How to Tell If You've Been Kidnapped by a Space Alien

[wolf]

I was throwing out some stuff and found a rolodex from a company that I had worked for eleven years ago. (yes, the aforementioned company that went belly up and forced me into the fascinating world of mental health).

I went through it, just in case there was some useful information in there. When I was done I had a six inch high pile of cards for companies that no longer exist (including NCR tech support, of all things) and people I no longer know.

There were three card containing valid information ... and that was my friend's PARENTS phone numbers.

What does all this have to do with the title of this post, you wonder?

I found a yellowed piece of newsprint tucked in between two of the cards.

Mind you, this Rolodex has been in an assortment of boxes, and was most recently recovered upside-down from a closet floor.

It's a clipping from that most educational of publications, The Weekly World News. You will likely remember them for their insightful, sensitive, ongoing series on "The Bat Boy" and their amazing cover photos "Satan's Face Seen In Smoke from WTC" and "Clinton Shakes Hands with Space Alien."

The piece is dated June 23, 1992.

Since I considered it important enough to save in my rolodex as the company was going down the tubes, I reproduce the article without permission here.

"It is possible you have been abducted by space aliens and don't know it!

An incredible new survey by the Rober Organization suggests that 3.6 million Americans — or one in 50 — may have been involved in a UFO abduction. All have experienced one or more of the following clues:

• Awakening paralyzed, sensing a strange presence.
• Discovering an hour or more of "missing time."
• Seeing unusual lights or balls of light in a room.
• Discovering scars on your body without remembering how they got there."