A new chapter

[perth]

To transform the emptiness of loneliness, to the fullness of aloneness. Ah, that is the secret of life.

- Sunita Khosla

So, as of Wednesday the 12th, I have my own place and am living on my own again for the first time in about 5 years. It's probably vanity or insecurity, or a bit of both, but I wanted to share some things I've experienced since then...

I've become far more adventurous in my cooking. I'm willing to try things I never would have attempted before. I attribute this to the fact that I have no one to complain about my cooking but myself. Below is a recipe I tried tonight, but I'm not sure I liked it, feel free to suggest modifications:

Marinade:
Fresh lime juice
A tiny bit of soy sauce
Crushed garlic
Fresh ground black pepper
A fuckton of dill

Marinate chicken in the above concoction for about an hour. Place the chicke on a pan and sprinkle with kosher salt. Bake until cooked through. Serve with rice, the sticky kind. I don't think dill and lime go together.

I'm no longer squeamish about touching raw meat. I have no idea how or why this happened, it just did.

I haven't craved cigarettes the way I always have. I still *want* one, but find it much easier to resist (though tonight is admittedly tougher than it ever has been before).

I'm cleaner. The kitchen is still spotless after 3 nights of cooking. That's just weird. Same goes for the rest of the house. I'm making my bed, for Pete's sake.

I'm losing weight. This has been going on for a couple months anyways, but I've dropped probably 10 pounds in the last 2 weeks. There's an old Onion article out there talking about someone getting back down to "dating weight" and thats what I call it, though I'm really not into dating right now. I'm down a total of 25 pounds now. Say, 30 more and I'll be really happy.

I'm happy. From the time Case and I decided to split until the moment I finished moving into my new place, I was absolutely miserable. I hated life, I hated myself and I hated Case. I don't feel any of those things anymore. I finally feel at peace. I feel like I can be friends with Case. We went to breakfast Thursday morning after filling out all our paperwork at the paralegal's office. And I felt like I was having breakfast with a friend. We have a child together, and I cannot tell you how pleased I am that I feel I can still get along with her.

So that's how I'm feeling now. Yay me.