Humor...I Need Humor...

Rhianne · 08-18-2010, 10:18 AM

Two flies were sitting on (I'm sorry about this) some dog shit. Suddenly one of them farts and the other looks at him disgusted, "Do you mind", he says, "I'm trying to eat my dinner here".

SteveDallas · 08-18-2010, 12:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rhianne

Two flies were sitting on (I'm sorry about this) some dog shit. Suddenly one of them farts and the other looks at him disgusted, "Do you mind", he says, "I'm trying to eat my dinner here".

And well you might apologize. Because clearly this is the most vulgar, disgusting thing ever posted on The Cellar.

Gravdigr · 08-22-2010, 12:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rhianne

Two flies were sitting on (I'm sorry about this) some dog shit. Suddenly one of them farts and the other looks at him disgusted, "Do you mind", he says, "I'm trying to eat my dinner here".

I saw a t-shirt...on it was two piles of shit...a fly was on one pile of shit...a fly was hovering over the other pile of shit...The hovering fly says to the first fly, "Pardon me, is this stool taken?"

Gravdigr · 08-23-2010, 02:08 AM

Computer:Monitor, display this document, ok?

Monitor: No prob, boss.

Computer: OK, now it looks like Mouse is moving around so, Monitor, will you move the pointer icon accordingly?

Monitor: Anything you ask, boss.

Computer: Great, great. OK, Mouse, where are you going now?

Mouse: Over to the icon panel, sir.

Computer: Hmm, Let me know if he clicks anything, OK?

Mouse: Of course.

Keyboard: Sir, he's pressed control and P simultaneously.

Monitor: Oh God, here we go.

Computer: *sighs* Printer, are you there?

Printer: No.

Computer: Please, Printer. I know you're there.

Printer: NO! I'm not here! Leave me alone!

Computer: Jesus. OK look, you really ne...

Mouse: Sir, he's clicked on the printer icon.

Computer: Printer, now you have to print it twice.

Printer: NO! NO! NO! I don't want to! I hate you! I hate printing! I'm turning off!

Computer: Printer, you know you can't turn yourself off. Just print the document twice and we'll leave you alone.

Printer: NO! That's what you always say! I hate you! I'm out of ink!

Computer: You're not out of in...

Printer: I'M OUT OF INK!

Computer: *Sighs* Monitor, please show a low ink level alert.

Monitor: But sir, he has plen...

Computer: Just do it, damn it!

Monitor: Yes sir.

Keyboard: AHHH! He's hitting me!

Computer: Stay calm, he'll stop soon. Stay calm, old friend.

Keyboard: He's pressing everything. Oh god, I don't know, he's just pressing everything!

Computer: PRINTER! Are you happy now?! Do you see what you've done?!

Printer: HA! that's what you get for trying to get me to do work. Next time he...hey...HEY! He's trying to open me! HELP! HELP! Oh my god! He's torn out my cartridge! HELP! Please! ERROR!

Monitor: Sir, maybe we should help him?

Computer: No. He did this to himself.

Gravdigr · 08-23-2010, 03:24 AM

.

Lamplighter · 08-23-2010, 10:07 AM

Cast of characters:

Computer: xoxoxoBruce
Monitor: UnderToad
Mouse: Wolf
Keyboard: LumberJim
Printer: ? ? ?

(No evil intended)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gravdigr

Computer:Monitor, display this document, ok?

Monitor: No prob, boss.

Computer: OK, now it looks like Mouse is moving around so, Monitor, will you move the pointer icon accordingly?

Monitor: Anything you ask, boss.

Computer: Great, great. OK, Mouse, where are you going now?

Mouse: Over to the icon panel, sir.

Computer: Hmm, Let me know if he clicks anything, OK?

Mouse: Of course.

Keyboard: Sir, he's pressed control and P simultaneously.

Monitor: Oh God, here we go.

Computer: *sighs* Printer, are you there?

Printer: No.

Computer: Please, Printer. I know you're there.

Printer: NO! I'm not here! Leave me alone!

Computer: Jesus. OK look, you really ne...

Mouse: Sir, he's clicked on the printer icon.

Computer: Printer, now you have to print it twice.

Printer: NO! NO! NO! I don't want to! I hate you! I hate printing! I'm turning off!

Computer: Printer, you know you can't turn yourself off. Just print the document twice and we'll leave you alone.

Printer: NO! That's what you always say! I hate you! I'm out of ink!

Computer: You're not out of in...

Printer: I'M OUT OF INK!

Computer: *Sighs* Monitor, please show a low ink level alert.

Monitor: But sir, he has plen...

Computer: Just do it, damn it!

Monitor: Yes sir.

Keyboard: AHHH! He's hitting me!

Computer: Stay calm, he'll stop soon. Stay calm, old friend.

Keyboard: He's pressing everything. Oh god, I don't know, he's just pressing everything!

Computer: PRINTER! Are you happy now?! Do you see what you've done?!

Printer: HA! that's what you get for trying to get me to do work. Next time he...hey...HEY! He's trying to open me! HELP! HELP! Oh my god! He's torn out my cartridge! HELP! Please! ERROR!

Monitor: Sir, maybe we should help him?

Computer: No. He did this to himself.

08-23-2010, 02:08 AM	#4
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	Computer:Monitor, display this document, ok? Monitor: No prob, boss. Computer: OK, now it looks like Mouse is moving around so, Monitor, will you move the pointer icon accordingly? Monitor: Anything you ask, boss. Computer: Great, great. OK, Mouse, where are you going now? Mouse: Over to the icon panel, sir. Computer: Hmm, Let me know if he clicks anything, OK? Mouse: Of course. Keyboard: Sir, he's pressed control and P simultaneously. Monitor: Oh God, here we go. Computer: sighs Printer, are you there? Printer: No. Computer: Please, Printer. I know you're there. Printer: NO! I'm not here! Leave me alone! Computer: Jesus. OK look, you really ne... Mouse: Sir, he's clicked on the printer icon. Computer: Printer, now you have to print it twice. Printer: NO! NO! NO! I don't want to! I hate you! I hate printing! I'm turning off! Computer: Printer, you know you can't turn yourself off. Just print the document twice and we'll leave you alone. Printer: NO! That's what you always say! I hate you! I'm out of ink! Computer: You're not out of in... Printer: I'M OUT OF INK! Computer: Sighs Monitor, please show a low ink level alert. Monitor: But sir, he has plen... Computer: Just do it, damn it! Monitor: Yes sir. Keyboard: AHHH! He's hitting me! Computer: Stay calm, he'll stop soon. Stay calm, old friend. Keyboard: He's pressing everything. Oh god, I don't know, he's just pressing everything! Computer: PRINTER! Are you happy now?! Do you see what you've done?! Printer: HA! that's what you get for trying to get me to do work. Next time he...hey...HEY! He's trying to open me! HELP! HELP! Oh my god! He's torn out my cartridge! HELP! Please! ERROR! Monitor: Sir, maybe we should help him? Computer: No. He did this to himself. __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

08-23-2010, 03:24 AM	#5
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	. Attached Images __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

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08-18-2010, 10:18 AM	#1
Rhianne Nearly done. Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Teetering on the edge. Posts: 1,134	Two flies were sitting on (I'm sorry about this) some dog shit. Suddenly one of them farts and the other looks at him disgusted, "Do you mind", he says, "I'm trying to eat my dinner here".

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