I'm going to adopt!

[morethanpretty]

At least, I hope to adopt, a rescue dog named Toby. He's a dachshund and dandi dinmont terrier mix. About 2 years old, so about 2 years younger than Della. A boy, obviously. Golden blonde fur. He's just adorable. Tomorrow Della and I are meeting him and his foster mom at the park and I hope it all goes well. I'm very excited but nervous that the foster mom won't like me or Della and he won't get along for some reason. His foster mom says he's a "middle of the pack" kind of dog and Della is dominant, so I'm hoping they will mesh well. Maybe even play tomorrow. Oh, that would be brilliant.

Here is his petfinder page:
http://www.petfinder.com/petdetail/24111126

Only a couple of small issues. My mom is set against me adopting another dog right now. She has a case, my finances and health are still not 100% after my surgery. I do owe my parents some money they lent so that I could get through my unplanned prolonged recovery. I plan on appeasing her by using my Christmas bonus to pay a chunk back and have a plan that'll have her paid back by the end of this year hopefully. I have my budget all spread-sheeted out. It might be tight for the first couple of months after I adopt, but I think we can make it.
If he's the right dog, he's the right dog. It may not be exactly the right time, but I promised Della a brother for 2 years now and it'll be 3 in June. She needs a companion and it makes me sad thinking she's lonely when I'm not around.
My psychiatrist is also against the idea. Since I had a set back with my bipolar disorder also when I had surgery, she's worried the added anxiety will be too much for me. I think a fresh dog in the household will be the shake up Della and I need to get out of our rut. The extra exercise of caring for another dog will be good for me too. Della is lazy and doesn't need too much, but Toby will need more and it'll be good for all 3 of us.
Toby is not 100% housebroken and apparently has a tendency to potty in the house when loose at night. His foster mom says its just at night, so I'm not completely sure how I'm going to handle that. I don't want to crate him because I'd prefer he sleep with me, or at least be free. I'm just not big on crating. Having a good place for them to go and have a "den" is good, I just don't like locking them in.
The last issue that I'm a tad worried about is shedding. Della doesn't shed and dandi dinmonts don't shed, but dachshunds do. I didn't want to bring it up with his foster mom so I didn't seem shallow but I'd prefer he didn't shed.

The worst thing would be if I fell in love with him (like I almost already am) and the rescue group decided I wasn't right for him. I've never been through this process and this is a really small group from what I can tell. I've talked on the phone with the foster mom a bit and she seems very particular even though she did seem to like me.

So anyway, tell me how dumb I am for adopting another dog right now. Or not. Whichever.

[xoxoxoBruce]

I think a fresh dog in the household will be the shake up Della and I need to get out of our rut.

Sure, nothing like a threesome to shake things up.

[orthodoc]

No opinion or advice, just a few questions that I'm sure you've thought through already -

How will you handle it if/when Toby poops on or under your bed repeatedly, or elsewhere in your home? If you're not going to crate him and he potties inside at night when loose, he WILL potty in your home. Della may pick up the behavior as well.

You don't want him to shed, but he almost certainly will. How will you deal with this in practical terms?

Do you think your psychiatrist's concerns are valid, i.e. does stress worsen your bipolar disorder? What happens when you have a setback? In case of a setback, would you be able to care for both Toby and Della?

Does your budget have enough margin in it for unexpected vet bills? Expected vet bills?

Are your parents in agreement with your payment plan? Is your mother's concern for your health well-founded? Will you realistically be able to cope financially in the first month or two, even if unexpected financial stresses (like a large veterinary bill or another medical issue) occur?

Just some thoughts that come to mind. Toby's cuteness, which is undeniable, is only one small aspect of the entire picture. If important people in your life are expressing concern, maybe a little more time and discussion before making a commitment?

[monster]

And what are the "pros"? (besides a satisfied "I want")

Is Della showing the stress of being a single pet?
Does he face the needle if you don't take him? Are you the last person who finds him adorable?

[monster]

and I ain't going near finances..... oh wait. adoption fees, neutering, chipping snd insurance will pretty much take up that bonus you were planning on appeasing your mom with, unless you work for Stark Industries

[morethanpretty]

Originally Posted by orthodoc

No opinion or advice, just a few questions that I'm sure you've thought through already -

How will you handle it if/when Toby poops on or under your bed repeatedly, or elsewhere in your home? If you're not going to crate him and he potties inside at night when loose, he WILL potty in your home. Della may pick up the behavior as well.

You don't want him to shed, but he almost certainly will. How will you deal with this in practical terms?

Do you think your psychiatrist's concerns are valid, i.e. does stress worsen your bipolar disorder? What happens when you have a setback? In case of a setback, would you be able to care for both Toby and Della?

Does your budget have enough margin in it for unexpected vet bills? Expected vet bills?

Are your parents in agreement with your payment plan? Is your mother's concern for your health well-founded? Will you realistically be able to cope financially in the first month or two, even if unexpected financial stresses (like a large veterinary bill or another medical issue) occur?

Just some thoughts that come to mind. Toby's cuteness, which is undeniable, is only one small aspect of the entire picture. If important people in your life are expressing concern, maybe a little more time and discussion before making a commitment?

Della wasn't 100% potty trained either when I adopted her. I know how to clean up the mess. I'm just not sure if I'm going to crate him awhile or set up a routine where I take him out right before bed, once in the night, and again right when I wake up. Which will be best for him and me, and will he make the transition to a full night without a potty break? I'm honestly not sure and plan on consulting more information about it. I've not ran into this specific issue before.

I've had shedding dogs before, its just more brushing and clean up. Della technically sheds, but it has to be brushed out. I love brushing my dog while watching TV, so brushing isn't a big deal. Its just getting used to have dog hair all over again that I have to get used to.

Psych's concerns are valid, wrong type of stress makes my anxiety shoot way up, but exercise is good for anxiety and so is my Della being happy. I am still capable of caring for my dog when my anxiety is bad, I just am not capable of work. Which is the real issue, money.

I have a CareCredit card with a decent limit, so unexpected vet bills should be covered as well as the expected bills.

My mom is in agreement with a much less aggressive payment plan then the new one I've made up. She will be fine with this one. My insurance has started over for the year, I have a decent HRA. Finances aren't really what stress me.Its mostly work, but I've been put on PTSD meds that I'm hopeful about. Anyone can have a surprise major health ailment occur to them at anytime. This is America, we do bankrupt people for that. I don't have anything looming on the horizon health wise. I'm mostly stable now that my surgery fiasco is over, and I don't have any other health ailments that should require such a large chunk of change looming in the distance. In fact, my surgery should start improving my health better than it was before. (I had a tonsillectomy and balloon sinuplasty if you didn't know.)

As I said, this has been my wish for 3 years. I have not stopped searching for a partner for Della during that time, or trying to get to the "right place" or find the "right dog." If this is the right dog, I've been planning and thinking about this for 3 years, they have not. Yes, their concerns are valid and I do consider them. I was on the fence about contacting the rescue group about him for at least a week. I favorited his page and visited over and over. I went to bed thinking about it, woke up in the middle of the night and thought about it, thought about it while I peed. I know I'm a tad obsessive, but the discussion has been going on in my head since the moment I got Della. I tried discussing it with them, but they won't budge anymore than I will. I've discussed it with coworkers, friends, and now my forum. I just don't know how to explain it. This may all be for naught and he may not be the right dog, or his foster mom may think I'm not the right owner.

[morethanpretty]

Originally Posted by monster

And what are the "pros"? (besides a satisfied "I want")

Is Della showing the stress of being a single pet?
Does he face the needle if you don't take him? Are you the last person who finds him adorable?

Pros: Della and I will both get more exercise.
She has shown the need for more stimuli, and the dog park here is unfortunately lacking in small dog playmates.
She needs the socialization, I need the fresh air. Its boring to sit at the dog park and watch the big dogs play while Della looks at me wanting to know where her playmates are. She doesn't like to be with the big dogs, so that is not an option. I've tried finding playmates for her, setting up dates, ect ect. It just doesn't mesh up.
Another family was set to adopt him, they came back from holiday getting a divorce. Yes, there may yet be another family, but will be as good as Della and I? Will I be good as them? I strive to be the best.
He's in foster care, so true he doesn't face death, but foster care isn't a home.

[monster]

I hope the meeting is a match made in the heavenly pasta bowl good luck, I doubt you'll need it

[morethanpretty]

Originally Posted by monster

and I ain't going near finances..... oh wait. adoption fees, neutering, chipping snd insurance will pretty much take up that bonus you were planning on appeasing your mom with, unless you work for Stark Industries

He is neutered, chipped, vaccinated, all of that. I don't plan on getting pet insurance right away, I'm still unsure of the cost effectiveness of it, but my company actually offers a pet insurance plan at a discount rate. His adoption fee is $150, my pet deposit will be $200. I have that plus what I plan on paying my parents. Yes, I work for Stark Industries. CEO in fact. I don't need to buy a leash, a collar, or a harness for him, I have double those and they should fit him with some adjustment. I even have a nice gender neutral coat for him and a girly sweater for Della if it gets cold out. If he has to eat his dog food from a paper plate for a while, that is fine but a bowl can't be that expensive. I have enough dog food for 2 Della's for at least month. (And enough food for myself.) I'm looking for a 2nd hand crate (I never needed one for Della) and if push comes to shove, the bathroom will do until I can find one I can afford or get my next fat check (on the 18th). The rescue does not do on site adoption, they will visit a couple of times and do a house visit, so I plan on it taking a few weeks to be able to ACTUALLY adopt Toby. So I might even have had my next check or two by they time its all said and done.
My money in my first bank covers my bills just fine up until I get my next check, and if I need to, I now have some tucked away in my 2nd bank.
I have enough meds for a month and their cost comes out of my HRA.
Oh and its my birthday on Jan 30 and I've asked for money only as a gift.

If push really comes to shove, I'm fairly certain I can sell my used panties online. I've been researching it.

Edit: I also have sick pay again, so if I am out sick for some reason, I will still get pay.

[morethanpretty]

Thanks monster and ortho. Challenges like this is what helps me make up my mind.

[orthodoc]

As I said, just some questions that came to mind. Glad to be of help in your decision-making; hope all works out.

[monster]

and you know I was playing DA -I hate doge someone neeeds to love 'em