Split from Cloud's Kids&Internet Thread

[Beestie]

Originally Posted by TheMercenary

Woooowooo my friend... There are no statement of abdication or control for that matter, only monitoring and appropriate intervention when and if things appear to be getting out of hand.

Abdication might be too strong a word but the point I am making is that you can't expect a kid to develop the self discipline to choose not to visit unsavory content if you screen it all out.

What is he going to do when he's 19, out on his own with his own computer and no daddy sitting on his head clubbing him each time he strays to the dark corner of the internet - or strip clubs - or whatever.

What are you teaching when you demonstrate zero trust in your kids?

And I'd be willing to bet $50.00 that your kids have probably figured out how to tunnel through your Great Wall of Purity. For every safeguard, there is a hack. Keyloggers, screen cap software, site monitoring software - all of it can be hacked. Wouldn't surprise me a bit if they got the software while at their friend's house (oops - security breach) and installed it on your home machine. Don't bother looking for it - it won't show up in task manager.

Distrust breeds subversion.

[TheMercenary]

Originally Posted by monster

p.s. Merc, if you're such a good parent and a good judge of what is appropriate for teens on the web, how come you don't know how to respond appropriately to a 16yo on a forum like this?

Just playing Devils Advocate to a teen who has no idea what it is like to be a parent.

[GuinivereXBloodgood]

Originally Posted by TheMercenary

Chill, I am having fun.

Let me ask you a question.

Do you think there is anything on the internet that you could monitor of your teen that would be inappropriate?

So basically, you as a parent, believe that your kid is so totally trustworthy and such an angel that there would be no chance that anything they do on the internet could be harmful or that any information that you, as a parent, could ever gleem to help prevent that child from heading into trouble??? Please give me a response, I am curious.

First of all, I don't think you realize that I am younger than Ibram, therefore it is quite impossible for me to be the parent of a teenager, seeing as I am one.

And second, I have friends who are living proof that if you track your kid's every move and micro-manage their lives, they will go wild as soon as they're out on their own. So that, my friend, is only inviting trouble, not preventing it.

[Beestie]

Originally Posted by monster

p.s. Merc, if you're such a good parent and a good judge of what is appropriate for teens on the web, how come you don't know how to respond appropriately to a 16yo on a forum like this?

§

[TheMercenary]

Originally Posted by Beestie

Abdication might be too strong a word but the point I am making is that you can't expect a kid to develop the self discipline to choose not to visit unsavory content if you screen it all out.

What is he going to do when he's 19, out on his own with his own computer and no daddy sitting on his head clubbing him each time he strays to the dark corner of the internet - or strip clubs - or whatever.

What are you teaching when you demonstrate zero trust in your kids?

And I'd be willing to bet $50.00 that your kids have probably figured out how to tunnel through your Great Wall of Purity. For every safeguard, there is a hack. Keyloggers, screen cap software, site monitoring software - all of it can be hacked. Wouldn't surprise me a bit if they got the software while at their friend's house (oops - security breach) and installed it on your home machine. Don't bother looking for it - it won't show up in task manager.

Distrust breeds subversion.

Never said I ever screened it all out. Only that parents should know what is going on when their teens are on the web. I have never clubbed any of my kids. Although I wanted to once or twice.

My older kids are already out there doing what ever they do, that is their responsibility now. They will be responsible for their own actions.

I know computers much better than my kids so I doubt any of the later will happen.

But we digress from the topic.

Do parents have a right to know what their kids are doing on the net when such access is only available in their homes???

[Ibby]

Originally Posted by monster

p.s. Merc, if you're such a good parent and a good judge of what is appropriate for teens on the web, how come you don't know how to respond appropriately to a 16yo on a forum like this?

How do you think Stalin would have responded if one of the proletariat had walked up to him and cussed him out to his face, and he couldnt simply kill him?

[TheMercenary]

Originally Posted by GuinivereXBloodgood

First of all, I don't think you realize that I am younger than Ibram, therefore it is quite impossible for me to be the parent of a teenager, seeing as I am one.

And second, I have friends who are living proof that if you track your kid's every move and micro-manage their lives, they will go wild as soon as they're out on their own. So that, my friend, is only inviting trouble, not preventing it.

No where, no where... have I said that I in anyway micro-manage my kids lives.

But I did tell my 17 year old that if he ever went to jail, plan on spending at least 24 hours there because I would not come get him out so he can understand that all behavior suffers consequence.

[Ibby]

By the way, Merc, I dont think ANYONE said you didnt have a RIGHT to do it.

Having the right to do something does not make doing it right.

[Beestie]

Originally Posted by TheMercenary

Do parents have a right to know what their kids are doing on the net when such access is only available in their homes???

Of course they do. And an obligation to stay involved. My only point is that you gotta give them some room to take responsibility with a parental safety net. Several people from around the planet and from both ends of the political spectrum are in near perfect agreement that you gotta let kids screw up so you can show them how not to and how to own up to it.

I suppose you are going to tell me that you didn't keep a few copies of JUGGS under you bed when you were growing up. Or did your father conduct random, warrentless searches to ferret out such tools of the devil.

[duck_duck]

All my parents said to me was do not give out details to your address, phone number or school you go to. They also said not to arrange meetings with anybody, send any postal mail and they asked me not to look at people's web cams so I don't. I've been ok without them looking over my shoulder.

[TheMercenary]

Originally Posted by Ibram

By the way, Merc, I dont think ANYONE said you didnt have a RIGHT to do it.

Having the right to do something does not make doing it right.

In your teen mind, I believe that you believe that your are correct, as most teens do about anything.

[GuinivereXBloodgood]

I never said that you did...

Nope, only implied it. But I do think that tracking what sites they go to is considered micro-management, and if you micro-manage in one aspect of your kids' lives, it's quite likely that you do in others.

But I did tell my 17 year old that if he ever went to jail, plan on spending at least 24 hours there because I would not come get him out so he can understand that all behavior suffers consequence.

How is this relevant to your argument?

[TheMercenary]

Originally Posted by Beestie

Of course they do. And an obligation to stay involved. My only point is that you gotta give them some room to take responsibility with a parental safety net. Several people from around the planet and from both ends of the political spectrum are in near perfect agreement that you gotta let kids screw up so you can show them how not to and how to own up to it.

I suppose you are going to tell me that you didn't keep a few copies of JUGGS under you bed when you were growing up. Or did your father conduct random, warrentless searches to ferret out such tools of the devil.

That is really not the issue, the issues is am I a "Mother-Fucking -Asshole" for wanting to keep my kids safe in my house under my rules by using parental spy-ware? Sorry dude, if you are not a parent you have no idea what a "warrentless search" is of a childs room, give me a frigging break.

[TheMercenary]

Originally Posted by GuinivereXBloodgood

I never said that you did...

Nope, only implied it. But I do think that tracking what sites they go to is considered micro-management, and if you micro-manage in one aspect of your kids' lives, it's quite likely that you do in others.



How is this relevant to your argument?

anecedotal...

implied??? don't wavier.

[TheMercenary]

Originally Posted by duck_duck

I've been ok without them looking over my shoulder.

So how do you know that they don't?