Sitting on the fence....

[DucksNuts]

I've been going over this in my mind for a few days, and I just cant come to a conclusion that I am comfortable with.....sooooo, thought I would throw it out there and get some different perspectives.

Say you know someone, who has 2 children, but always wanted 3.....always...like saw it in her *dreams* forever and doesnt seem to be able to be feel *done* with the 2 children that she has.

Problem is, her EX husband, is ...well....her ex husband.... she feels her body clock is ticking and although she has been seeing someone for a few months now...natch, its gonna be a loooooong way off before they have that conversation and their views dont seem to be aligning in that particular department.

So, she says to you, her long time friend.....she WANTS to have another baby and she doesnt think she should (or can) wait until the 15 different things that need to align with that certain person.... that she may never meet....happen and THEN they decide to go down the path of trying to get pregnant....by which time she will be into the *increased risk* age group.

The next thing out of her mouth is......"Should I just get knocked up by somebody?, or do you really think I should consider genetics and whatnot?"

<<< Im pretty sure my face looked like that....then I started thinking about it.

When you meet someone, and you start dating....you dont ask about their genetics and whether there is a history of a,b,c in their family?

When you are sleeping with a new partner that you trust and there is always the risk you may get pregnant....you dont think about their genetics do you?

She is raising 2 children on her own now, so she isnt ill informed there and she made it blatantly clear that she wants NO financial involvement from the sperm donour, or parental involvement for that matter.

I'm like...."what about STIs?, will it be someone you know?, one nite stands?, what if they want to be involved?, what about the child? how will you explain you just wanted to have another baby? what about future partners?".

To which she said..."obviously I have a lot of thinking to do".

Couple of days later, she blurts out with "I asked J if he would be a willing donour and he said yes".

WTF? J is a guy who we have been friends with for 10 years, there has always been a bit of attraction there I reckon, but the timing has never been right.

Honestly though, he's great sperm potential. Smart, courteous, good looking, small family with no real big health issues (we are all close)....hell...I wouldnt mind having a baby with him.

Pragmatic as all fuck, and maybe apathetic (?) towards life....but I dont know if I could see him just fucking her and then not being involved with the rest of the process....hes not that kinda guy...but its what she wants?

She doesnt want to go down the whole sperm bank route, and I dont think she would be able to considering her circumstances.

Adoption? probably not an option for the same reasons.

Look, I know its wrong....but shes a really logical chick and makes some really good points.

Honestly, if she wanted too....she could just go out and pick up until she got pregnant.

I....just....dont....know......