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Old 07-25-2007, 02:40 AM   #1
wolf
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There is Something Wrong with My Chinese Delivery Place
I got this fortune cookie tonight. It didn't have the usual fortune cookie platitudes about long voyages or obscure Confucian wisdom type stuff.

It said "Stay away from the opposite sex."

It was not a specialty comedy cookie. Actually, they've been on a run of soppy positive self esteem cookies.

I thought about it awhile and realized that I must have gotten someone else's cookie, so I gave it to the homosexual when he got back into the office.
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Old 07-25-2007, 02:50 AM   #2
xoxoxoBruce
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A queer cookie?
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Old 07-25-2007, 03:13 AM   #3
bluecuracao
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Well, shit--you've turned someone else's cookie for you into a paradox for him.
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Old 07-25-2007, 04:31 AM   #4
NoBoxes
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It sounds like a derivation of the general advice to stay away from temptation (e.g. advice to recovering alcoholics is to stay away from alcohol and bars, advice to adulterers is to stay away from the opposite sex. Perhaps they fancy themselves Chinese deliverers from evil.
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Old 07-25-2007, 06:04 AM   #5
DucksNuts
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Damn good advice that, I wish I got that one wolf.
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Old 07-25-2007, 07:02 AM   #6
Griff
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wolf View Post
I thought about it awhile and realized that I must have gotten someone else's cookie, so I gave it to the homosexual when he got back into the office.
Well played.
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Old 07-25-2007, 08:30 AM   #7
Shawnee123
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Wow. They don't even try to be subtle. Just "STAY AWAY." Not avoid, not "be cautious."

That's really funny.
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Old 07-25-2007, 09:44 AM   #8
freshnesschronic
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Two woks don't make a right.
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Old 07-25-2007, 11:56 AM   #9
smurfalicious
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Wow. Nice encouragement to go asexual. Or homosexual. Nun or shun.
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Old 07-25-2007, 12:44 PM   #10
Shawnee123
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Originally Posted by freshnesschronic View Post
Two woks don't make a right.
THAT was a good one!
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Old 07-25-2007, 12:45 PM   #11
Uisge Beatha
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You know, it could have been a typo; maybe it was supposed to say "Stay away from the opposite of sex." As in, having no sex. Ah, who am I kidding? That's just a messed up cookie.

Perhaps the strangest fortune I ever received simply said "Made in the USA." I'm not joking here. That was the fortune, not some legal production ID business.
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Old 07-25-2007, 01:03 PM   #12
BigV
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Perhaps you got one intended for domestic consumption, and not intended for export. I say it's legit. Very topical, current events-fresh.
Quote:
Citizens told to quit bad habits before Beijing Olympics
Wed Jul 25, 2007 1:54PM BST

By Nick Mulvenney

BEIJING (Reuters) - The people of Beijing have been asked to rid themselves of bad habits and clean up their language as part of improving the city's environment ahead of next year's Olympic Games.

Addressing the "ceremony of mobilisation and pledging of the people from all circles for Olympic one-year countdown", Beijing Olympic chief Liu Qi stressed it was up to individuals to ensure the city was ready to host the Games in a year and two weeks' time.

"Every citizen should behave in a civilised manner, cast away ugly habits, clean up their language, clean the environment and clean the air," Liu, president of the Beijing Organising Committee for the Olympic Games (BOCOG), said on Wednesday.
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Old 07-25-2007, 01:06 PM   #13
Shawnee123
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That edict should have a big impact on the monkey-riding-goat concession. Those things poo, you know.
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Old 07-25-2007, 01:24 PM   #14
Elspode
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DucksNuts View Post
Damn good advice that, I wish I got that one wolf.
Pish tosh. Just hang out with more worthy members of the opposite sex. Start with me.
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Old 07-25-2007, 07:39 PM   #15
DucksNuts
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I'm going with not hanging out with any at the moment 'spode.

I'm hanging the old CFM's up for a well deserved break, but you are at the top of my list when I am...well.....back on the horse, so to speak
Last edited by DucksNuts; 07-25-2007 at 09:13 PM. Reason: my brain wasnt working in the spelling department
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