11/17/2003: Fijian apology rites

Undertoad · 11-17-2003, 01:43 PM

In 1867, British missionary Rev. Thomas Baker set foot on Fiji, intent on teaching the natives a bit of the old-time religion. The natives set upon him and, perhaps confused over that whole "body of Christ" thing, ate him and his whole team.

Sadly, since then the community is wracked with guilt, and they really wonder whether it was a bad idea to eat the guy, and maybe they should have just told him they were not interested and maybe he could try the island next door.

In fact, many believe that their community is still cursed. And so they developed this huge elaborate apology ceremony, in which guys like the above carry traditional war axes and look real fierce but will not eat you under any circumstances.

I mean, you think 7 years of bad luck for breaking a mirror is bad. It's been 136 years and so far even the children's children's children's children are affected.

Well, hopefully the apology will work this time and this little village can get on with its life.

I'll bet they're vegans.

11-17-2003, 01:43 PM	#1
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	11/17/2003: Fijian apology rites In 1867, British missionary Rev. Thomas Baker set foot on Fiji, intent on teaching the natives a bit of the old-time religion. The natives set upon him and, perhaps confused over that whole "body of Christ" thing, ate him and his whole team. Sadly, since then the community is wracked with guilt, and they really wonder whether it was a bad idea to eat the guy, and maybe they should have just told him they were not interested and maybe he could try the island next door. In fact, many believe that their community is still cursed. And so they developed this huge elaborate apology ceremony, in which guys like the above carry traditional war axes and look real fierce but will not eat you under any circumstances. I mean, you think 7 years of bad luck for breaking a mirror is bad. It's been 136 years and so far even the children's children's children's children are affected. Well, hopefully the apology will work this time and this little village can get on with its life. I'll bet they're vegans.

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