Sept 3, 2009: Fart Smeller

xoxoxoBruce · 09-03-2009, 12:31 AM

No, not the brown-nosing dork at school, it's a Cornell University senior project, in computer-engineering class.

Quote:

After learning in class how breathalyzers work, Robert Clain and Miguel Salas assembled a fart detector from a sensitive hydrogen sulfide monitor, a thermometer and a microphone and wrote the software that would rate the emission. A “slight perturbance in the air” near the detector sets it to work measuring the three pillars of fart quality: stench, temperature and sound. Temperature, Clain explains, is critical. The hotter a fart, the faster it spreads.

It's not just a joke, it actually has useful applications.

Quote:

The contraption could even have use outside of fraternity houses, Clain says, as a biosensor for harmful hydrogen-sulfide-producing bacteria in hospitals. Or dentists could use it to measure oral malodor. They’ve also received some interest from doctors with four-legged patients. “You can test the health of livestock through the quality of their farts,” Salas says. “Smell and sound can tell you a lot about their bowel movements.”

Oh, and the Prof gave them an A for the project.

link

SPUCK · 09-03-2009, 05:28 AM

Monster!
Front and center!

capnhowdy · 09-03-2009, 07:03 AM

Takes a couple of smart fellers to invent something like this.

classicman · 09-03-2009, 07:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by capnhowdy

Takes a couple of fart smellers to invent something like this.

fixed that for ya.

dlturman · 09-03-2009, 09:21 AM

Seeing how it's the one who smelt it, is it also the one who dealt it? Rendering it useless.

Nirvana · 09-03-2009, 10:07 AM

I must not be very smart
I clicked on a story about farts!

Shawnee123 · 09-03-2009, 10:12 AM

So I sent the link to my two brothers (who bring family and love and fart machines to most holiday functions) and copied mom who wrote back and said "You know one of those will show up at Christmas, don't you?"

jpc · 09-03-2009, 10:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by capnhowdy

Takes a couple of smart fellers to invent something like this.

"Takes a couple of smart fellers to invent a fart smeller"

monster · 09-03-2009, 10:25 AM

Was the carpet brown before people started testing this?

monster · 09-03-2009, 10:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by capnhowdy

Takes a couple of smart fellers to invent something like this.

Q: how many IOTD readers does it take to make a wisecrack?

A: three. one two make it and two to spell it out in case it was accidental and they can get the funnies credit for it

Shawnee123 · 09-03-2009, 10:30 AM

HA! (cause I was gonna say something.)

newtimer · 09-03-2009, 11:29 AM

Quote:

...smell and sound can tell you a lot about their bowel movements...

If the fart doesn't smell like a cow's backside and if it doesn't bellow like a cow's frontside, then the cow is probably dead. Do we need a machine to tell us that?

spudcon · 09-03-2009, 11:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtimer

If the fart doesn't smell like a cow's backside and if it doesn't bellow like a cow's frontside, then the cow is probably dead. Do we need a machine to tell us that?

Spoken with the authority of one who is obviously very familiar with cow farts.

dmg1969 · 09-03-2009, 12:39 PM

Having worked on a relatives dairy farm every summer growing up, you can find out all about the quality of a cow's bowel movements by being behind one when the tail goes up and it lets loose.

newtimer · 09-03-2009, 02:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by spudcon

Spoken with the authority of one who is obviously very familiar with cow farts.

Yes, I have made the mistake of driving through Wisconsin with the windows rolled down.

09-03-2009, 07:03 AM	#3
capnhowdy Blatantly Homosapien Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 6,200	Takes a couple of smart fellers to invent something like this. __________________ Please type slowly. I can't read very fast............... and no holy water, please.

09-03-2009, 10:07 AM	#6
Nirvana Back in 10 Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 3,684	I must not be very smart I clicked on a story about farts! __________________ Speaking simply... do not confuse this with having a simple mind.

09-03-2009, 10:12 AM	#7
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	So I sent the link to my two brothers (who bring family and love and fart machines to most holiday functions) and copied mom who wrote back and said "You know one of those will show up at Christmas, don't you?" __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

09-03-2009, 10:25 AM	#9
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	Was the carpet brown before people started testing this? __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

09-03-2009, 10:30 AM	#11
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	HA! (cause I was gonna say something.) __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

09-03-2009, 05:28 AM	#2
SPUCK Professor Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 1,911	Monster! Front and center!

09-03-2009, 09:21 AM	#5
dlturman Recruit or Something Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 4	Seeing how it's the one who smelt it, is it also the one who dealt it? Rendering it useless.

09-03-2009, 12:39 PM	#14
dmg1969 I got nothing Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Central PA Posts: 486	Having worked on a relatives dairy farm every summer growing up, you can find out all about the quality of a cow's bowel movements by being behind one when the tail goes up and it lets loose. __________________ Void where prohibited. Your results may vary. Not intended for resale. Do not remove tag. Objects in mirror are closer than they appear.

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