how far are yo uwilling to go to please your partner?

[elf]

une important thing: Safeword.

If you decide that this is something you would like to do for her, establish a safeword for her to use if things get out of hand. This way, she can tell you "nonono" all she wants, and you won't have to worry that she might really mean it. And it gives her a reliable way to let you know if something's truly wrong.

The most effective safeword system I've seen has two words, usually "Yellow" and "Red". If she says yellow, she means a warning, please don't do that, and you can ease up a little or change tactics. Red would mean Stop. At which point you stop what you're doing completely and find out what's wrong.

As far as after-scene dynamics. . . well, I don't have much advice for that. I've lived things like this for a long time, and to explain it would be difficult for me. It'd be like trying to explain a breath of fresh air. I don't know how.

Keeping Wolf's point in mind, make sure you know just what it is she wants. (does she want to be tied up? would she want to be slapped/hit? or is she just looking for a struggle?) You'll have to really really talk about it. In detail.

Bringing her fantasy into reality doesn't make you a bad person. Her having this fantasy doesn't make her a bad person (or crazy or wrong or broken) There's nothing wrong here. It took me quite the long while to figure that part out for myself, and I'm looking at it from her point of view.

<small>I hope I don't sound preachy, I don't mean to. . .