Stupid Texas

[SamIam]

One of my closest friends is relocating to Texas at the end of the month. I can understand people doing the opposite and coming to Colorado. But what on earth is in Texas?? I'll tell you: smashed armadillos in the middle of the road, tumble weeds big enough to carry away poodles, flat, flat, flat as far as the eye can see, women wearing what amounts to masks of Mary Kay cosmetics, summers that only a bedoin can withstand, and last but not least - the Bush family.

And guess what my friend is going to do? Sell avertisements on bar glasses. Like "Drunk? Called the Armadillo Cab Company!" or "DUI? Call GW's second cousin. We got GW off and we'll get you off!"

You can't tell me a person can make a living selling ads on bar classes. The patrons are two sauced to read them, anyhow.

And why is she really going? To take up with an old BF named Steve who lives in the Plano/OK Dallas area. If he wasn't right the first time around, why should he be right this time? He probably spends all his time trying to decipher the writing on bar glasses.

I want to throw my body in front of my friend's U-Haul, but I don't think this would stop her. So, I'm writing this hate letter to Texas instead. Somebody should have bombed the place years ago./end rant