OMG LEGO MAKES YOU GAY!

[ZenGum]

Where to put this? Politics? Health? Relationships? Parenting? Meh, here'll do.


Whet your appetite:




Wait, what?

Read the whole story, damn near every sentence is insanely hilarious. Some favourites:

The basic block was designed to mimic the human form. Four rows of two dots: the top represent eyes, the middle breasts, below is either the male testicles or the female ovaries, and at bottom are the Dane’s bare feet. Yes, the toy is shocking in its graphic sexual nature, but the Danish people loved them.

For American tourists, it is a very odd place and many prefer to visit the far more fascinating cultures of France and Italy. Nearby, the nation of Sweden offers superior outdoor activities such as skiing and hiking, while the Germans to the south are known as a more hospitable, gentler people who welcome the wisdom and joyfulness of citizens from the United States.

As the Lego reached its height of popularity in the late 1970s, children learned that they could attach these plastic people together any way they wanted. The feminine-colored ones fit into the masculine-colored ones, of course, but you could also snap two or even five men together quite easily and that was thrilling in a secret, homoerotic way. The same was true of the female part and the sad result was a generation of severe, moody Danish lesbians. Because of the dependence on the backside (the empty space) of the Lego, children were taught that bodies could connect through human backsides. In other words, the Lego introduced children to the idea of anal sodomy and made it seem like a pleasant, Danish game.

Spoiler alert:
Yeah, I know, Christwire is a satire. Shoosh, let's enjoy the laugh..