Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy

[ladysycamore]

Originally Posted by Cyber Wolf

Did anyone here ever get told to go to bed and stay there or the 'thing in the closet' or 'thing under the bed' would get you? How about the bogeyman?

Oh hell no! I was already a big old wuss when it came to the dark and what may or may not lurk in it.

[Cyber Wolf]

My parents never really did the bogeyman thing when I was little but they didn't need to. The quartersized spider I came face to face with while spelunking under my bed was plenty and that was VERY real.

[wolf]

Originally Posted by Cyber Wolf

Did anyone here ever get told to go to bed and stay there or the 'thing in the closet' or 'thing under the bed' would get you? How about the bogeyman?

I spent my childhood being on good speaking terms with the thing under the bed. I only interacted with the thing in the closet on UTB's days off.

[LSMFT]

My parents had an odd twist on the Santa thing. I remember My Dad being the last one after myself and my sister still believing. We both (at 6 & 8) felt so horrible having to tell him that it was just a story for kids.

[wolf]

Juju will have to let us know when the time comes.

[Clodfobble]

There's no hoohah over enhancing the holidays with traditional fantasy stories. The problem comes when parents go to extreme lengths to continue the lie long after the children are old enough to be let in on the secret.

Make-believe only works as a developmental tool when the children know it's make-believe. Otherwise it confuses them. If you tell your child that she's a real, honest-to-goodness princess, and keep the story going for years on end, it will be crushing to her when she finally figures out she's just an average kid, and she can't afford her own stable of horses, and she can't have servants do all her chores. But if she knows she's a normal person and that it's a game to pretend to be a princess, she will enjoy it.

I personally think it's just as damaging to constantly remind the child that there is no Santa Claus and not allow them to relish the games. As long as they know it's all in fun, there's no harm.

[Undertoad]

Katkeeper didn't maintain any such lies as far back as I can remember, and at one point said that she regretted it as it left me with no imagination. I disregarded her comment as blankly irrelevant and went about my automatonic day.

[perth]

I dunno, I think a strong case can be made for your abundance of imagination based solely on the nick "Undertoad". I found it to be particularly clever when I first arrived.

[Troubleshooter]

I see no reason to encourage adults, much less children, in such things as the fiscally driven holidays.

The tooth fairy is a self-solving problem, hopefully.

Imaginary friends are inexpensive and can last a lifetime if really necessary.

I'm going to do my best to discourage Little Sidhe from non-secular holidays for the same reason I'm going to discourage her from religion in the first place. I'm also going to discourage her from any secular holidays unless they are for people or ideas that are sound.

Lady Sidhe will of course vehemently oppose such a Scroogian attitude.

[Lady Sidhe]

Originally Posted by Troubleshooter

I see no reason to encourage adults, much less children, in such things as the fiscally driven holidays.

The tooth fairy is a self-solving problem, hopefully.

Imaginary friends are inexpensive and can last a lifetime if really necessary.

I'm going to do my best to discourage Little Sidhe from non-secular holidays for the same reason I'm going to discourage her from religion in the first place. I'm also going to discourage her from any secular holidays unless they are for people or ideas that are sound.

Lady Sidhe will of course vehemently oppose such a Scroogian attitude.

Yup, you're right.

TS hates the holidays. Too much traffic, and everything's closed. Massive inconvenience. I can understand not liking the BS that goes along with the holidays, but the holidays themselves can be fun, especially if you have a child to vicariously enjoy them through.

As to religion, I think that the fact that I'm Pagan and TS is Agnostic will be good for her. It'll give her a good questioning attitude. I intend to raise her pagan, with all our groovy holidays, though.

And I wasn't feeling attacked...I can completely understand telling your kids the truth if they ask. But if they don't ask, why take the fun away? When my daughter asks if they're real, I'll explain to her where they come from. I won't lie to her. But I'm going to let her anticipate and have fun for as long as I can.

Bah, humbug n' stuff--

Sidhe

[perth]

So something interesting happened to me last night.

I've looked back through my comments in this thread, and I know the following will come off as hypocrisy, because it probably IS.

I took Jamey to the mall to find a nice outfit for his Christmas pictures. We happened to pass by Santa's little outpost, and Jamey went *nuts* over seeing Santa. I had never seen him that thrilled about anything, and what made it stranger is that I've made a point of not making "Santa" a big thing. He asked if he could tell Santa what he wanted, and I found I just didn't have it in me to say no. But more than that, I was excited at the chance to get pictures of him with Santa.

We got in the (mercifully short) line and when his turn arrived, he practically bolted to the guy in the suit, hopped up and started telling him what a good boy he was. He grinned from ear-to-ear for the picture, and talked about it for the rest of the evening.

So I really don't know how I feel about it anymore. I think a lot of factors are involved here, but I just don't find myself inclined to actively discourage belief in Santa anymore. That's not to say I'm going to encourage it, and when he asks me, I'm going to be honest about it. But the pure joy I saw in his face last night taught me something important. Sometimes what's called for is a little less "dad" and a little more "friend".

[Clodfobble]

There's no shame in changing your mind based on how it affects your child. That's not hypocrisy; it's adjusting your parenting to fit the child. If someday you are faced with another child who happens to be terrified of Santa, you will be able to actively reassure that child from the beginning that Santa isn't real, and it won't be hypocrisy then either. You can never know for sure what's best for each child until they get there.

[warch]

Its good to play with your kids. Santa is fun. He is play and make believe. He's hope and anticipation and suspense and delight. No wonder hes a popular dude. Go with it in the spirit of play. Dont use santa for serious blackmail, maybe only to get kids to bed on time.

[cjjulie]

We do both the tooth fairy and santa. No harm done. It is all part of being a kid.

[ladysycamore]

*chuckling*

I was just having a flashback of when I told my parents that there isn't any Santa. Yes, I said, *I* told THEM, not the other way around. :p

Basically, it was all about process of elimination.

Ok, so the story basically says that Santa would ride across the sky in a sleigh pulled by reindeers (and one with a red nose even!). And that he would deliver toys to all the good little girls and boys all over the world...in one night! Wow! And he would do all of this by sliding down the chimney.

Ok, here's the conclusion I cam to after thinking about all of that:

1) Just the thought of this dude flying in a sleigh didn't seem..."right" to me. (and yes, I thought that at the age of 8!). Yeah, yeah..magic..blah blah...

2) Delivery..all in one night???? Even UPS isn't that good...lol! And as far as "good" boys and girls...oh come on. You know that there were times when you were not as "good" as you should have been close to Christmas time.

3) A chimney? We didn't have no damned chimney! OR a fireplace!

4) Saw my dad one year putting the presents under the tree.

So,that was that. I told my parents the next day at breakfast what I had seen and what conclusion I came to. LOL, I think my dad was relieved a bit that he didn't have to tell me.

And, of course, they didn't have to tell me about the Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, etc. either.