Computers SUCK!!!

[Undertoad]

Answers! I got answers!

Where is this cloud exactly?

In data centers around the world, usually located where there is cheap reliable power, decent cooling, or both.

Who controls it?

The employees of major corporations such as Google, Microsoft, Apple.

Who has access to my personal shit?

Nobody; it's entirely encrypted, even when it's stored.

If they break my personal shit, do they guarantee repairs or compensation?

It doesn't break. Famous last words, but everything's backed up and redundant.

The whole thing is, they do a better job at managing data than we do. If your personal shit breaks at home, you have no recourse either -- and because nobody manages their data well, everybody's shit breaks at home. Watch this:

Hands up, everyone with offsite backups and your data in a RAID?

Nobody's hand went up! Of course not, we're all just putting everything on our hard drive, and hoping for the best. That's not really working for us. Hard drives die at a rate of apx. 2% per year. That's terrible odds! But Google has offsite backups and RAIDs and professionals managing all of it. When their hard drives die, they hot-swap them and rebuild the data. Everything stays online and nobody even realizes it happened.

Big companies that use the cloud have data breaches all the freakin' time.
My computer/data has never been breached, as far as I can tell. And aren't there viruses roaming around out there in the ether?

I haven't heard of a cloud breach yet.