the windshield, and ... __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

11-20-2012, 07:39 PM	#4691
Lola Bunny Junior Master Dwellar Join Date: May 2011 Posts: 2,728	You guys are so bad.....funny, but bad. :p

11-21-2012, 08:46 AM	#4692
Spexxvet Makes some feel uncomfortable Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 10,346	Right about the time Rock Hudson died, Philadelphia Flyers ice hockey goalie Pelle Lindberg died in a car accident. My brother in law, a huge Flyers fan, told me the "Rock Hudson died of botulism - he got bad meat in his can" joke. I asked him if he knew how they determined it was Pelle in the smashed car. He didn't. I told him it because there was a face off in the front seat. He didn't like that. Didn't think it was funny. __________________ "I'm certainly free, nay compelled, to spread the gospel of Spex. " - xoxoxoBruce

11-21-2012, 08:55 AM	#4693
infinite monkey Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 13,002	When Sonny Bono and Michael Kennedy died in skiing accidents, within like 5 days of each other, there was something going around to the effect: If you do not stop irresponsible logging we will continue to kill one celebrity a week. Signed, The Trees

11-21-2012, 04:59 PM	#4695
Crimson Ghost Larger than life and twice as ugly. Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 5,264	The Lorax co-wrote it. __________________ We must all go through a rite of passage. It must be physical, it must be painful, and it must leave a mark. I have no knowledge of the events which you are describing, and if I did have knowledge of them, I would be unable to discuss them with you now or at any future period. Don't waste your time always searching for those wasted years

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