More bad karma. Or something.

orthodoc · 08-20-2012, 06:15 PM

I did it, I emailed my ex and told him he had to back off and respect the boundaries I've set. Sounds lame, or at least anticlimactic, put like that. But I feel such a lifting of this huge burden, as his hoovering got stronger and stronger and my life seemed to be veering out of my control.

Saw a counselor on the oncology team today who listened for an hour and diagnosed me with PTSD. It's not like I didn't know it already, but ... guess I have the official word now. Whatever, it doesn't change anything. I still wake in the night repeatedly, checking my environment for syringes, paralyzing drugs, pentothal in lethal doses etc. - all the things my ex threatened years ago. He was just being cruel; I know now that it wasn't ever a practical threat. But my body doesn't know that. I still sleep like a prey animal.

08-20-2012, 06:15 PM	#31
orthodoc Not Suspicious, Merely Canadian Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 3,774	I did it, I emailed my ex and told him he had to back off and respect the boundaries I've set. Sounds lame, or at least anticlimactic, put like that. But I feel such a lifting of this huge burden, as his hoovering got stronger and stronger and my life seemed to be veering out of my control. Saw a counselor on the oncology team today who listened for an hour and diagnosed me with PTSD. It's not like I didn't know it already, but ... guess I have the official word now. Whatever, it doesn't change anything. I still wake in the night repeatedly, checking my environment for syringes, paralyzing drugs, pentothal in lethal doses etc. - all the things my ex threatened years ago. He was just being cruel; I know now that it wasn't ever a practical threat. But my body doesn't know that. I still sleep like a prey animal. __________________ The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated. - Ghandi

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