How Bat-Man spends a typical Bat-Day

[Nothing But Net]

First, he gets up from the Bat-Bed and heads straight for the Bat-Room. He prefers a Bat-Shower over a Bat-Bath because it is easier to Bat-Shave. If he nicks his Bat-Face, he may occasionally be heard to say "Bat-Shit!". Then he calls Alfred to come up and give him a Bat-Rub. If he feels like a bit of Bat-Exercise, he my take a brisk Bat-Walk, or he may go to his personal Bat-Cage for some Bat-Ting practice with his custom-made Bat-Bat.

By this time Robin is up, so he goes and checks his room for an egg. Usually he never finds one, so he tells Robin to go to the fabric store to pick up some Bat-Ting for the Bat-Quilt Aunt Harriet is making, then pick up Bat-Girl, as she is coming over for a Bat-Lunch.

He's hoping she's in a Bat-Mood today, because he hasn't had any Bat-Sex in a while. It turns out she's having her Bat-Period, and it's a messy one. So they decide to go for a Bat-Drive. But the Bat-Mobile is low on fuel, and the Bat-Plutonium station is closed today, so they have to take the Bat-Cycle.

While cruising throught the Bat-Woods, the Bat-Vibrations of the Bat-Engine start turning Bat-Girl on, so she asks Bat-Man to pull off on a Bat-Road. He does, and then looks for the Bat-Condoms in his Utility Belt, but <i>"Curses"</i>, that's the only thing he doesn't have in there. He tries to placate Bat-Girl be telling her "Hey, I'm a Bat. I suck blood, so if I had Bat-HIV I would know it by now". But Bat-Girl is having none of this, so they tear off bat home, and Bat-Man is getting a serious case of Bat-Blue-Balls.

Tune in later, same Bat-Thread, same Bat-Cellar.