Parenting and teenage relationships

[Catwoman]

OC I actually agree with you to a point.

I see so many kids brought up in ill-prepared homes; parents either too young, too poor or too stupid. The children have the run of the house, they are bad-mannered, thoughtless and irresponsible. Of course, none of that really matters until they do something stupid: like commit a crime, or gleefully reproduce their useless selves by squirting up a pert young filly.

Now, who is responsible for these hormone fuelled atrocities? I for one, blame the parents. We are too afraid of discipline these days, and for those parents who are not blessed with perceptive, intelligent offspring (jag) - the little blighters need controlling. I know two parents whose 5 year old child is a nightmare - rude, screechy and utterly intolerable. The parents are very soft on her, and try to talk with her like an adult, and with respect. This doesn't work! Of course, in an ideal world we would all be having harmonious, thoughtful discourse with our children, but not all children are capable of such harmony, and parents that believe they should be treated with respect and beguiled with careful adult interaction, should at least be aware that often nothing but a jolly hard spank will suffice.

Now back to the teenage years and the matter of discipline is slightly more cumbersome, your child having formed his identity and become a 'young adult'. I am capable of rational thought and decision making, he says to himself, and who is this old battleaxe - whose life experience leaves much to be desired - to tell me what to do? (I know, I've been that kid) The worst thing you can do is tell him anything (it will alienate you, and significantly, it won't work). So, how best to control thy unwilling subject?

An authoritative stance, consistency and most importantly you have to get it right. It's no good being assertive and dominant if you're talking out your backside. The truth will make itself known in the end - and if it turns out you're right about this fretful little situation - your son will remember. (Many a time I've proverbially slapped myself when I come out of such a situation to realise at last what my mum had been trying to tell me for three long years).

Ultimately, you cannot change anyone, but you can certainly be there, quietly getting it right, and waiting for him to realise. This is the best thing you can do. I hope you do get it right.