Baby-name remorse

[xoxoxoBruce]

Baby-name remorse -- what do you do?

Not as unusual as I expected.

Regret is common after any big decision, and few prenatal decisions these days are as open to debate as picking a child's name. Rare are the parents who haven't invested in a small library of baby-name books or trolled the Internet for a name unique enough to be usefully Googled, but not so weird as to cause ridicule.

"Today, there's this perception that naming a child is almost like naming a product -- there's this huge national drive now to not be like anyone else," says Laura Wattenberg, author of "The Baby Name Wizard" and founder of the blog BabyNameWizard.com.

That may be one reason some parents have second thoughts when they realize they've picked the present-day equivalent of Jennifer or Justin.

But it can be hazardous.

Noting that by 12 months children already recognize the sound of their names, Dr. Karla Umpierre, a Miami psychologist and family counselor, encourages parents to get the child's input and approval if they decide to change the name after age 2. "It's best to change the name before then, because by 2 or 3 they have a sense of identity, and it could send mixed messages. The child might ask himself, 'Do you want to change me?'"

"Stability is very important for children," says Dr. Umpierre. "And changing a name could create a lot of insecurity."

And it ain't easy.

The more she reflected, the more she wanted to change Luke's name to Beckett Shaw Grayson. The process involved hours on the phone with the Social Security office and the county clerk. She found that although it's legal to change a minor's name (as long as both parents consent), states don't always have a well-oiled system in place for regretful parents.

When her son's new Social Security card arrived, it read, erroneously, "Shaw Luke Grayson."

The Eadies, too, were bounced from one government agency to another. Eventually they filed the paperwork with a probate-court judge to change "Emma" to "Caroline."

I suppose it's a good thing the government makes it tough, otherwise they might be swamped with parents twisting their kids.

[monster]

The only remorse we have is chickening out of really giving Thor "Trouble" as a middle name. We came soooooo close..... (he ended up with Artemus George, but Trouble George was so up there)

[Clodfobble]

The process involved hours on the phone with the Social Security office and the county clerk.

She's lucky. In Texas, only marital name changes can be done by mail/phone. To change a child's name, you must bring the parental consent forms to the Social Security office in person, which is obscenely crowded from January through May ("tax season," said the security guard.) I had a four-hour wait, and I got there first thing in the morning. The saddest moment came after I was finished, and I carefully wound my way through the crowd and out the main door at the very back, only to discover that there was a long line of people just waiting outside the door--I had to inform them that there was not actually a line at all, there was a little take-a-number machine just inside the doors, but that it didn't matter anyway because at this point business hours would end long before their number would ever be called.

(Edit: which is not to say I changed my own child's name out of remorse; this was a court-ordered name change for one of my stepchildren as part of the custody ruling.)

[glatt]

I love my brother and his wife is cool too, but they gave their new daughter an unusual name. I think when she gets older, she may end up going by her initials, like C.J. Craig on The West Wing. I can't spell out the baby's name here, because if they ever google it, they will easily find this thread. I would be busted.

The name (please don't post it in this thread anyone) is the first name of the current dali lama. A Tibetin boy's name being given to an American girl.

Ah, hell. I'll make it easy for you. Read vertically.

T
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Anyway, it's her name. And when I hear this name, I think of the her, so it's all cool. At least within the family, it's cool now. But I wonder what it will be like for her when she is a teenager.

[Spexxvet]

Originally Posted by glatt

...
T
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Anyway, it's her name. And when I hear this name, I think of the her, so it's all cool. At least within the family, it's cool now. But I wonder what it will be like for her when she is a teenager.

When she's teenzin, they'll be teezin her.

[monster]

It'll be just fine, Glatt. Unique names are all the rage.

[monster]

Here's a female one linky

[Aliantha]

I think it's a beautiful name glatt. I can't imagine why she'd get teased any more than any other kids do for their names. I know some are worse than others, but srsly, there's not that much you can do with that name.

[Cicero]

I actually heard T----n the other day and liked it....Of course I live in Santa Fe, land of strange names, or normal names pronounced strange,and/ or with a different spelling. My name is considered weird...Someone called for me today not knowing they would get me first try, and were obviously displeased at having to pronounce my name....It's actually easy for an odd name so it kind of doubles as an IQ test. I like it.
When I called the person the first time I repeated my name over and over along with my number for this reason..she still didn't get it.

[monster]

Maybe a little edit here please? ^ Glatt asked you not to spell out Matilda and spring him to his rellies.....

[SteveDallas]

Our criteria were.... not so common that everybody had one. Not so unusual that they were hard to spell. One common way to spell. (My sister's name is Christy, and I'm familiar with all the trouble stemming from variations--Christie, Kristie, Kristy, etc. etc. etc.) Initials should not spell anything embarrassing or amusing. And no names of Gilbert & Sullivan characters. (That may sound weird, but Mrs. Dallas spends a lot of time conducting G&S shows, and if we had chosen, say, Frederick, or Mabel, some people were bound to think we named the kid after the character.)

[wolf]

Two of my cow orkers have named their bastard male offspring "Jayden." I also saw a Kaiden announcement today.

[Nnett]

I think all the government need to let parents know the effect of changing the baby name after age 3. It very important that they will be aware of the effects.

[glatt]

Originally Posted by monster

Maybe a little edit here please? ^ Glatt asked you not to spell out Matilda and spring him to his rellies.....

Thanks, monster.

and the name is just fine. I even like it. I don't want to give the impression that I hate the name. But I'm her 40 year old uncle, so my opinion doesn't matter so much. It'll be her peers that matter.

[aimeecc]

The article is dead on. I was named Aimee - my brothers and sisters named me after their kindergarten teacher. I was born in Texas, and no one around had the name. We moved to Colorado when I was 8 and Aimee is extrememly popular there. It turned out to be one of the top 5 names for my year (with different spellings). I hated the fact that there were 18 Amy/Aimee/Ami's in my small high school. Its not that I hated the name - its beautiful - nor that I wanted to be soooo unique or soooo special. I just didn't want a name every one else seemed to have. I remember always having to write my full name out - because there were already other Aimee C.'s, so I had to write my entire name on every homework assignment. If you don't have an incredibly common name, you don't think about these things that really do get to be a bother. By the time I was 10, my mom offered to let me change my name. I really liked Elizabeth, and its the name my mom wanted (my dad hated that name). However I was indecisive and never changed my name. My best friend was Jennifer - and there were 26 of those in my high school. Its always a pain when talking about people with common names "hey, I'm going to the mall with Jen" "Which one?" In college I had two roommates - both named Jen. I now go by my middle name - Christine. There was only one in my high school, and she went by Chrissy. Its funny how things turn out though. After moving to the East Coast, I run into more Christine/Christina/Chrissy's than Amy/Aimee/Ami's. I've thought about going back to Aimee.
Bottom line, unless you've had an incredibly common name, don't judge parents for wanting their child to have a name that not every other kid in school has. It really is a pain.