Rachael's Rays

[Pangloss62]

The poularity of Rachael Ray, that generically handsome and perky "chef" of easy to understand and make recipies and meals, has become almost unbearable. Only if you live under a rock have you not seen her; she is ubiquitous at present, and let me tell you why:

She has the highest positive response in brain-analysed focus groups. That's how it works these days. It's not about raw talent, or intelligence, or class, or even subject matter knowledge. If the brain scans show positive response to the face, speaking style, and overall physical presence, it becomes a done deal.


Isn't she cute!!! How could you NOT like her?

To women, Rachael Ray is that unthreatening friend that makes them feel good and, while attractive, is not "too" sexy and will not try to seduce and fuck their husbands (she's married, after all). To men, she is that friend of their wives who they'd like to fuck, but that they know their wives would probably not think so. Men can watch the show with their wives that way.

Other factors like the fact she won't make you uncomfortable about your general lack of skill and knowledge in the cullinary arts and that her meals are "quick" and "easy" certainly help. But in the end, it's her generic (and unthreatening) good looks, relatively small breasts, and friendly (and unthreatening) manner that takes the day...and the night, and the TV talk show she now has, and the magazines, and the numerous cooking books, and now the labels of any number of Nabisco products for which she is now the spokesperson. All because the focus group people's brain scans show purple and yellow in the right places when they watch her. Hooray for technology! Let us know when you guys get that AIDS thing under control.


In a not-so-small minority of people, however, the Rachael Ray brain scans come out SCREAMING hatred and disdain. These Rachel Haters have their own Web sites where they can commiserate on their mutual disregard for the popular woman. Their main complaint is how she's "dumbed down" the cullinary arts (cooking) and that, well, she's too popular.

What do I think? I don't really care because I have no urge or need to watch her. I'm kinda annoyed that now she's plastered all over every box of Triscuits, Wheat Thins, and other Nabisco products, and you have to wonder how sophisticated her recipies are if Triscuits and Wheat Thins are important staples in her cuisine, but what can you do? This is her time.