Humor...I Need Humor...

[Cyclefrance]

Hopefully new....

When I had been married 25 years, I took a look at
my wife one day and said, "Honey, 25 years ago, we
had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa
bed and watched a 10 inch black and white TV, but I
got to sleep every night with a hot 25 year old
blonde. Now, we have a nice house, nice car, big
bed and plasma screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 50
year old woman. It seems to me that you are not
holding up your side of things." My wife is a very
reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a
hot 25 year old blonde, and she would make sure that
I would once again be living in a cheap apartment,
driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed and
watching a 10 inch black and white TV. Aren't
older women great. They really know how to solve
your mid-life crisis............

[Cyclefrance]

Oh, dear, two in one day....


A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.

She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.

The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes."

The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.

Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!"

The woman said, "That's okay."

For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.

The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to".

The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me."

So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.

The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you."

The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine."

So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.

Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.

Male readers : Please scroll down.

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The man had a heart attack ten times milder
Than his wife .

That's life ladies! You should have stopped when you had the chance!

[Sheldonrs]

What's the difference between a Jewish mother and a Rottweiler?

Eventually, a Rottweiler will let you go.