meeting new people - Page 3

Sundae · 12-05-2006, 02:13 PM

I'm not shy - I can go up to complete strangers and talk to them. But I am very picky.

I have a horror of smalltalk if that's all someone has to offer, and of saying something that just gets a blank look in return because it's gone whistling over the head of the person I'm talking to.

I do attract people, but I can't be friends with someone for the sake of it. We really have to click. I dream one day of opening a door and finding my peer group, all ready and waiting for me for the last 30 odd years. In the mean time I find them scattered about, one by one, and the relief at knowing it's not just me is like walking into a warm room.

Elspode · 12-05-2006, 02:24 PM

I'm not shy, but I'm no prize, either, so meeting new people is problematic for me. As my planned correspondent in my recent foray into a Poly lifestyle has just told me, essentially, that she just wants to be friends (translation: no sex), I need to come to grips with the whole "meeting people" thing.

I've never been 50 and needed to "meet people" before. I face this prospect with a certain amount of trepidation.

12-05-2006, 02:24 PM

Thing is, I don't do smalltalk, puts a lot of people off... that I don't care gives the impression that I am an ass to many. I think they may be right.

SteveDallas · 12-05-2006, 02:42 PM

Hey I'm the same way RK.

bbro · 12-05-2006, 03:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rkzenrage

We are very different...

Yes we are. I am different than most well-adjusted people. I realize that it is my own problem that I need to work on. I am actually a lot better than I used to be!!

Shawnee123 · 12-05-2006, 03:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bbro

Yes we are. I am different than most well-adjusted people. I realize that it is my own problem that I need to work on. I am actually a lot better than I used to be!!

Whoa...WAIT a minute. Well-adjusted people? Where? You mean they exist?

You seem very friendly bbro!

yesman065 · 12-05-2006, 04:14 PM

40-ish and starting over from a point of less than zero. I can relate, but after being alone for a bit - that which I dreaded is not so bad after all. I can sit in front of the TV and just click the remote while NOT watching any particular TV show. I can read and practice chess or walk through Lowes for hours. My point is that I am ok being with meand therefore don't mind not engaging in the BS small talk that I am really not interested in anyway. Typically I don't get along with people who want that anyway. Then again maybe I'm just an ass - like rk said. Thats ok with me. I'm ok with who I am.

bbro · 12-05-2006, 04:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shawnee123

Whoa...WAIT a minute. Well-adjusted people? Where? You mean they exist?

You seem very friendly bbro!

I think they do - I heard a rumour once.

Thank you! I am friendly, but even online-it takes me a while. I joined in 2004, but didn't start posting until this year! If someone talks to me first, I am fine. It is just starting the conversation.....and following up afterward.

You should see the looks on some people's faces when I tell them I truly am shy. Put me in a room of people I don't know and if no one talks to me, they will all think I am mute. If I know one person there, it is easier for me.

*SIGH* maybe I'll grow out of it at some point.

Sorry-couldn't even keep a straight face

Shawnee123 · 12-05-2006, 04:25 PM

I'm waiting to grow out of my immaturity...42 years and counting!

Griff · 12-05-2006, 05:55 PM

The small talk can be pretty lame. Sometimes I drift out of my body and watch the conversation while I continue the chit chat... that may not be a sign of good mental health, let's just keep that among us here.

bluecuracao · 12-05-2006, 07:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Griff

The small talk can be pretty lame. Sometimes I drift out of my body and watch the conversation while I continue the chit chat... that may not be a sign of good mental health, let's just keep that among us here.

Once in a while, I find myself "skimming"--someone will be going on about something, and my attention will wander in and out, while I think I'm picking up key words. Sucks, because I always used to consider myself a good listener...I hope the out-of-body thing isn't next!

Aliantha · 12-05-2006, 09:49 PM

I do that too. It's terrible sometimes cause I too think I'm listening, but then get busted for not listening. Most often it's the kids who bust me. I think they're just talking between themselves so pretty much tune out but then I hear the "Muuaaaummm...aren't you LISTENING???!!"

Elspode · 12-06-2006, 06:11 AM

The level of honest concentration on and involvement in the small talk is directly proportionate to one's desire to get laid. The higher your hormone level, the more engaged you are...

"...and then, I brought in the trash can, like, and my dog was all like, woof - he's so cute! - so I put down the trash can and got him a doggie biscuit..."

"Fascinating. Yes, dogs can be very intelligent. I'll bet he was practically telepathing you that he wanted a biscuit. We call them cookies at our house. Say, did anyone ever tell you that you have great tits?"

Sundae · 12-06-2006, 08:21 AM

Maybe that's why I find smalltalk with women pointless.

Anyway.

Update on my evening class situation. Turns out the Hindi class (which I was really beginning to look forward to) is level 1. Level 1 is actually the second level - entry is the first level. Go figure. No entry classes available until September.

So I am doing a 20 lesson course in Mandarin Chinese instead.

bbro · 12-06-2006, 09:27 AM

Wow - Good luck with that, I am lucky I can speak English and understand people's accents when speaking English!!! I couldn't imagine trying to learn Mandarin Chinese. but in writing this post, learning a new language intrigues me. I wouldn't mind learning Italian.

12-05-2006, 02:13 PM	#31
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	I'm not shy - I can go up to complete strangers and talk to them. But I am very picky. I have a horror of smalltalk if that's all someone has to offer, and of saying something that just gets a blank look in return because it's gone whistling over the head of the person I'm talking to. I do attract people, but I can't be friends with someone for the sake of it. We really have to click. I dream one day of opening a door and finding my peer group, all ready and waiting for me for the last 30 odd years. In the mean time I find them scattered about, one by one, and the relief at knowing it's not just me is like walking into a warm room. __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

12-05-2006, 02:24 PM	#32
Elspode When Do I Get Virtual Unreality? Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Raytown, Missouri Posts: 12,719	I'm not shy, but I'm no prize, either, so meeting new people is problematic for me. As my planned correspondent in my recent foray into a Poly lifestyle has just told me, essentially, that she just wants to be friends (translation: no sex), I need to come to grips with the whole "meeting people" thing. I've never been 50 and needed to "meet people" before. I face this prospect with a certain amount of trepidation. __________________ "To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog

12-05-2006, 04:25 PM	#39
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	I'm waiting to grow out of my immaturity...42 years and counting! __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

12-05-2006, 05:55 PM	#40
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	The small talk can be pretty lame. Sometimes I drift out of my body and watch the conversation while I continue the chit chat... that may not be a sign of good mental health, let's just keep that among us here. __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

12-05-2006, 09:49 PM	#42
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	I do that too. It's terrible sometimes cause I too think I'm listening, but then get busted for not listening. Most often it's the kids who bust me. I think they're just talking between themselves so pretty much tune out but then I hear the "Muuaaaummm...aren't you LISTENING???!!" __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

12-05-2006, 02:24 PM	#33
rkzenrage Guest Posts: n/a	Thing is, I don't do smalltalk, puts a lot of people off... that I don't care gives the impression that I am an ass to many. I think they may be right.

12-05-2006, 02:42 PM	#34
SteveDallas Your Bartender Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Philly Burbs, PA Posts: 7,651	Hey I'm the same way RK.

12-05-2006, 04:14 PM	#37
yesman065 Banned - Self Imposed Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 1,847	40-ish and starting over from a point of less than zero. I can relate, but after being alone for a bit - that which I dreaded is not so bad after all. I can sit in front of the TV and just click the remote while NOT watching any particular TV show. I can read and practice chess or walk through Lowes for hours. My point is that I am ok being with meand therefore don't mind not engaging in the BS small talk that I am really not interested in anyway. Typically I don't get along with people who want that anyway. Then again maybe I'm just an ass - like rk said. Thats ok with me. I'm ok with who I am.

12-06-2006, 06:11 AM	#43
Elspode When Do I Get Virtual Unreality? Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Raytown, Missouri Posts: 12,719	The level of honest concentration on and involvement in the small talk is directly proportionate to one's desire to get laid. The higher your hormone level, the more engaged you are... "...and then, I brought in the trash can, like, and my dog was all like, woof - he's so cute! - so I put down the trash can and got him a doggie biscuit..." "Fascinating. Yes, dogs can be very intelligent. I'll bet he was practically telepathing you that he wanted a biscuit. We call them cookies at our house. Say, did anyone ever tell you that you have great tits?" __________________ "To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog

12-06-2006, 08:21 AM	#44
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	Maybe that's why I find smalltalk with women pointless. Anyway. Update on my evening class situation. Turns out the Hindi class (which I was really beginning to look forward to) is level 1. Level 1 is actually the second level - entry is the first level. Go figure. No entry classes available until September. So I am doing a 20 lesson course in Mandarin Chinese instead. __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

12-06-2006, 09:27 AM	#45
bbro Insert witty comment here Join Date: May 2004 Location: Raleigh, NC Posts: 2,182	Wow - Good luck with that, I am lucky I can speak English and understand people's accents when speaking English!!! I couldn't imagine trying to learn Mandarin Chinese. but in writing this post, learning a new language intrigues me. I wouldn't mind learning Italian.

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