Verbal smackdowns

[ZenGum]

There are many sharp wits and sharper tongues in the cellar, and sometimes it becomes necessary to administer a good verbal smackdown. What were your best?
Please distinguish between ones where you actually said it, and ones where you thought it but didn't say it, and ones where you thought of it five minutes later.

Here's mine:


Religious wanker: This pamplet could change your life! (inane smile)
Zengum (actually said): I like my life how it is, thanks.
Zengum (should have said): At least I've got a life, loser.