Oopsies and other strange, interesting, and useless information....

[Lady Sidhe]

Driving School: Real answers received on exams given by the
California Department of Transportation's driving school:

Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?
A: What for? He can't see my license plate.

Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-
way stop at the same time?
A: The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper
sticker saying, "Guns don't kill people. I do."

Q: When driving through fog, what should you use?
A: Your car.

Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could
no longer drive lawfully?
A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully.

Q: What are some points to remember when passing or being
passed?
A: Make eye contact and wave "hello" if he/she is cute.

Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic
light and a flashing yellow traffic light?
A: The color.

Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic?
A: Heavy psychedelics.







Bizarre Doctors' Notes

[These are actual notes taken from patient charts.]

"The patient complains of a dry cough that hurts when he
coughs and also when he takes deep breaths for 4 days."

"While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated, and sent home."

"Patient had waffles for breakfast, and anorexia for lunch."

"The patient states there is a burning pain in his penis
which goes to his feet."

"Patient was alert and unresponsive."

"Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for
over a year."

"The patient has no past history of suicides."

"The patient left the hospital feeling much better except
for her original complaints."

"Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.

"The other foot has the missing toe."



A West Bend man is suing the cable company that he feels
made him addicted to TV, caused his wife to be overweight
and his kids to be lazy. Timothy Dumouchel is asking for
$5,000 or three computers, and a lifetime supply of free
Internet service from Charter Communications to settle a
small claims suit. Dumouchel told Charter that he plans to
sue because his cable connection remained intact four years
after he tried to get it canceled. "I believe that the rea-
son I smoke and drink every day and my wife is overweight
is because we watched TV every day for the last four years,"
Dumouchel stated in a written complaint against the company.
He stated that he called Charter several times to get the
service disconnected for good because he felt it was
addictive, but they reportedly never did.


Sidhe