The Horrors of the Outdoors

[xoxoxoBruce]

Never, ever, ever camp in the Everglades.
At the bottom of the Grand Canyon the pitter patter of little scorpion feet across my body.
Blue Ridge Parkway, on a side hill with a thunderstorm induced creek running through the tent, don't hang a Coleman lantern in the tent with a piece of plastic clothesline rope.
In Maine, don't camp on a moose path.
In CA on the mexican border, don't camp next to a dairy farm (flys).
In Hatteras, don't back off the road onto the sand after dark.
In Laconia, don't cut through the Hells Angels camp.
In Alaska, don't forget the Deet and camp well away from the dirt roads that throw up a 30 foot wall of dust when a truck goes by.
In Montana, don't camp where the valley is narrow enough to make the wind triple speed.
Even a bad motel is a welcome respite, sometimes. Unless someone parks a truck with a lonely lamb under your window.