Hall of Fame

[BigV]

Our beloved cellar is inhabited by a wide range of people, with an equally wide range of writing talent, style, humor, insight, passion and creativity. Many of the comments I've read were so funny or so insightful that I have enjoyed reading them again and again. But conversations here in the cellar pay no heed to my desires and the post that was precious yesterday will be lost in the cacophany of posts a week later.



This thread is intended to preserve those posts in one place, a Hall of Fame for posts so funny, insightful, or incendiary that they deserve to be remembered. Posts so passionate, so right, or so, so wrong that you want to hang it on the wall like a trophy. Post the remarks and include a link to the post for a frame of reference in case the context matters. This is the place, our own Hall of Fame.

[BigV]

As promised, one of our charter members in the Hall of Fame, from the talented fingers of lookout123 comes this prize:

Originally Posted by lookout123

My wife just became an urban legend

Mrs Lookout just called me to tell me what our lovely son just did. She stopped at the bank on her way to his babysitter's house. They go to this same bank nearly everyday to drop off my wife's business deposits. Everybody there knows her and my son, in fact, most of them are her clients.

While she was at the counter for her transaction my son, who is 4 was doing what all bored 4 years will do - being antsy, sitting down, crawling on the floor. He was being relatively harmless and my wife was preoccupied so she didn't notice him lift up the edge of her skirt and look underneath. here would be a good time to point out that my wife generally goes commando - a fact that apparently didn't escape Little Lookout's notice today.

LL: (loudly) are you wearing undies?

Mrs: *swatting him away* Yes, stop it!

LL: (louder) Mom you aren't wearing UNDIES!

Mrs: *swatting him again* OK, be quiet.

LL: (Very loudly) Mom, why aren't you wearing any undies? I can see where you pee!!! does dad know you aren't wearing undies?

The Clerk: did you forget something today Mrs Lookout?

The rest of the Tellers and Clients in Bank:

Mrs: Let's go Little Lookout.
__________________
Random Cellarite Fact: TW once challenged a dead woman to a staring contest. The corpse nearly won, until TW's famous humor made her laugh.

Now with 95% less cellar access, thanks NetNanny - you bitch.

Found here

[BigV]

Originally Posted by Undertoad

Yeah, this is why I don't work for other people. I wouldn't put up with this bullshit under any circumstances.

Similarly, you should be banned from using the telephone, or other means of communication.

This is a serious misunderstanding of how society operates in 2005. I would encourage you to leave your current employer, as they are not cluetrained, and will inevitably fail. But this will take long enough that you can still manage to get money out of them. I give them 10 years.

Markets are conversations.

The Internet treats censorship as a network failure, and routes around it.

Emphasis mine.

This is Hall of Fame material. This is Ten Commandments material. This is Natual Law material.

Found here

[BigV]

Originally Posted by mrnoodle

It's no fair. You guys on the left get movie stars on your side, we get forum posters WITH ALL CAPS NAMES who quote Hitler in their sig file and claim descendancy from Caligula.
__________________
"Your 'reality,' sir, is lies and balderdash, and I am happy to say I have no grasp of it whatsoever." -- Baron Munchausen

This is so well written that I am filled with compassion for poor mrnoodle, however briefly.

From here

[glatt]

This post by Cain belongs in this hall of fame thread.

[BigV]

Originally Posted by Undertoad

"I don't know that I can support immediate withdrawl, but we need some leadership and clear ideas." The problem with that catchphrase is that it doesn't fit on a sign.

I have seen pictures of anti-protestors. I think it would be funny, some day, to go to a protest and be the one demanding the middle position.

"Staggered withdrawl from Iraq on the basis of Iraqi troop promotion NOW!"

"Careful public review of all no-bid contracts NOW!"

What do we want? An emphasis on reasonable metrics to govern spending on future programs!
When do we want it? After a careful study of how to practically apply such a thing!

Another winner. The actual point is that just because truth cannot be articulated in a sound bite doesn't make it untruth. Brilliant.

[SmartAZ]

"I don't know that I can support immediate withdrawl, but we need some leadership and clear ideas." The problem with that catchphrase is that it doesn't fit on a sign.

Sure it does:

VOTE PICARD/RIKER!
GET SOME LEADERSHIP
FOR A CHANGE!

[seakdivers]

I thought the same thing about a hall of fame area. I've been looking through some of the older posts, and many of them have made me laugh out loud!

The (original) peeing in the shower thread for sure.

[BigV]

In reply to the thread starting question: What draws you back to the cellar?

Originally Posted by limey

Like a kitten?

From here. This one is worth reading on your own.

[BigV]

Hobbs' problem is that the Comm Nazis have finally blocked access to the cellar from his work machine. At Luke AFB. Beestie helpfully suggests his solution and Hobbs justifiably expresses his fears.

Originally Posted by Hobbs

*coughLeavenwoth.prisoncough*

From here.

[BigV]

What are the minimum ingredients to make something funny? dar512 identifies an important one.

Originally Posted by dar512

You're right. It wasn't funny --

to those who didn't understand it.

Ziiing!
From here.

[BigV]

Originally Posted by slang

Ahhhh, yes....that's much better. Read quite enough of that assbag.

From here. Picture was part of original post, not "my" ignore list.

[lumberjim]

Originally Posted by BigV

What are the minimum ingredients to make something funny? dar512 identifies an important one.
Ziiing!
From here.

PLEASE. hall of fame?! I'll admit he got me a little, but not hall of fame worthy. you need to be more selective with your appointments lest you cheapen it.

[dar512]

It wasn't intended to hurt, LJ. I'm not that kind of guy. Plus I think you're alright and I wouldn't want to hurt your feelings.

Besides, I think the HOF is for funny or memorable posts. Not necessarily the ones that draw the most blood.

[lumberjim]

Originally Posted by dar512

It wasn't intended to hurt, LJ. I'm not that kind of guy. Plus I think you're alright and I wouldn't want to hurt your feelings.

Besides, I think the HOF is for funny or memorable posts. Not necessarily the ones that draw the most blood.

yes, well, i think it was very hurtful to me. i think you've given me punative damages. i'd like to sue you, sir. sue everybody.