What is pissing you off this time?

[anonymous]

My sister is pissing me off. She's got a ton of problems. I want to help as much as I can, but I can't help as much as I want. And I definitely can't help as much as she wants. Her mental illness makes communicating with her difficult. Worse, some the communication habits we share are like landmines. She's annoying to talk with. She's a poor listener. She's an inveterate, hardened contradictor. "No, it's not." she'll blithely reply. Even if I've just changed my position by 180 degrees. I don't know why she does this, but it's a conversation killer. It's not really argumentation, it's just a reflex, without real content, like Tourette's. It is fucking exhausting.

I want to listen to her but I have limits that are far lower than her apparent need. And she can't just end the conversation nicely, ok, thanks, nice catching up with you, tell me what happens next week with xyz, love you, bye. Nope. Sometimes there's more arguing on any of the normal sign off signals, sometimes there's a desperate "Oh, wait, just one quick question... (with the emphasis on the ellipsis). Then when I've rebutted all her arguments, and asserted myself to wrap it up, she scolds and moralizes and shames, "Mom and Dad would never have accepted ____!". I often get wound up and wind up cursing, at the top of my lungs before I slam the phone down.

Then (yes, there's more) come the repeated calls. I have voicemails that are staggeringly unintelligible. So incoherent that the voice-to-text bot that puts the messages in my email just gives up. I feel for you my robot brother.

So much for the good news, all the above is worse when she's been drinking. OMG.

I guess I'll resign myself to the idea that I'm helping her as much as I'm able by listening to her as much as I do.

Ok, rant over. Jesus, she's an ordeal.