Things you absolutly DON'T want for Christmas

[Elspode]

I may have told this one here before, but it is my personal fave, so:

Selene's family likes to make lovingly handcrafted gifts, often out of "plastic canvas" and yarn. We always ooh and aah and make over them real big, then take them home and stick them in a box, never to be seen again unless dragged out on short notice if one of them calls to say they're dropping by.

One year, Selene's mother had clearly run out of ideas. She handed out identical packages to each of the significant family sub-units, and made us all wait to open them simultaneously. We did so, only to find a cloth bag that in turn contained a bag of discount potato chips.

"Its the latest thing, you see," she said. "If you're having people over, and you don't want to just put a plain old bag of chips on the table, you just open the bag of chips, pour them into this cloth bag, and serve them. Save the chip bag, and you can pour any leftover chips back in. Then, all you have to do is throw the cloth bag in the wash!"

We were all dumbfounded...but we oohed and aaahed, then went home and threw it in a drawer and ate the chips right out of the bag they came in. Needless to say, there was nothing to wash afterward.