Merry F'in Christmas - I want a divorce.

[lookout123]

i guess i should update this. i look forward to asking UT to lock this thread in the near future. not yet, but soon.

we have agreed on 99.9% of everything that goes into the decree so I will have my attorney draft that all up this week.

life is weird, because i still do not want a divorce, still don't believe that our marriage is unfixable (if 2 people just decide they want to), but i have gotten my mind wrapped around the concept of being divorced. things get better day by day, well mostly - 3 steps forward, 1 step back and all that jazz.

life is even more weird because our interactions are more like a couple in the fairly early stages of serious dating rather than the tail end of a divorce. she has, at different times, stated that she still loves me, doesn't really want a divorce, knows that this is a mistake... but "if we don't do this now, it'll just happen some other time."

in the end i've come to the realization that the woman i've loved - and still do love - is in there somewhere, but she is choosing to be someone different for some unknown reason. i don't much care for the new person. i wouldn't marry the new person if given the choice so i'm done fighting for a marriage to this new person. it sucks, but that's life.

i close on the new house 5/15. certainly not anything approaching my dream home, or even my current home, but at only 50% the price it is a fair value and it will get me through a year or two. friday i went and bought an entire household of new furniture. expensive. but good therapy. bringing in the new stuff.

that's about it folks. thanks for your continued encouragement.