Do you like screwin' with peoples minds?

[buttless]

First off there are some very basic guide lines to keep yourself out of trouble.

1. DON'T be abusive in any way shape or form.
2. Be sure your victim can not depart from the situation.
3. Be sure your victim is in a position where they can not react negatively to what you will do. (hence rule #1)

Here's what I did a couple weeks ago just to amuse myself.
Walking to the store I see a Panda Express Restaurant and think to myself, somebody in there needs to be fucked with. I do this knowing I will not actually be orfering anything.

Underpaid Panda Express employee: Good afternoon, how may I help you?
Me: Ummm.... Let's see... How about some of the sweet and sour panda.
Underpaid Panda Express employee: Uhhh... We don't have that sir.
Me: Ok.. How about the Kung Pao Panda?
Underpaid Panda Express employee: I'm sorry sir but we don't have that either.
Me: (with just a hint of attitude in my voice) Fine... Then I guess I will have to settle for the Panda Fried Rice then.
Underpaid Panda Express employee: Sir, do you realize that the panda bear is an endangered species?
Me: Of course I do. That's why I want some. How will I be able to get some once they are extinct?

At this point the girl is just a bit flustered and has no idea what to do about me.

Me: Ok, see if you understand this. Let's say I have a restaurant called Chicken Express. What do you think I would be serving there?
Underpaid Panda Express employee: (with a little hesitation) Chicken?
Me: Right! What if the place was called Burger express?
Underpaid Panda Express employee: Burgers of course.
Me: Right again! So here we are in Panda Express and I can't seem to get ANY panda! What's wrong with this picture?

Now there are people lining up behind me waiting to order. Surprisingly all of them have grins on there faces having been entertained before their meal.

At this point I juast throw up my arms in frustration, say "Aww the hell with it", and stomp out the front door.

Did I actually do this?
Hell yes.