Humor...I Need Humor...

xoxoxoBruce · 01-06-2007, 09:35 AM

An East Texas couple, real-life rednecks with 9 children, went to the doctor to see about getting the husband "fixed". The doctor asked them why, after nine children would they choose to do this.
The husband replied that they had read in a recent article that one out of every ten children being born in North America was Mexican, and they didn't want a Mexican baby because neither of them could speak Spanish.

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A man goes to a disco and starts chatting up a very attractive Chinese girl. After a night of cavorting, she asks him back to her flat and tells him to help himself to a drink while she slips into something more comfortable.
Just as he finishes his drink, the sexy Chinese seductress returns wearing only a see-through negligee.
"I am your sex slave!" she purrs "I will do absolutely anything you desire."
The guy can't believe his luck. "Hmm," he says with a wide grin, "I really fancy a 69."
"Fuck off!" replies the girl, "I'm not cooking at this time of night."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An old Italian Mafia Don is dying and he called his grandson to his bed.
"Grandson I wanta you to listen to me. I wanta you to take mya 45 automatic pistol, so you will always remember me".
The grandson replies: "But grandpa I really don't like guns, how about you leaving me your Rolex watch instead".
The Don, angry, answers: "You lisina to me, some day you goin a be runna da bussiness, you goina have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a biga home and maybe a couple of bambino, some day you goina come hom and maybe finda you wife in be with another man. Whata you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, 'TIMES UP'?!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Literate Strip Club Signs
Ahab, Check Out Our Great White Tail

The Old Man and the SEE

Check Out our Trollops, Anthony

The Prince and the Peeper

Our Girls Even Drive Oscar Wilde

Romeo-oh-oh and Juliet

It's Ulysses to Resist Us

A Tale of Two Titties

Our Poetry in Motion Will Have E.E. Cumming

Leaves of Ass

We're Prettier Than John Greenleaf Whittier

Strippy Longstocking

The Hos of Kilimanjaro

01-06-2007, 09:35 AM	#11
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	An East Texas couple, real-life rednecks with 9 children, went to the doctor to see about getting the husband "fixed". The doctor asked them why, after nine children would they choose to do this. The husband replied that they had read in a recent article that one out of every ten children being born in North America was Mexican, and they didn't want a Mexican baby because neither of them could speak Spanish. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A man goes to a disco and starts chatting up a very attractive Chinese girl. After a night of cavorting, she asks him back to her flat and tells him to help himself to a drink while she slips into something more comfortable. Just as he finishes his drink, the sexy Chinese seductress returns wearing only a see-through negligee. "I am your sex slave!" she purrs "I will do absolutely anything you desire." The guy can't believe his luck. "Hmm," he says with a wide grin, "I really fancy a 69." "Fuck off!" replies the girl, "I'm not cooking at this time of night." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ An old Italian Mafia Don is dying and he called his grandson to his bed. "Grandson I wanta you to listen to me. I wanta you to take mya 45 automatic pistol, so you will always remember me". The grandson replies: "But grandpa I really don't like guns, how about you leaving me your Rolex watch instead". The Don, angry, answers: "You lisina to me, some day you goin a be runna da bussiness, you goina have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a biga home and maybe a couple of bambino, some day you goina come hom and maybe finda you wife in be with another man. Whata you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, 'TIMES UP'?! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Literate Strip Club Signs Ahab, Check Out Our Great White Tail The Old Man and the SEE Check Out our Trollops, Anthony The Prince and the Peeper Our Girls Even Drive Oscar Wilde Romeo-oh-oh and Juliet It's Ulysses to Resist Us A Tale of Two Titties Our Poetry in Motion Will Have E.E. Cumming Leaves of Ass We're Prettier Than John Greenleaf Whittier Strippy Longstocking The Hos of Kilimanjaro __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

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