Be a post whore!

[Aliantha]

I was just wondering. I knew someone once who had it, and it took the docs a year or more to figure out that's what it was. What brought it to mind (although I'm sure they're not related) was your Mum being sick now. Just made me think of it that's all.

Hopefully it's not that, but then, it'd be good I guess if you knew what it really was.

[Sundae]

Tcha.
Took them 2 years to diagnose Dad's epilepsy. He was told confidently by his GP that it was a gastric problem.
Thank goodness for Mum pushing and pushing for a proper diagnosis.

Same with Grandad and Parkinson's.
She knew he had it a year before it was officially diagnosed (Great Aunt Emma had it and Mum recognised the symptoms.)

She is wrong sometimes of course.
Two sets of Uncles and Aunts should be dead by now by her reckoning.
But it's good to know she fights when her corner is threatened.

[morethanpretty]

I am not getting Toby back. Right now I'm not really feeling depressed about it which is making me feel guilty. I think part of the reason I'm taking it so well is the meds and that I already accepted the likelihood of them saying no. It does feel a tad unfair though.

[morethanpretty]

Originally Posted by morethanpretty

I am not getting Toby back. Right now I'm not really feeling depressed about it which is making me feel guilty. I think part of the reason I'm taking it so well is the meds and that I already accepted the likelihood of them saying no. It does feel a tad unfair though.

OK I guess I lied. I'm starting to cry now and questioning if I'm even good enough to keep Della.

[xoxoxoBruce]

A good friend is a dog catcher in NJ, and she has contact with a lot of the rescue groups. She gets frustrated as hell with the attitudes of some of these placement people. They are worst than human adoption agencies, and constantly bitch about not being to rescue more dogs but won't give up the ones they have. So don't be so sure it's you, it's likely them.

[DanaC]

I absolutely concur with that Bruce.

Moar, whilst some of the centres employ sensible systems to ensure new owners know what they're taking on and reduce the likelihood of a dog being returned to them at a later date, a lot of them go way too far in there assessment and adoption procedures.

I know quite a few that are, frankly, ridiculous. I know of several people who've gone through similar experiences to yours, where they have taken on a dog to foster with the hope of adopting and then had the rug pulled out from under them because the centre decided they weren't the perfect home for the breed. In one case, they said that the house and environment was not sutable for a bearded collie...not that this would be any kind of a block if they had decided to go buy a puppy. Not everyone has a large secure garden for their dog to play. How is that a reason to deny an adoption, if the person is an experienced dog owner willing to go for two hours of walking every day?

It's shitty. But, please do not internalise their decision as some kind of valid judgement of your capacity to look after a dog. They're being dicks. Be upset that you can't have him, sure. But that's them at fault, not you.

Of course you are good enough to keep Della. Don't let their silliness poison your enjoyment of her. She's a happy little dog and she has a lovely life.

[morethanpretty]

Thank you Dani and Bruce. I'm still upset he isn't mine, but I am feeling better about myself. I know I'm a good home and its sad for Toby that he can't be here with us. I just hope they truly find another good home for him.

[Ocean's Edge]

I'm so sorry More, I've been involved in rescue in one way shape or form for 20+ years now... all I can tell you is "not all rescues are created equal' it's as hard sometimes to find the right rescue organization as it is to find a good/right breeder. Mostly good rescues just want some relative peace of mind that the animal isn't going to end up in distress again (I know one large east coast rescue run by a lawyer who in half jest frequently threatens to knee cap anyone returning a dog that behaves exactly as described ) I'm currently trying to help my mom understand that at 82 yrs old, living alone in an apartment, who needs a walker to get around - looking for a young dog - most rescues aren't going to see her as a good bet. But frankly - making you write a letter to the board??? That really blows my mind.... I've never heard of such a thing.

I'm so sorry they've put you through this.

I'd offer to put you in touch with someone in your area ... but I know, you want your Toby

[morethanpretty]

Originally Posted by Ocean's Edge

I'm so sorry More, I've been involved in rescue in one way shape or form for 20+ years now... all I can tell you is "not all rescues are created equal' it's as hard sometimes to find the right rescue organization as it is to find a good/right breeder. Mostly good rescues just want some relative peace of mind that the animal isn't going to end up in distress again (I know one large east coast rescue run by a lawyer who in half jest frequently threatens to knee cap anyone returning a dog that behaves exactly as described ) I'm currently trying to help my mom understand that at 82 yrs old, living alone in an apartment, who needs a walker to get around - looking for a young dog - most rescues aren't going to see her as a good bet. But frankly - making you write a letter to the board??? That really blows my mind.... I've never heard of such a thing.

I'm so sorry they've put you through this.

I'd offer to put you in touch with someone in your area ... but I know, you want your Toby

Thanks Ocean, I understand their decision, I just wish they would have made it faster. Hopefully in a couple of months I'll be ready for another dog and have a job so I can get one. Della is getting older (she's 5 now) and I really want a younger dog to help keep her active since she doesn't usually play with the dogs at the dog park. She likes to play in the apartment though.

[DanaC]

I understand their decision, having chatted about it, but I think they went about making it in the wrong way. All that waiting and making you jump through hoops was totally unfair and, given the reason for their decision, somewhat irresponsible imo.

[morethanpretty]

I first expected not to get him back, and then they got my hopes up about maybe getting him back only to pull the rug back out from under my feet.

[Sundae]

I've said it before, but you might not have read it MTP.
When I lived in Leicester, I was not allowed a rescue cat/ cats.
Because I lived on a main road.
Even though there were two doors between my flat and the road. And I told them from the start I wanted an indoor cat because I had no secure outdoor space. NB - neither of my boys ever got onto the main road.

It's more common now, in fact the very charities that turned me down now put out Homes Needed notices for "indoor cat only".

But that's why I ended up with two pedigrees.
And because they were older I got them at a discount, and by the time I'd have paid all the fees and the obligatory donation there was only about £50 difference. And I was working then.

The breeder wouldn't have sold to me if she had a crystal ball.
Losing Dylan and leading Diz a rackety old life in other people's houses.
But she didn't and I didn't.
And there is no doubt my remaining boy loves the very bones of me, as I do him - in our different ways.
Physically it would probably still be kinder to give him up.
With my health problems and financial problems I am ill suited to a cat who may start showing signs of old-age soon.
But emotionally and in terms of having formed a bond, I know we would both be miserable apart.

And no, I don't think I am projecting. Cat used to follow me to work. He still follows me about the house. Warm fire and Mum's welcome arms and lap in the living room (she loves both her troubled charges) and he'd still rather sit on my lap in an unheated bedroom while I read. Although I admit I will often pull the duvet up over him. After our freezy time in the draughty Leicester flat his favourite place has always been snoozing on my legs with the covers drawn up over his head
And when I am away (3-5 days max) he hides in my room, comes down to eat, then hides again. He's been living here for ?4? years.

Sorry, none of that helps you.

Just sharing how I feel, in sympathy. A dog on a string sitting next to a busker can be happier and feel more secure than a dog who is scolded every time they walk across the kitchen floor with wet paws or is shut away in a garage with a Mercedes for company all day.

I'm just glad you have Della. And I'm so sorry you were able to form a bond and then have the chance taken away from you. And from Toby.

[morethanpretty]

Originally Posted by Sundae

I've said it before, but you might not have read it MTP.
When I lived in Leicester, I was not allowed a rescue cat/ cats.
Because I lived on a main road.
Even though there were two doors between my flat and the road. And I told them from the start I wanted an indoor cat because I had no secure outdoor space. NB - neither of my boys ever got onto the main road.

It's more common now, in fact the very charities that turned me down now put out Homes Needed notices for "indoor cat only".

But that's why I ended up with two pedigrees.
And because they were older I got them at a discount, and by the time I'd have paid all the fees and the obligatory donation there was only about £50 difference. And I was working then.

The breeder wouldn't have sold to me if she had a crystal ball.
Losing Dylan and leading Diz a rackety old life in other people's houses.
But she didn't and I didn't.
And there is no doubt my remaining boy loves the very bones of me, as I do him - in our different ways.
Physically it would probably still be kinder to give him up.
With my health problems and financial problems I am ill suited to a cat who may start showing signs of old-age soon.
But emotionally and in terms of having formed a bond, I know we would both be miserable apart.

And no, I don't think I am projecting. Cat used to follow me to work. He still follows me about the house. Warm fire and Mum's welcome arms and lap in the living room (she loves both her troubled charges) and he'd still rather sit on my lap in an unheated bedroom while I read. Although I admit I will often pull the duvet up over him. After our freezy time in the draughty Leicester flat his favourite place has always been snoozing on my legs with the covers drawn up over his head
And when I am away (3-5 days max) he hides in my room, comes down to eat, then hides again. He's been living here for ?4? years.

Sorry, none of that helps you.

Just sharing how I feel, in sympathy. A dog on a string sitting next to a busker can be happier and feel more secure than a dog who is scolded every time they walk across the kitchen floor with wet paws or is shut away in a garage with a Mercedes for company all day.

I'm just glad you have Della. And I'm so sorry you were able to form a bond and then have the chance taken away from you. And from Toby.

Thank you Sundae for this. I get what you're saying about the cats, and it helps me not feel like I've been such a bad doggy parent.

[Undertoad]

Shitty rescue groups around here are driving people back to pet stores and Amish puppy mills. I'm certain of it.

[infinite monkey]

They should do something about those Amish puppies.

It gets tiring calling them: Here Ezekial, Here Jebediah, Here Zachariah!

But they're great Lapp dogs.

And forget shock collars. They're electric! (boogie woogie woogie)