Well, This is Going to be a Lousy Situation

[BigV]

Originally Posted by Elspode

snip--

I promise to be here more soon. As I said, I've missed you all, and I have no good excuse for why I've been nothing more than a lurker for so very long.

Good. I'm counting on it.

Originally Posted by Elspode

Thanks for the good vibes. Please keep them coming, and try to spare some for Selene as well. She has to be going through some pretty fucked up shit in her head/life to have resorted to this.

You're welcome. You have my good vibes as does Selene.

Ya'll--an aside--it's my experience that good vibes for the ex are a gift to both, especially to Elspode in this case. I felt the same way when I was in a similar situation. He's in adrift in an ocean of shit for the moment, throwing in some free floating focused hate doesn't improve that situation, especially since he's asked for the opposite.

I believe this:

Originally Posted by Els

She has to be going through some pretty fucked up shit in her head/life to have resorted to this.

produces this:

Originally Posted by xoB

This wasn't a wrong choice driven by a panicky fight or flight situation. This was a carefully crafted, fuck-you-long-time, kick in the nuts, by an evil, self-centered, cunt. An act so vile, even she can't watch it unfold.

I agree with you xoB, I do. But I also know that Elspode chose her, built a life with her to this point and did so not because she was Susanna bin Laden, but because she was in Elspode's eyes a good person. I support Elspode because he's my friend and I'll do what I can for him. For me, that includes holding my hatred in abeyance.

[Sundae]

Gotcha there Big V.
But the comments have been directed at how she behaved, not who she is as a person.

I'll go along with 'Spode's request and heap no calumny upon her head.
But she's off my prayer list.

[zippyt]

same here SG

[Spexxvet]

Originally Posted by Sundae

But she's off my prayer list.

Not mine. Did I tell you I'm a Satan worshipper?

[footfootfoot]

Originally Posted by Sundae

But she's off my prayer list.

On a different prayer list...

[classicman]

I'm with xoB and foot.

I wish you all the best and a speedy ... adjustment/conclusion/departure... whatever with as little pain as possible.

[Sundae]

Well, yeah - I'm cheating because I don't have a prayer list either way.
And I don't think my well-wishing or ill-wishing affect anyone but me.

But I'm willing to try in the positive vibes for Els. And not for Selene.
I doubt it will make her cry into her coffee, but it's about all I can do in a negative way, whilst respecting 'Spode's wishes.

[footfootfoot]

Originally Posted by Sundae

... whilst respecting 'Spode's wishes.

How civilized of you. I thought this was really about all of us projecting our own hostility at former lovers/spouses/whatever onto Patrick's current situation.

NOW what will I do with my unresolved anger?

[Sundae]

You can vent it on me.
My veneer of civilisation is only that.

[BigV]

this is why I like you footfootfooot.

You're so agile, so deft. You take a horrible situation, and in one sentence, disarm and display all our inner grudges.

How charming of you.

[Griff]

Originally Posted by Sundae

You can vent it on me.
My veneer of civilisation is only that.

You're not particle board underneath are you? Don't get wet.

[Pete Zicato]

Originally Posted by Elspode

Thanks for the good vibes. Please keep them coming, and try to spare some for Selene as well.

That sucks, Els. I hope you bounce back quickly.

On the above, though, I can't go along. I think it's pretty low to leave without telling the person face to face. If nothing else, you've just mad closure hard to come by.

I think she's got some bad Karma coming.

[Ibby]

hey els, im going through rough times too, maybe not as rough as yours but i have so much sympathy. stay safe, good vibes and happy thoughts beaming your way.

[Pie]

I haven't been back here in a coon's age, but I had to get the story after seeing the fb posts. Els, you've been one one of the most fascinating, open-hearted and admirable people I've met in the last decade. I believe in you. I don't know Donna so I cannot judge her. But I do know you don't deserve this. I'm so sorry.

Be strong. I'm glad TF is there for you.

Hugs to both of you.

[footfootfoot]

Pie, you've been missed.