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Old 11-09-2005, 03:57 AM   #11
Cyclefrance
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Deep countryside of Surrey , England
Posts: 1,890
Men and Women taking a shower - Ring any bells?

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN

Take off clothes and place them sectioned in the laundry basket according
to lights and darks. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you
see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your
womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts etc.

Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide
loofah and pumice stone. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. Wash your hair again to make sure it is clean. Condition your hair with conditioner enhanced with grapefruit and mint. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair.

Shave armpits and legs. Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in
shower. Spray mould spots with tile cleaner. Get out of shower. Dry with
towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in a super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and the hand towel on head.
If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.


HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave in a pile
on the floor. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your wife along the
way, shake willy at her making the "woo-woo" sound. Look at your manly
physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your willy and scratch your
bum. Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Blow your nose
in your hands and let the water rinse it off. Fart and laugh at how loud it
sounds in the shower.

Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash your
bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap. Wash your hair.
Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Wee. Rinse off and get out of shower. Partially dry
off.

Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the
whole time. Admire willy size in mirror again. Leave shower curtain open,
wet mat on floor, light and fan on. If you pass wife, pull off towel,
shake willy at her and make the "woo-woo" sound again. Throw wet towel on bed.

+++
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