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Old 10-22-2014, 01:09 PM   #5191
BigV
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Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter.

The pharmacist at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?"

"Eight", the boy replied.

The man continued, "Do you know what these are used for?"

The boy replied, "Not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him. He's my brother. He's four."

"Oh, really?" the pharmacist replied with a grin.

"Yes." the boy said. "We saw on TV that if you use these, you would be able to swim, play tennis and ride a bike. Right now, he can't do none of those."
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Old 10-23-2014, 03:45 PM   #5192
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Old 10-23-2014, 06:08 PM   #5193
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Hahahahahaah. that perfectly describes my current situation.
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Old 10-29-2014, 12:35 PM   #5194
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Old 10-29-2014, 10:13 PM   #5195
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"Doctor," said the patient anxiously, "will I be able to play the piano after this surgery?"

"Of course," the doctor replied in a soothing voice. "You'll be able to play beautifully."

"That's great, doc! I never could play before!"
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Old 11-01-2014, 11:57 AM   #5196
Carruthers
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After Hallowe'en, here's a recipe for Pumpkin Pie:

Divide the circumference by the diameter.
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Old 11-01-2014, 12:56 PM   #5197
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Old 11-01-2014, 01:38 PM   #5198
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hahahahahahaha. Dark. Funny, but dark.
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Old 11-01-2014, 10:56 PM   #5199
xoxoxoBruce
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Insult 'em all...

Q. What's the Cuban National Anthem?
A. Row, Row, Row Your Boat.

Q. Where does an Irish family go on vacation ?
A. To a different bar.

Q. What did the Chinese couple name their tan, curly-haired baby?
A. Sum Ting Wong .

Q. What do you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A. A speech impediment.

Q. Why aren't there any Afro-Americans on Star Trek?
A. Because they're not going to work in the future either.

Q. Why do Driver Ed classes in redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
A. Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

Q. What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A. The southern zoo has a description of the animal along with a recipe.

Q. How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the 'F' word?
A. Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell, 'BINGO!'

Q. What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A. A northern fairytale begins, ....'Once upon a time...' A southern fairytale begins,... 'Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit.'

Q. Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
A. Because all the Mexicans who can run, jump or swim are already in the United States.
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Old 11-02-2014, 01:59 PM   #5200
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Q. Why do Driver Ed classes in redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
A. Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
Ha!
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Old 11-02-2014, 02:07 PM   #5201
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Quote:
Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce View Post
Insult 'em all...
Well, at least the English emerged unscathed.





Tick tock, tick tock....
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Old 11-02-2014, 02:13 PM   #5202
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How many Englishmen does it take to change a light bulb?

What do you mean change it? It's a perfectly good bloody bulb! We have had it for a thousand years and it has worked just fine.
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Old 11-02-2014, 02:15 PM   #5203
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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There's only so much punishment a man can take in pursuit of punani. - Sundae
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Old 11-09-2014, 05:59 PM   #5204
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Down at the home...
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Old 11-09-2014, 08:44 PM   #5205
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