Tasteless Jokes

[buttless]

Three fags are sitting in a hot tub just relaxing when a huge glob of semen floats to the surface,

One of the fags looks up and says "Hey! Who farted?"

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Have you ever heard the motto of the Greek army?
Never leave your buddy's behind.

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Some guy just knocked on my door selling raffle tickets for poor black orphans. I said, “Fuck that – knowing my luck, I’d win one!”

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Got this text from my brother recently.
It read. “Can I stay at your house for a while?

The ol' Lady kicked me out after she caught me measuring my cock.
.... It just reaches the back of her sister’s throat!”

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I was banging this nice Lady over her kitchen table when we heard the front door open.
She said, “It’s my husband! Quick, try the back door!”
Thinking back, I really should have ran – but you don’t get offers like that every day.

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I saw a fortune teller the other day.
She told me I would come into some money.
Last night I fucked a girl called Penny – is that spooky or what?

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The missus asked me, “When you’re on a boys only trip away, do you think about me?”
.... Apparently “Only to stop myself from coming too quickly” wasn’t the right answer.